Help needed with tantrums?

[mrsmuffins]

My son (4) was recently diagnosed with Aspergers, we are waiting for an appt with the OT to assess what help he needs with gross and fine motor skills.

 

He has recently started to have some pretty big mood swings, the worst one was this morning getting ready to go to school. We had a nice morning having breakfast, a bath and getting dressed and he was fine until he sat to put his shoes on. Then he started wailing 'I don't want to go to school, I hate school' and went from 0-60 in about 30 seconds. He was honestly unconsolable and was crying and making this incessant shrieking sound and refusing to look at us or listen.

 

I don't know if we did the right thing, but we took him into school through the office and one of the classroom assistants came out of class and took him off, still crying and shrieking! We called when we got home and she said he was OK, she had managed to distract him with cuddles, activities and stickers.

 

I am really looking for some advice on ways to deal with this situation before he escalates to the point where we can't get through to him...does anyone else go through this? I don't know if it's the recent break from school and the routines there and now he's had to go back and start them all up again...?

 

x

[Suze]

Hi, my boy would get like this when he was younger, he,d sort of feel the pressure build prior to school then let rip .My son dislikes school always has, he can,t see the point .I learnt that the more he got worked up the better it was to take a step back and give him a bit of time, he was late for school alot but at least we got him there.The screaming scenario still sends shivers down my spine I hated the fact that I was triggering the melt down by trying to get him ready etc.You could also try to find out if there is something bothering him at school, one such thing for my son was dinner time, he hated it and would worry all day.It turned out someone ate egg sandwiches on his table and it made him heave and gave him headaches.After some persuasion from me the school let him eat in his classroom, best of luck suzex.....ps my son does,nt do this now hes 12 ..........apart from this morning when his alarm failed to go off and his taxi was 10 mins early .........routine broke and he lost it BIG time.....hey ho

[smiley1590]

im 18 yrs old female

 

off dx at age of 14 yrs old

 

i still have major 'meltdowns' as NT norm' peeps call AS tempa tantrums basicalli mine still estacliate out of control wid horrific violence attacks towards ma parents n twin bro wich im not proud of oviously im ashamed of maself so much! but it like it not me who doing it! ma parents have in past physicalli restrained me as i get so powerful n strong when in a meltdown! dunno how to be honest just happens comes from no where alot of the time cant find a explaination or reason to it im quite verbal also when in a meltdown session!

 

it like im watching someone else doing that angry violent aggressive epdisode it not nice to be around me when im in a completely meltdown it mostli when had a real bad day at (mainstream) college level 2 course which im finding realli challenging n difficult at times but finish all my course entirely in end of june thank god! no more assignments as they constantli drag ma mood levels down they drop dramatically

 

i lash out whos close to me like ma parents mostli which i feel guilty for aftawards as i know it wrong but ma boilong frustrations from that stressful,exhausing day can sometimes leak ova into wen i come home i find it hard to chill out properli n relax as im still anx when arrive home from ma colege day! i used to be same at school is so frustrating now being able to perform n fuction on the same level as ya peeps that so difficult to cope wid and handle swallow wid pride the pride u got left afta all that! lol ive chuked stones at ma huse window i dunt have much help n support along the way neitha has ma family that annoys n upsets me i fink that y im suffering wid so many affects of not having the rite kind of help n support so no im not grateful to many peeps along the way as havnt had many to begin wid!

 

i get scared n frightened of maself when having a meltdown mo! i get so tired n exhaused afta it thou!

im get both suicidal n depressed alot during a meltdown im a danger to maself n ovas i just dunt give a damn about any1 or anyfink it a rage an vlocanic explosion in ma mind it blows a switch in ma head n i turn into someone i dislike alot trust i wish i culd go bac it hurts to know n recognise clearli the fings i dune to peeps the fings i bin throu it not easy it so hard n difficult at times!

 

how hard can i be to live an AS/ASD life very challenging id live a NT peep to try our life for a day n see how bloodi gruellin it is for us how much it takes out of us as peeps! trying to be 'norm' to 'fit in' i bin rejected so many times in so many differnt ways by society that damages ya self-esteem/ confidence foreva i il probo neva get that all bac fanx to the bullies who robbed/ igornant teachers T.A's/O.T's of that chance of succeeding to ma highest standard of believing in maself as i now question what i do all the time n how i dune it n if i culd have dune it beta get so anx about everyfink n anyfink!

 

bin on an anti -pyschotic risperdal but hasnt touched me when on it for some strange reason ma child pysch didnt chek up on me regularli enugh i feel n still the same in adult now i have a new pysch there puts ya on meds n cays fanx got wat i need see ya in 2 months we'll wirte to u i fink i a disgusting manner thse days u have to be ina desperate state to recieve any kind of help, recognition for being determined head strong n carrying on wid everyday life they seem to ingorn the quiet ones that dunt complain keep there heads down maybe thats our prob most of us! maybe we should stand up n cay sumfink against the poor quality of service provided n recieved !

