Communication - is this normal?

[spats]

Hello,

 

Struggling a bit at the mo. I have lurked around this forum for quite a while.

A month ago my ds was dx with moderate autism. To say I am devastated would be an understatement. I was expecting HFA at the very worst.

 

Anyway I digress - my ds sings an awful lot and has a huge range of songs of which he is generally word perfect. However when he talks to you there are generally 4 scenarios 1) he speaks sense 2) he answers the question with an inappropriate answer 3) he talks complete rubbish 4) he completely ignores me. More often than not I have to repeat things 6 times before I get a response.

 

I just don't understand why there are such wide ranging responses. It is almost like some days he is 'with us' and other days he isn't on the same planet.

SALT said that his speech and language has a 16 month delay. He also has perfect hearing.

 

Is this typical from a child with moderate autism? I am still clutching at straws it will be something he grows out of.

 

K

[LizC]

Hi My son has aspergers / high functioning and he is just like that. this is something the school has picked up on as well.it really can be hard work can't it? normally with autism like to talk about what they are interested in and not bothered about anything else. well that is how Matthew is anyway and will interupt conversations and try and change the conversation lol sometimes he is totally in his own world, mainly when playing, he goes really hyper etc and he will just not answer or talk to me at all!

 

oh and M loves music and singing too!

Edited February 13, 2008 by LizC

[sueeltringham]

You don't say how old your son is, but my son sounded very similar at age 4 and nearly 5. Then, last year his speech came together and he's now been assessed as appropriate for age (although lower end). However he often answers with inappropriate answers or talks rubbish or ignores me. My son's diagnosed HFA. I guess it all depends on the child, situation, mood, other distractions, etc. I've found what helps in getting an appropriate response is to say his name, ask the question, wait (sometimes for a long time), if necessary repeat keeping words to a minimum. I'm still not guaranteed an answer to my question. I also need to get down on his level and gain eye contact or at least looking in my direction. I think speech is soooo complicated. Our children often don't realise they need to answer a question or they often don't hear it (because of sensory distrations). I'm not sure what you'd expect in 'moderate autism', but what you describe sounds quite normal to me with my experiences of HFA/Aspergers.

 

Sue

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I don't know how old your son is. My son is 6 and has AS. I've found over the past few years that certain traits/characteristics appear as others disappear. One thing I did notice was when he was three, he'd walk around as if in his own little world babbling away. It was very difficult to decifer what he was saying, but when I did, I realised he was reciting scenes from eg Star Trek, Thunderbirds, etc. He still does this, but not as much - he does however, play act scenes and this actually helps to make him a very popular little boy at school (I've seen it with my own eyes as well as being told by the school). There are lots of other things going on too, such as, earlier this evening I could tell he was tired and irritable. He suddenly became very abusive and started talking about strange things eg asking for an injection, because he apparently likes them!, etc - the things he was talking about weren't in context and his demeanor, etc had changed. In truth, sometimes he can go for a few hours, days or unusually sometimes a couple of weeks when he seems almost 'normal', then he'll say or do something that is a harsh reminder.

 

I was given a fantastic piece of advice that certainly helps when trying to give my son instructions and that is to keep the instructions short and sweet eg, instead of saying: R time to get your socks and shoes on, then jacket, it's time to go. Much better to say: socks, shoes, jacket, time to go. Perhaps not the best example, but you get the drift. A lot of ASD kids and adults can have great difficulty processing verbal information, and by keeping it short and giving them time to process the information often gets better results than repeating an instructions over and over within a short space of time. Visual timetables often work well or social stories, because they are visual and are generally instantly recognisable in what is being communicated. Those may help.

 

I do recall very vividly what an emotional rollercoaster the whole diagnosis thing was - something that I fought for for a long time, then when I got the diagnosis for my son, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted it! Best piece of advice I can give you is not to look too far ahead. Sure, you have to plan the following day and the day after, but I found I got incredibly depressed thinking about the year and years ahead. Take one day at a time!

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[bid]

Best piece of advice I can give you is not to look too far ahead. Sure, you have to plan the following day and the day after, but I found I got incredibly depressed thinking about the year and years ahead. Take one day at a time!

 

This is really good advice.

 

My DS is now 18, and a world away from how he was when he got his dx at 7.

 

He has made such huge progress even in the last 2 years...he now has a job and is increasingly independent.

 

I can't tell you how different he is from when he was a little boy, and would only talk 'at' you about his obsessions. Now he is a young man who can be great company, entertaining and very thoughtful.

 

Bid

Edited February 13, 2008 by bid

[Suze]

Try not to focus too much on what the dx was/is...........ie HFA etc.I,m sure it means different things to different professionals.Some refuse to use such terminology...........and I,m sure that others would agree that a dx made when a child is 3 can sometimes have no relation to a teenager or adult later on.My sons speach is totally different to how it was when he was younger things do change.Try when your speaking to him to get in his field of view, start by using his name, keep answers ,requests short and concise, using pictures might help, ie pictures of things in his daily routine like bath, car, nursery, school, food etc.Also if your working with him do it somewhere where there are no visual or audio distractions.My son would go into a trance in his class at school if too much sensory input was coming at him and he would,nt engage.best wishes suzex

[spats]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply

 

My ds is nearly 5.

I guess what I was trying to ascertain was - is it normal for someone to have such the amount of speech with moderate autism?

 

My ds also answers questions with phrases / paragraphs from film / TV. I really wish I had his memory!

 

It is really comforting to read that age makes a big difference to their communicative ability.

 

I shall try hard not to look too far ahead!

 

K

[Deedee]

Hi Spats

My son also has moderate autism..we were shocked when they said that as we had always thought of him as HF!! He also has a profound speech and language disorder (the SALT insists on having this seperate label so he gets the best therapy for it.) When he was younger *he's now 9* he never spoke at all,then we progressed to 'Russian' I used to call it as it was words but in no particular order.

 

With intensive SALT he is making good progress and now mainly struggles due to his processing of language,that bit's broke so he'll always struggle with it but he's getting better all the time

 

When he is stressed we revert to either Russian or nothing(or Opera singing!!!)..He often just shuts down as his hearing is supersensitive and its usually due to a sensory overload of some sort.We have lurched on in cycles of this for years but he surprises us every day..

 

We never thought he would learn to read for example as he just doesn't get phonetics,but he is wonderful at visual processing so has learnt by sight reading.We were gobsmacked when he just suddenly read a subtitle from Spongebob word perfect! We always wondered why he put the subtitles on stuff but it seems as he can't process spoken words very well he follows it better when he sees it on screen

[smiley]

Some great advice here - just wanted to say hi <'> and put my own personal spin on things.

 

I'm dx HFA, but as a child would have been dx moderatly autistic too. I had very little speech before four and limited speech, and understanding of language, before seven / eight.

 

My son is dx Aspergers, and is nine - it's only been this last year that he's been able to have a two sided conversation.

 

It takes a bit more time than the average Jo, but we got there!

 

It's a frightening time for any parent - but this is the place to be for support, advice, a little madness and that wonderful 'so, it's not just me' feeling.

[mandyque]

It can depend on what is going on at the time, distractions, sensory issues and the mood which a child is in as to how much interaction and successful communication happens IMO. It's the same for us really, if we are stressed out we can't take as much in as when we are calm. If you are trying to hold a conversation and there is something distracting you on TV, for instance, you may not hear the whole conversation and may miss important points which affect your ability to respond appropriately.

 

I often think of autism as being extremes of what we all go through, especially with emotions and feelings, the things which can be a mild bother to us could be extremely upsetting to someone with an ASD iykwim.