Should we get School to tell the class/parents?

[Lizziesfolks]

Hi all

 

Here is a quick question for you all,

 

Last week we were advised that our 9 year old Daughter has Aspergers and we are wondering if the teacher should tell the class/parents of our news!

 

A bit of back ground for you to help you decide:

She has learning delays and social issues (Understatement!) but in the past some of the parents have been less than willing to listen or understand that she is different

when things have happened and the school have tried to explain that she is different they haven't listened and have her down as a "naughty child".

As a side note the other girls in her class are less than caring about her

 

So now you have the background what do we do tell them or leave it

 

Thanks

 

Chris

[Enid]

I am sure others will be able to advise more, but is she actually diagnosed? If she is then hopefully you should get some support in school, or perhaps she will now get a statement. I get where you are coming from though! my son was in yr 6 when he finaly got his diagnosis, and had got the "naughty boy" label, I did feel like yelling SEE!!!!! in a very loud voice to some parents!!. good luck. Enid.

[Lizziesfolks]

Enid, thanks for the quick response

 

When we went last week to see someone they spoke to my wife,looked at all the reports we had sent and gave me a tick list of about 40 questions (the ticklist was headed "Childrens Aspergers Syndrome test" and when i handed it back he went through it and probably ticked about 35 of the answer i had given, they were just yes/no answers.

He then asked her a few questions and watched her and then at the end said yes to the question we gave of "do you think she has AS" but he said she answered one question a little bit different than he expected so we are going again and he is going to do an ASDS? test on her.

As to getting a statement - she has had a statement since she was 5 (Because her Literacy/Numeracy levels at 1 points were 2.5 years behind her real age).she is catching up slowly and is only about 12 months behind now

 

Any one ever heard of an ASDS Test?

 

Thanks again

 

Chris

[harmony]

Enid, thanks for the quick response

 

When we went last week to see someone they spoke to my wife,looked at all the reports we had sent and gave me a tick list of about 40 questions (the ticklist was headed "Childrens Aspergers Syndrome test" and when i handed it back he went through it and probably ticked about 35 of the answer i had given, they were just yes/no answers.

He then asked her a few questions and watched her and then at the end said yes to the question we gave of "do you think she has AS" but he said she answered one question a little bit different than he expected so we are going again and he is going to do an ASDS? test on her.

As to getting a statement - she has had a statement since she was 5 (Because her Literacy/Numeracy levels at 1 points were 2.5 years behind her real age).she is catching up slowly and is only about 12 months behind now

 

Any one ever heard of an ASDS Test?

 

Thanks again

 

Chris

[harmony]

Hi all

 

Here is a quick question for you all,

 

Last week we were advised that our 9 year old Daughter has Aspergers and we are wondering if the teacher should tell the class/parents of our news!

 

A bit of back ground for you to help you decide:

She has learning delays and social issues (Understatement!) but in the past some of the parents have been less than willing to listen or understand that she is different

when things have happened and the school have tried to explain that she is different they haven't listened and have her down as a "naughty child".

As a side note the other girls in her class are less than caring about her

 

So now you have the background what do we do tell them or leave it

 

Thanks

 

Sorry, pressed wrong key before. My daughter is 12 having recently been diagnosed with AS. If she had been younger, I would have told other parents, now she is in secondary she does not want anyone to know why she is different. I promised her I wouldn't tell a soul unless she agreed. Consequently it has been really hard for me as I can't talk about it to anyone. Thankfully she copes well (ish) at school, we just have all the issues to deal with at home. My advice, tell people, get support, before she asserts her own thoughts on the matter.

harmony

 

Chris

[Lizziesfolks]

Harmony

 

Thanks for that, that is also something we need to think about

 

Chris

[Flora]

If a peer group are going to be told it has to be done sensitively and professionally. When my son was at mainstream secondary school the autism outreach support teacher came in and explained his difficulties to his tutor group during the first week of term. It worked very well because some of his tutor group were really helpful and kind to him, although he wasn't receptive to their overtures and ended up leaving after one and a half terms, it was a whole lot better than the bullying which could go with lack of understanding.

