hospital chart bloopers

[Sallya]

sorry, but i'm bored on my nightshift, please excuse no punctuation or caps..................this is lying around the ward and made me laugh.......

 

1. the patient refused autopsy.

 

2.patient left white blood cells at another hospital.

 

3.she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night

 

4.patient has chest pain if she lies onher side for over a year.

 

5.on the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

 

6.the patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

 

7.discharge status.alive but without permission

 

8.healthyappearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

 

9.she is numb from her toes down.

 

10.while in er, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 

11. she stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

 

12. patient has 2 teenaege children but no other abnormalities.

 

13.occaisional, constant infrequent headaches.

 

14 the pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

s

xxx

Edited July 23, 2008 by Sallya

[pearl]

needed a good laugh

 

If you change the age & sex of no.8 thats a perfect description of my mum!

[Flora]

very funny.

 

I remember from my nurse training (about a hundred years ago!) a girl in my group doing a care plan for assessment.... part of it read:

 

 

Problem: Breathing........... Observation: Patient breathing.

 

Flo' X

[Mumble]

:lol: Thanks, I needed a laugh this morning.

[dooday24]

that really made me chuckle thanku i really needed it

 

love donnaxx

[ScienceGeek]

hahahahaha! Needed that chuckle