Things that you thought that were real but weren't

[Frangipani]

Hi,

 

I was just listening to this on the radio and it was hilarious listening to some of the stories that came through.

 

Here are a few examples.

 

A man was in a store waiting for his wife who was in a dress shop while his wife was trying a dress on, he bumped into a lady and turned around and apologised, and it turned out to be a mannequin.

 

A man walked out of his bedroom and screamed as if to scare something aware, it was a 5 foot Santa Claus in the house, one Christmas.

 

here is mine,

 

The other day I let my cat out the back as usual, she gave off this loud hiss and scared me, as we both looked, there was a black pair of thongs my daughter left just outside the back siding door, and my cat thought it was a rat, I just couldnt stop laughing.

 

Sure you have some funny stories.

 

 

Have a think, have a go.

 

Oh another one, was a woman was in a night club, she had one too many drinks to have, she bumped into a mirror thinking it was another person, and apologised, and it was no one but herself

 

Have a think, have a go.

 

[Tally]

I once worked with a woman who could not see clearly because she had cataracts. She was a friendly person, and just said hello to everyone, rather than risk offending a friend by ignoring them. One day she said hello to a cardboard cutout and then commented, "how rude, didn't even reply."

[baddad]

Things i thought were real that weren't?

 

The Tooth Fairy

Father Christmas

The Monster Under The Bed...

 

When I was little I used to dream i found money in puddles, and in the dreams i would always hide it under my pillow. In the morning I would wake up and think I really had put money under my pillow

 

[Flora]

I still won't eat the pointy end of a banana because when I was a kid someone told me that you would get worms if you ate that bit! Even though I know this is rubbish I still snap off the pointy bit and throw it away

 

Also, I used to believe if you dropped food on the ground you could get rid of the germs by holding it up to heaven and saying 'God bless germs'

 

Flo'

[jo jones]

ha ha

[Kathryn]

When I was a child I used to love coconuts - it was fun to break open a whole one with a hammer and eat all the fragments. Once a friend and I did this in the garden and ran round collecting all the the bits of white flesh which were spread around the lawn. I saw this especially big white lump in the grass and thought I was really lucky to find such a nice bit, so I popped it straight in my mouth before my friend could steal it.

 

It was a piece of soap.

 

Can taste it to this day.

 

K x

[baddad]

When I was a child I used to love coconuts - it was fun to break open a whole one with a hammer and eat all the fragments. Once a friend and I did this in the garden and ran round collecting all the the bits of white flesh which were spread around the lawn. I saw this especially big white lump in the grass and thought I was really lucky to find such a nice bit, so I popped it straight in my mouth before my friend could steal it.

 

It was a piece of soap.

 

Can taste it to this day.

 

K x

 

That could have been so much worse... do you remember when dogs used to eat lots of bones...

 

[pearl]

Is that why theres no white dog poo now then? I've always wondered.

 

While we are on a poo theme, I can remember trailing behind my dad on a walk across a field aged about 6, him away with the fairies as usual taking no notice of what I was up to. I firmly believed that the crunchy things which were soft under the crust that I was stepping on were bits of cardboard ... such a satisfying experience I trod on every one .... then moaned to my dad I was tired, & he gave me a piggyback .... my mum's face when we returned home was a sight to behold Dad still hadnt noticed even tho his jacket was covered in it.

[sadie]

That's nothing!!! Sorry ,the poo thread and this IS real unfortunately..As a toddler my DD always played a game as I changed her nappy.The gist of the game was to get that hand into the soiled nappy and into mums mouth as quick as poss!!

 

she was good at that game and very quick off the mark...she scored numerous goals ..Urggggghhhh. Soap in your mouth..That's nothing compared to the other!!

[baddad]

Is that why theres no white dog poo now then? I've always wondered.

 

That's it! I bet you thought they were 'poodle's poos' like i did... sadly, it was just any old mutt with a high calcium diet!

 

When i was little I went sea fishing with my dad (he used to fish, we were designated a rod to watch which was 'ours' - we weren't allowed withing ten foot of it though!)... he caught a Dab and started reeling it in. I saw a brownish, flatish thing being reeled up the side of the pier and said " Wow! You've caught a slice of toast!"... took me a while to live that one down

[Tally]

It's because they used to put bonemeal in dog food as a source of calcium, but now there are purer sources of calcium which the dog's body can absorb better. Another reason is the new laws that mean that dog poo is rarely around long enough to turn white.

[Thompsons]

I have one.. I was at the zoo a couple of weeks ago. In the distance (I thought) I saw a Mama hippo with her baby. I was so excited! And then was informed that it was just a big photograph on a board Haha.

[Mumble]

I still won't eat the pointy end of a banana because when I was a kid someone told me that you would get worms if you ate that bit! Even though I know this is rubbish I still snap off the pointy bit and throw it away

Don't be silly. You don't get worms from eating the pointy bit of a banana; you get banana trees growing out of your ears and in rare cases it can be toxic

[pearl]

It's because they used to put bonemeal in dog food as a source of calcium, but now there are purer sources of calcium which the dog's body can absorb better. Another reason is the new laws that mean that dog poo is rarely around long enough to turn white.

 

I once tried using it as chalk for hopscotch

[Flora]

I've just remembered another one.

 

When my Grandad used to babysit for me when I was little he used to bring a packet of jelly babies to share. He wouldn't let me have the black ones because he said they were 'hot' It was years later when I was fishing around in a bag of jelly babies for a black or red one that the penny dropped..... He wanted the black ones for himself because they taste better Selfish Grandad

 

Flo'

[bid]

My mother had a whole range of food that was either too 'rich' or too 'ningy' for children.

 

It included walnut whips (too rich) and Old Jamaican chocolate (too ningy)!!

 

 

Boho

[Frangipani]

What about the fisherman's ruler. It was this big.

 

10cm is really 100cm

 

1 metre is really 2 - 5 metres

 

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/c...res/pjun60l.jpg

 

and everytime they tell the story the fish or shark gets bigger.

 

I tried to find a picture of one we gave to a friend once who always exaggerated.

[pearl]

We used to spend every New Year at my Nana's, and on New Year's Eve my Dad would say to me, if you go down the Bullring (town centre) you will see a man with as many noses on his face as there are days in this year.

 

For years I thought the multi-nosed man was some strange Cheshire phenomenon.

Then I finally listened properly.

[baddad]

My mum told me the gas meter was a money box.

Does that count

[Kathryn]

We used to spend every New Year at my Nana's, and on New Year's Eve my Dad would say to me, if you go down the Bullring (town centre) you will see a man with as many noses on his face as there are days in this year.

 

For years I thought the multi-nosed man was some strange Cheshire phenomenon.

Then I finally listened properly.

 

My family used to say something similar and I also used to wonder about the many nosed man. Would you believe Pearl, I've only just got the joke after reading your post.Obviously I didn't listen properly either!

 

K x