counselling

[bluefish]

Hi, not sure how I feel It has been sugessted I have some counselling....Not something I would have ever considered as I cope well and although deep down feel very sad that things are the way they are don't see the point in doing the "what if's "in life. Must admit the fight to get statement has really upset me,being delighted when a really negative report drops on the mat thinking "that will really help" then of course realise those things are about by beautiful ds and it is all true.. Anyone been down the counselling road to off load? Would feel a bit guilty talking about my emotions about ds being autistic.. as he is only who he is due to being autistic. but being a single parent of an autistic child wasn't what I thought my future would hold. Although I think in many ways I could not be happier as he is amazing.

But is it healthy to talk about things? I mean I tend to just put best foot forward, smile outwardly (and sob at night lol)ummmm any advice welcome

[jo jones]

please,,please,,take the offer,,,i had group therapy for 2 years and 1-1 counselling for my own depression,,and it helped me loads,,,i also had cbt last year for 6 months which i didnt find useful so some types work for some people and others dont,,the best thing i ever done was go back to work,,i work with people with autism and learning difficulties as i can give something back to people,,i know that if i can put a smile on someones face i have done my job! which i must add i love,,,hope this helps u a little jo <'>

[Kazzen161]

I have had several lots of counselling. One of the best was just going to someone and offloading that weeks trials and tribulations - they are not there to judge, you can say what you want and they will not hold it against you. Once I have had a rant, I feel a lot better!

[Sooze2]

Sorry long reply I get carried away!

 

I had counceling arranged for me by the Parent Support Worker (PIP's) at school at first I was a bit embarrassed but it made all the difference and it was 6 sessions for free! It was at the beginning of this year and I was putting myself though hell feeling guilty about my son's behaviour being all my fault - the GP's told me he was fine and I was just an over anxious parent! I was also rejected by a very good freind who told me he would be better off without me because he was still having meltdowns a 8 - she told all the other parents at school about me falling out with her and I was left with out anyone when I needed them most.

 

Anyway the councelling helped me massively, I learnt that I was making the best decisions for him and I was right to fight for him untill he got help. People started to listen and things got moving whilst I was going through councelling which helped enforce this. I was just one mass of guilt and self loathing because I couldn't stop the way he was behaving and felt I had caused it, I had really dug myself into a black hole but now I am upbeat and not going back to distructive freindship if they are critical instead of supportive of me. I would rather have no one than be surrounded by negativity.

 

So, yes go for it. It may not be for you but its worthing having at least a couple of sessions to see if could help you. You won't know unless you try it out. You may feel upset during the first coulpe of sessions because everything comes pouring out like a tidal wave (In my case) but afterwards the releif is immense, as if someone as released a pressure cooker. I'd recommend it to anyone.

[jo jones]

i agree, made a massive difference to my world and how i saw things,,,, <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

In my experience so far, counselling can complicate things. Been down that route with my son was asked questions like 'what was your pregnancy like?, can we go through your family tree?, was your pregnancy planned?'. Frankly, a lot of the questions asked were an attempt to find fault with me and I simply didn't see the relevance of how any of those questions had any bearing on why my son behaves the way he does on occasions. Personally I think discussing problems with family/friends/organisation like SNIP (Special Needs Information Point), etc is far more uplifting. After sessions, I would leave feeling far worse than when I went in. Guess it depends whom you go to for counselling.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline.

Edited June 6, 2008 by cmuir

[bluefish]

Thankyou for all your replies.

I think I felt as if it was being insinuated that I NEED to talk to someone,but having thought about it I guess I am a little paronoid as I feel our life has been under a microscope for the last year with all the people that have been and are still involved with me and ds.I am a very private person normally and have found all the attension very intrusive(but necessary)Still can't believe I was videoed for Early bird an had to watch it back in a room full of people! I think I am scared of opening the flood gates if you know what I mean, as I have allowed myself very little time to be sad. And as you all know there just seems to one fight after another that has kept me busy. But I was thinking today, after first paediatrician appointment ds's dad dropped off the planet and has not seen his son in a year..so I do feel sad, angry, guilty and maybe telling a stanger that's paid to listen will help? but there is a part of me that feels? I don't know? selfish? Ha Ha I have just read this back and thought.. there's agirl who could do with off loading! And I guess if I don't find it helps I don't have to go! so maybe have nothing to lose!

thanks again.

[elun1]

<'> I've been referred to counselling too. I havent been yet but I'm going to try as I figure it can't hurt. I've been at such a low point recently and think talking to someone could only be a bonus. Like you I've never let myself be too sad and it then went the other way where I can't show any sadness ever which isn't very helpful. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. The way I feel is if you try and dont like it no-one canmake you go back

Elun x