Sleep? ( what is that - i have forgotten)

[Julieanne]

I put Jay to bed at 8pm...he always has his tweenies/bob builder/fireman sam videos on and he plays around and then falls asleep around 9.30pm to midnight (lol) so in this time that he is in bed, im clearing up the destruction and generally getting chores done that i cant do when he is awake as he constantly trashes my house.

 

so by the time i have done everything & had the first hot cup of tea of the evening, i fall into bed around 12.30am...i have to read for a few minutes as it relaxes me( and i want just a tiny bit of ''me'' time where im not doing things i have too !!) then i must have dropped off around 1am...jay woke at 1.45am this morning and i have been up with him since....

 

he will not settle once in his room, he shouts, screams, demands to get in with me, so he does, but i have no hope of him settling back to dreamland. ( he is 8 but has mental age of around 3...he is on lower end of the Autistic spectrum, so doesnt understand everything - he also gets really pinchy and starts hitting when he is awake like this)

 

then he starts demanding at the top of his voice that he wants this & that etc etc, so i get up as he is already on his way down the stairs( and cant be left alone for a second) and shouting about going in the garden with his ''orange ball'' so i explain that he cant( i tell him its raining!) then he wakes up my eldest son as jay keeps creeping back upstairs demanding that his brother gets up, so in the end i have to lock my eldest son in his room just so the poor little guy can sleep.

 

he then demands food, more toys, sings and shouts at top of his voice and once again starts trashing my house...im just so exhausted and i have to keep going now for another 14 hours....

 

we tried jay on melatonin but this made him sleepy only for a short while we had same problem...he just seems to survive on very little sleep, but then will scream so loudly if we ever do try to keep him in his room, he would wake the neighbours and i dont fancy falling out with them, i have enough to deal with!!!

 

just wondered if i was alone...does anyone else have this where their child once awake demands to be up like its 9am and in actual fact it is really 2am???

 

its nights like i have just ad where i feel so damn lonely and like the rest of the world is asleep & happy

 

thanks for any replies in advance

 

Julie x

[JsMum]

Defo been there lots and lots of times, for J his anxieties rise at bedtime, its like all his fears, nightmares, night terrors all come to the forefront and he just can not feel safe and setteled, he is resteless, and also demands but usually because he is generally hungry because he hadnt eaten much in the day, J has ADHD too and causes him to be very impulsive and restless and so we concentrated on routines and making sure he eats at regular interval in the day to reduce the hunger panks in the night, J has only just recently come out of co sleeping, it took bags of patents and loads of ignoring the demands and screaming behaviour, I set up a visual step by step routine, he has a extreamly calming bedroom with visual calming effects like lava lamps, bubble lamps, rope lights, he also got a weighted blanket, really worth there weight in gold, he does have melatonin, and it for J it does work if his routine has been stimulating and exhausting for bedtime, keeping the anxiety levels down is crucial too, I stay in his room until he is asleep and if he does get up I return him and stay in his room, we do this all night if we need to, it is torture but over time they get the clear message it is sleep time.

 

Our calming techneeks in the evening are music, arts/crafts, board games, we did a lot about relaxation and breathing and looked at sleep together throw websites and books that have loads of visual pictures, in the early days he got a sticker for every task he did, in the morning if he got more than 6/7 stickers he got a reward until this naturally phased out, he had visual clues to time, like the time timer and he had regular warnings that it was bedtime soon and slowly build it up.

 

 

It was hard, but we persivered, because the sleeping habits where causing so many behavioural difficulties, I was blumin fed up with having no space but the loo basin, and I really wanted my bed, now that is happening, we also have a seperate calm room that we built and this is a fantastic retreat that actually both of use, in there its NO Tvs,console, or anything stimulating, its all sensory and calming and so helps reduce there energy, and gets them in a more calming mood where you can begin to use the stratagies and techneeks.

 

We have a set routine, and a bath is included on regular evenings, just to help get him tired, the melatonin has helped massively too.

 

I would also go back to your doctor and explain his behaviours on a evening too.

 

Good luck, it does take time, it is very hard, we are now in our own beds, in our own rooms and its a much better picture in the mornings/day and his behaviour has much improved too.

 

JsMum

[bjkmummy]

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we are slowly getting into a similar position with joe - we have the melatonim but he refuses to take it - we have the tablets so tried crushing them and putting them in a youghurt but hes wised up to that one!!!!!

 

i really feel for you as its so hard to function on so little sleep. i have no practical advice but hopefully someone else on the forum will come along with some

[JsMum]

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we are slowly getting into a similar position with joe - we have the melatonim but he refuses to take it - we have the tablets so tried crushing them and putting them in a youghurt but hes wised up to that one!!!!!

 

i really feel for you as its so hard to function on so little sleep. i have no practical advice but hopefully someone else on the forum will come along with some

 

Hi, we have fast melts, they taste sweet, and J likes them, they sit on the tounge and melt, that way there is no swallowing, J couldnt take the tablets but the fast melts he can, he actually wants them like sweets, we also have breaks from taking them, he only has them during the week monday to thursday and has breaks at weekends, this breaks the tolerance level, J is ment to take 4mg but is ok on 2mg so it could be that they need to look at dosages.

 

JsMum

[aro]

Been up since 2am as well dd is now asleep on the sofa and I have to go help set up the school fate!

 

We get mania and violence as part of the early waking too. I get my hair pulled and dh gets his face raked or bitten.

 

She is confined to her room by a child gate and due to mobility problems we have to be sure she is safe.

 

We use melatonin but like so many cases it doesn't stop the wakings

 

Sometimes we are late into school and frequently she falls asleep in school (they bought her a flop down bed )

 

I'm pinning my hopes on either her spontaneously out growing it or at least being able to quietly and safely occupy herself so we can sleep!

 

A x

[Flora]

Bill only ever slept between 7pm and 1am. I used to keep a stair gate on his bedroom, not to keep him in but to alert me that he was up because he used to hurl himself against it and crash to the floor, the noise would wake me and then we'd be off! He is still often awake during the night.

 

Julie, sounds like you've got a real handful there. I realise that bad though it was for me for years, not nearly as hard as you seem to have it

 

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