Can anyone help?

[TheToaster]

Hi, I've recently discovered Asperger's Syndrome, and I'm pretty sure I have it - it would explain so much, like me never being able to look people in the eye, making awkward conversation (If any), panicing about being going somewhere on my own and many other things. I mean, just now, my friend has told me how upset she is over personal issues and I didn't care - which really bothers me. I had no idea how to react, or what to say (even though it was only over the internet) and I broke down crying and shaking.

 

I'm pretty sure I have this condition ... but I'm finding it nearly impossible to tell anyone. I've never been able to display my emotions openly and I rarely tell anyone if something's bothering me, even my parents, or my sister whom I'm closer to than anyone else. I've been racking my brain trying to think of a way to tell them but I just can't finf someway of telling anyone.

 

I'm scarred that anyone I tell will just dismiss me as being a drama queen. My family aren't even aware aspergers exists, if I mention it's a form of autism (High functioning or not) they'll disregard what I'm saying because of what they know about that. I don't think anyone is completely aware just how awkward and difficult social situations are for me - it's only the last year or so I've been able to get on the bus without panicking about buying the ticket (And I still worry that someone might sit next to me if I'm on my own). I still can't order food from a restaurant without becoming tongue tied, or mumbling my order. Also, I've always done well in my studies and am a fairly intelligent person, which isn't something my parents would asscociate with autism (Simply because they are not aware), so as far as most people are concerned, there's nothing wrong.

 

I'm 20 years old and my mum and dad are getting on at me to be more independant - why don't I go to the shop myself? Make myself an appointment at the opticians? etc. Which is understandable on their part. But it's really, really hard for me. I'm becoming increasingly distressed, and fear I am probably becoming depressed, as all I've wanted to do lately is cry (And have on many occasions - when no one is around).

 

So, please, if anyone could offer any advice, you would help me emensly. I'd go to the doctor's for a diagnosis (so I could be 100% sure before I confronted my family and friends) but, honestly, I just wouldn't be able to explain my symptons to him (Plus he's incomptitant and rude).

 

I just want to be able to somehow explain to someone

 

(Sorry this post is so long D: )

[purplehaze]

Hello, firstly I understand how hard it is to explain to people, because a lot of people only know the sterotype of autism.

 

If you can't go to your Doctors or talk to your family (although i'm sure they would be very supportive) try phoning the National Autisitc Society-0845 070 4004

Or try looking at their website (you may be able to show your family to help them understand)

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=212

 

Just keep posting on here for support as well. X

[oxgirl]

Hi and welcome. <'>

Have you read any books about AS? Maybe you could get some books from the NAS and read through them and, if you feel they're relevant to you, you could show them to your parents for them to read and see what they think. That might be a way of broaching the subject with them without you having to try and explain everything yourself. It might also give them time to sit down quietly and read and think in their own time about what they're reading rather than having to come up with an instant response.

Good luck. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Kinda]

Hi The Toaster

 

I think there are a number of issues you raise and I think the important thing for you is to get a diagnosis which will help you get the help you so rightly deserve. I think your parents/relations are going to be shocked when you initially discuss with them your concerns and they may not accept what you say initially but I think if you do your research and explain to them how you feel and how the AS affects your life and wellbeing then I believe they will accept what you say.

 

I think the initial main problem you have is your own mental wellbeing and to manage your stress and depression and this means you need to discuss with someone how you feel and seek the help you deserve. Like others have recommended I would start researching the topic, try the Autistic Society and use this forum to help understand why you behave the way you do and develop your own strategies to cope.

 

I think you are about to set off on a journey where you don't know what is at the end of it but if you feel the way you do then it has to be better than just doing nothing. Not sure why you feel your parents will react the way you suspect but I would try them first and discuss your concerns and why you believe you do have AS and perhaps they could read about AS from the forum.

 

I don't think there is any need for you to be on your own, help is out there its just about tapping into the areas of help and other members are better suited about getting your doctor to help you seek a diagnosis. I do know the Autistic Society can help advise on this aspect, I rang them for help and found them very good but the forum has been very useful to help me understand my son better and there are just so many people here who are willing and able to help you, there is no need for you to feel you are on your own now.

Edited April 13, 2008 by Kinda

[Mumble]

I'd go to the doctor's for a diagnosis (so I could be 100% sure before I confronted my family and friends)

You will need input (of some sort) from your family for a diagnosis as they need to see that the issues have been prevalent across your lifespan (to rule out other diagnoses).

[Tally]

Hi Toaster, and welcome to the forum.

 

I first heard about Asperger's when I was 21. It took me several years to find the courage to tell my parents about it, and 2 years on, they still insist it's "not really autism." I think if your parents don't want to know it's a type of autism, there's no point trying to press that on them.

 

Perhaps if you're close to your sister, she would be a good place to start. It might help to gather some information about Asperger's first, some leaflets or a book. The NAS do a fairly good leaflet on Asperger's. She might also be able to help you explain it to your parents.

 

If your doctor is rude or incompetent, you can change your GP. Anyone has the right to change their GP without having to explain why. If there are several GPs at the practice, you may be able to visit a different GP without needing to change your GP anyway. Writing some things down could be helpful. If you could list your symptoms in bullet points, it will be clear and easy to read. It could also help to include the leaflet from the NAS too, since many GPs don't know much about Asperger's.

[TheToaster]

aah, thankyou everyone for your help

I've been reading a lot online for the past week or so (It's been the only thing I've been able to think about for a while :| ) but I'll be sure to get some leaflets, and find some books so I have a greater understanding, which will help when I try to explain Or, like you said oxgirl, give them a book to someone (Which is generally the way I raise issues anyway )

 

I'm going to try and pluck up the courage to tell my sister sometime, I know she'll be supportive and will be a big help.

 

So yes, thankyou so much everyone for your support - you've all been a ton help!

[Tally]

If you want a good book, I would recommend, The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome by Tony Attwood. A few people don't like it, but my parents and I have found it very informative. A leaflet might also be helpful, because it would be a quick and easy way to show your sister about AS. Afterwards she might want to read a book.

[TheToaster]

Thankyou Tally - I'll look into getting my hands on a copy!

[Suze]

Hi Toaster, perhaps you could print off this thread for them to read themselves, I think you just want them to listen to you and take you seriously , I,m sure they will.Best wishes suzex