 

Flora

[Lizziesfolks]

Flora

 

Thanks for that

[rach04]

If a peer group are going to be told it has to be done sensitively and professionally. When my son was at mainstream secondary school the autism outreach support teacher came in and explained his difficulties to his tutor group during the first week of term. It worked very well because some of his tutor group were really helpful and kind to him, although he wasn't receptive to their overtures and ended up leaving after one and a half terms, it was a whole lot better than the bullying which could go with lack of understanding.

 

Flora

 

 

This is how js was done and very well they did it too. Its a difficult thing for a "normal" teacher to explain there are so many aspects. Js was done in a every child is different type of way and didnt actually mention him even though the other kids told me who they knew who the Out reach was talking about.

Edited May 6, 2008 by rach04

[Shnoing]

Obviously, the other children and their parents already 'got it' that there's something different about your child. How they'd respond to being told explicitly is difficult to predict. Perhaps I would prefer to keep it vague.

[pearl]

We never gave it a "name" with JP as I was worried the children might latch onto it & use it as an insult. But they were given talks about differently wired brains etc, without JP ever explicity being mentioned.

[Cat]

I have heard of an ADOS test but not an ASDS test. As for peer awareness I think that unless people, even children are aware then how can you expect them to accomodate the difference. That said I agree with Flora it has to be done correctly and I think that your daughter should have a say. She may need time to get her head around this news herself before it is shared with her peer group. I do however think that the teacher and the SENCO should be made aware of this news.

 

Cat

[Lizziesfolks]

All, thanks for your input and suggestions

 

We will speak to School/Senco after the whitsun holidays as this is when we have the next appointment and take it from there

 

 

Chris

[Lizziesfolks]

All

 

We had the ADOS test it was about 45 minutes long, and we are going back to go through the report in a couple of weeks,but that they would send us a copy of the they have sent to GP with result.

This letter was received yesterday and it states that DD does indeed have "Aspergers Syndrome".

 

So now we have a diagnosis the question is what should we expect to happen now, with regards School and will this help us in our Annual Statement review as this is our Transition review to Secondary school

 

We have decided not to tell the children or parents just the school is to be advised and finally at what age should we tell DD of her condition ??

 

Thanks again

 

Chris

[Tally]

Hi Chris,

 

You should probably post this question in a new thread in the Education forum.

 

Personally, I think you should tell your daughter as soon as possible. You do need to give yourself some time to come to terms with the idea yourselves first, but she may be wondering why she has had to go to all these appointments, and may be feeling that she is different from the other children. I was only diagnosed with AS as an adult, and it was a big relief to understand why I struggled with so many things.

 

There are some books especially written to help explain about AS to your child.

[Lizziesfolks]

Tally

 

Thanks for the quick response and i will post it on the education forum

[Janey]

Hi Chris,

 

I told my son about his ASD diagnosis at the age of 9. I gave myself a few months to come to terms with the diagnosis and to find out as much as I could about autism during which I discovered some research that most adults that found out later in life about their dx would have preferred to have known earlier while at school. It's really difficult to know what the right thing is to do, but when I told Toby he was very matter of fact and quite happy about his dx. I used The Blue Bottle Mystery by Kathy Hoopmann to help explain his dx.

 

I too am now struggling with the do we tell the rest of the class question. Bullying is becomming quite a big issue and also some parents have told their children to stay away from Toby which I find really upsetting. I agree with Flora telling the class needs to be done sensitively and professionally.

 

Janey

[Lizziesfolks]

Janey

 

Thanks for that, i will have a look for that book at a later date.

 

As for the telling the children/parents in her class we are not going to bother she only has approx 18 months to go in primary school.

As for the bullying i am sorry that your son is being bullied it can't be nice for either of you .

We are in the same boat as you with regards parents telling there children not to bother with our DD and this isn't helped by the fact that out of 8 girls in DD class 3 of the kids have been told we get the inpression to "STAY AWAY FROM HER SHE IS NAUGHTY AND DIFFERENT" and the rest just ignore her, its painful for me to watch when i taken them to school when i am on holiday from work so people seeing it everyday must be heart breaking.

i wouldn't mind but some of the parents have been told that DD is a bit different than normal kids(before we got a diagnosis) and they think school is on our side,they still hate us all even our 4 year old girl who is in reception with some off there younger kids,which is fun at birthday party's i assure you!!

 

Chris