 

anyways bies for now! if anyone got any questions feel free to PM me in ma mail inbox anytime i dunt mind honest!

 

love ya loadz

take care

hope this thread helps

 

KirstXxXx

[Shnoing]

In general, meltdowns happen when the person with AS 'suffers' from sensory overload, especially sudden changes in the accustomed routines or smells/noises/views that disturb, sometimes unnoticed by NT persons.

Sometimes you can prevent a meltdown by talking explicitly about your plans/changes in advance.

With our son, when in meltdown, it sometimes helps to count, e.g. 26 down to zero, because he's fascinated by numbers.

[smiley1590]

heyz

 

ive tried couting back from 100- 1 when i one of my explosive moments but nufink n no -one can get me to calm down and relax ma whole bodi is tense i can normalli tell wen i about to happen but for sum reason howeva much i try to stop it before it gets to that stage it makes it ten times worse! i tried so many different techiques when i feel these emotions and feelings it like im a million miles away from everyone n everyfink

 

i cant explain how i get there but thats the way it is for me it both exhausing,tiring n distressing for both me and ma parents i thought i shuld have grown out of this by now though! i had so many fings go wrong nufinks ever straight forward for me! like ovas peeps ma age! i feel so confused and upset in that mental state of mind when i that bad! i so wish i didnt have to go throu all this to prove im a strong willed determined person who wants to try her best im so ashamed/ embarrassed of what i do to other peeps like ma parents the violence, anger n agression reaches boiling point wev havnt recieved much help or support from ny1 n that hurts to know that! i had to work it out on my own i am learning to control it far more now than i used to but still get highly annoyed and irratated about silly little fings!

 

meds dunt seems to touch me n work for sum strange reason so im alone in that too.

 

i cant seem make me head stop being less anxious n stressful. i very fearful n tearful over my future and what it holds i suppose it the unknown that scary and frightnening to me!

 

love ya loadz

take care

Kirst-LoUxXxXx

[mrsmuffins]

Thanks all for the replies - I suppose I just find it hard as I really don't know what the trigger is. Again this morning he was absolutely happy on the way to school, running along with his friend and playing games, then all of a sudden he just started to cry again, out of the blue...I try and distract him and switch subjects, I've asked him before to just come and run fast with me or jump up and down together - even though we look silly I don't care! But he won't do any of that atm, I may try the counting or something similar - he loves superheroes so I may try challenging him to a hero naming contest, lol, trust me I know all about them as well by now!

 

x

[smiley1590]

good luck wid ya little boi do u get any help n support wid him...? what dx has e got wat off dx has e got...? does e go to a 'normal' skool...? or a special skool as i was always brought up in mainstream n for me it hasnt dune me any harm yes i struggled n found it difficult n hard at times but so does everyone else n get bullied u just manage the best u can wid ya got thats it realli!

 

im now at colege

 

i bin there 2 yrs wen every1 sed i wuldnt even pass ma GCSEs i did! i got a grade for every subject i tok even thou so anx n stressd ova the whole fink n sat in anutha room! dunt give up hope or on ya sons abilities ma mum n dad didnt there saw sumfink worth fightin for now lok at me hoping to start full time work in sept in anursery skool working wid peeps wid special ed needs so encourage n support be there thats all u can do u tried be symapathic as much as poss n understand i know it very diffclt n hard to do but i bin there personalli it not easy on kid or fam they both go throu they own type of fings trust me we have! ul get there! fight his corner wid him show him e can do it fi he wants to try n make an effort!

 

hope that insight helped u out just abit

 

love ya

KirstXxXx

[JsMum]

Hello I would recommend you keep a daily diary and see if there is a pattern, if is happens more on certian days, what staff are teatching especially if the teacher is a shared job and they alternate, it may be he is having difficulties with other children in subjects that require more social interaction.

 

I would see how things go for a week and if he worsens arrange for a meeting to look at ways to help your son settle in school, it may be they can look at social stories and feeling techneques so help him express his feelings of school and home.

 

It may be seperation issues too, you sound like you really understand your son and help him lots maybe he feels he doesnt nessasarily get that from teachers.

 

Is he recieving any extra support at school, TA, social group support, buddy clubs, ect....

 

 

School is a really complex place for children with ASD/AS/ADHD because of the social and sensory issues it may be that he requires a spersific Individual Education Plan which can include emotional and behavioural difficulties so not just learning side of school.

 

For J we have a visual display of all the key tasks of what to do this helps him prepare for the transition of home to school.

 

How is he when he comes home.

 

 

 

JsMum