Feel a bit lost

[bluefish]

Hi, I feel a bit lost now I have setteled for final statement of 15 hrs and it says everthing I asked. I have been so busy fighting I suddenly feel at a bit of a loose end now I am not spending my evenings researching early intervention.

So I think I have just realised (or started to accept) that my son is different and it's for life! It is stange when I am fighting it kind of takes my mind off the fact that ds's problems are real.... does that make any sence???? I know there will be many a battle yet to come in order to get him the help he needs for the future but think everything has all been such a fight so far I have not really had time to reflect on the fact my sons life is not going to be what I expected. Does it sound weird that over a year since all this began that I think it is only just sinking in?

[bikemad]

No hun it dont sound wierd im the same it is finally sinking in that my lads life wont be as expected n that it will be full of battles. <'>

[Zosmum]

Sounds perfectly normal to me. Been there, done that, so to speak.

Keep your chin up, keep smiling.

The battles will come and go and you'll battle through them all as we have all have

But you'll do it

All the best <'>

[JsMum]

From other posts Ive read having it all sink in is like the process that someone goes throw in bereavement, go with the feelings, feel it, dont deny it, if you need to cry, then do it, dont hold back, just go with the feeling, the fight has possibly activated the real feelings, before it maybe was holding back but now having had to fight the LEA it has to be described in black and white and when that happens we read it back and WHam it hits you, oh no, thats my boy, the one who is different to his peers, it comes clearer and you start to feel it more, now the fight has ended youve let go, but one thing I had to do with J is remember he is a kid of his own identity, he is a terrific kid, got bags more energy than I could ever have and he is mine, my son, a task I did once was I got the best picture that gave a great reflection of Js face and named loads of great charachteristic that I love that only comes with ASDs, that makes him that bit more special to me, and after I did it, I knew then he will make it, because he is Jay.

 

With you on his side, he will be fine. <'>

Hugs,

JsMum

[Imelda]

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

 

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

 

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

 

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

 

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

 

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

 

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

 

It?s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

 

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

 

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

 

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

 

* * *

 

This story is so true!

[Zosmum]

Hi Imelda

Never looked at it like that before

Kind of makes real sense in a profound way

Thanks for changing my thinking

Maybe this different place we're in isn't so bad after all