dooday24 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 sorry to have a moan but im really p@@@@d off with my inlaws... about 2 and a half yrs ago we had a falling out overa car..... and his mum said he had blown the head gasgic on purpose... i said too her how do u think he could do that... and she started getting irate so i walked out...... i would like to say that even before all this happened they didnt really have much to do with us or the grandchildren!!!! well his dad wrote a letter a few months back saying really horrible things about me.... all of which r not true i have tried everything to keep in contact with them.... they only live about 10 miles from us... and i then wrote them a letter back saying i was sorry if i had offended anyone and told them a few home truths about not having anytime 4 there grandchildren not coming to see them in hosp not even wen reece was in icu........ and not even a phonecall and also saying that my sister in laws baby was more inportant than my children!!!!!! he is just over a yr old and i havnt seen him since he was 4 months old!!!!!! so his mum hasnt spoken to us in over 2 and a half yrs and the last time his dad spoke to us was in sept....... i spoke to his brother on facebook 2nite and he said i need to apologise to her for telling her to f@@@ o@@...... which i never said........ im just soooo peeved as my family r sooo close and his can b like that.... i really dont know wat else to do as im not apologising 4 something i aint done...... and they also said some nasty things about my family which im not happy about but i do feel sorry for the other half and the children..... i even said they could come and visit and id go out.......... anybody got any ideas would b greatfully received love donnaxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 24, 2008 By the sounds of it, your children are not missing out on anything worth having. I think they have made their feelings plain and there is not really any hope that you will be able to have a good relationship now. Even if they did patch things up with your husband, they are going to keep telling everyone lies about you. What does your husband think about it all? Does he feel upset about not seeing them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 yes he gets very upset and angry about it but supports me 100% hes not happy with the way they have treated us all love donnaxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 24, 2008 <'> donna <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kellyanne Report post Posted July 25, 2008 Haven't got any ideas sorry <'> But I'm in a similar situation MIL and I had a huge row about 2.5yrs ago and haven't spoken since, she disowned DH and wouldn't see H. We had a letter come through just before christmas last year from solicitors saying she was taking us to court to gain access to H. DH was adamant that she wouldn't have anything to do with him so he went to mediation with her and basically told her so a few weeks after that another letter came through saying that she has decided not to go to court as she admitted ion mediation that the solicitors hd told her that she didn't have a hope. This is a woman who when the mediator said 'perhaps there is a family gathering that you could all go to in the near future' daid there wasn't knowing full well that DH brother was getting married that saturday Sorry rant over with Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted July 25, 2008 (edited) so his mum hasnt spoken to us in over 2 and a half yrs and the last time his dad spoke to us was in sept....... i spoke to his brother on facebook 2nite and he said i need to apologise to her for telling her to f@@@ o@@...... which i never said........ im just soooo peeved as my family r sooo close and his can b like that.... i really dont know wat else to do as im not apologising 4 something i aint done...... and they also said some nasty things about my family which im not happy about but i do feel sorry for the other half and the children..... i even said they could come and visit and id go out.......... anybody got any ideas would b greatfully received love donnaxxxxx Hey Donna Sounds like you have a few options here, if you asking for 'ideas', like a doctor once said to me about my family quote: suggested moving to another country , or moving very far away, but neither suited me, so I changed my phone numbers and didnt give them to them. I feel totally at peace with my decision. My sister has always been a cow and stirred the pot in my family, its a jealousy thing. She had a few self esteem issues and a chip on her shoulder the size of a pineapple, she was much older than me and she thought she ruled the roost and everyone in it. Families, mine fits that saying, you can choose your friends but you cant choose you family. I hope you find some peace too Donna <'> . It really isnt fair that people manipulate people like this. My family is full of control freaks my step mother, my sister, my sister in law, my mother, my two aunts. I found I got on well with all my cousins male and female and found the rest gossips and 'fork tongues'. I recently advised that they had a voo doo doll with my name on it and were giving me a good stabbing whenever they felt like it, I sent my mother a letter advising her I was going to buy them all a new voodoo doll of me as I imagined the current one was ripped to shreds. I am mud because I found out the identity of my true biological father. I discovered they tried to manipulate the truth saying it was lies. My mother just lost a daughter. and two grandchildren. I don't have any feelings for any of them anymore. I am just so numb I don't care anymore. I feel free by leaving them all behind. A day at a time still. But I am okay and so are my kids. So I am in the bad bad books. and couldn't give a toss about what they say about me anymore. They can rip each other apart and kill each other for all I care, as long as they leave me alone. I am the victim here according to my counsellor, the way they have handled this is totally selfish and disgusting, but my kids and cousins agree with me, its their loss. Sorry turned into a bit or a rant too. I am cool Take care hun, life eh. Love Fran xx <'> <'> <'> Edited July 25, 2008 by Frangipani Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted July 25, 2008 mmmm I have no suggestions but look after your own and your kids interests first!! Some people would say "lifes too short for fallings out" etc but its not worth the added stress!! Just think of the stress the letters and facebook contact caused!! Imagine it would be worse with face to face or phone. Im probably not best person for advice as i fell out with and cut off from my whole family 8 years ago and only recently was forcebly made to have contact with my twin brother by my half sister from USA who tracked me down!!!! Its not good especially if the people you fall out with are "powerful" or "respected" within the family as they can say what they want to other family members and use co-ercion to get other family members to stop talking to you. Its not good either when they use nasty tactics! My grandma who half bought me up was heavily dependant on my guardians whom i fell out with and i ended up cutting myself off from her because to maintain contact would jepordise the support she had, and its support i could not provide her myself with my career at the time!! I even had to remove my guardians and family from my Navy's Next of Kin lists because the guardians were hassling the Naval Personnel Family Services saying i was a mess etc and it got me into trouble at work!!! It got my promotion delayed by 3 months as i was under "character and leadership" warning because of family problems!!!!! mmmm havent really given you any advice but i kind of know how you feel. <'> >< <'> >< <'> :robbie: :robbie: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted July 25, 2008 donna i dont think you should apologise either,you didnt tell her to f off so dont say sorry,youve tried to make your peace but sometimes things go too far or people are just too nasty to accept an apology,let them get on with it,their loss me and my sister have been struggling to get on for years but ive finally given up and i feel so much calmer and happier that ive made that decision oh yeah don pm me your facebook profile so i can add you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted July 26, 2008 thanx everyone i know i cant do anything else but it still hurts too know that the children r missing out on there grandparents.. i wouldnt care if i never see them again but the children r now asking why grandad hasnt been to see them they never ask after seans mum as she never really had much contact with them,,, but seans dad had the most contact even though it wasnt wat i would say much if you know wat i mean....... i dunno i just cant understand how u can disown yr child and his children... even if they dont like me.... well thanx again everyone love donnaxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
