AS hubby. Nasty? or AS?

[Cat]

Mummy we are fortunate in that both of our son so far accept the diagnosis. Of course we still have puberty to come with the youngest so everything could change. I can really identify with what I call a 'none' answer to a question. Usually three days after asking a question like 'what's wrong' and being told 'nothing' I get the real answer. Of course three days on I am often left scratching my head as to what the original question was in connection to

 

Cat

[Nic m]

Thank you mumble, i shall try that later, nic.

Cat my daughter does that too, with the three days later thing, it never fails to stump me, i am getting better at working it out though.

Now though that life is calm(fingers crossed) it has been while since that has happened.

 

N x

[pookie170]

Oo, Cat, my lad does that, particularly after a meltdown. He said when it (the meltdown) happens, he can't explain it because its like there's big black scribbles in his head and he can't think through this to get the words out. But when he's calm again and had time to chew over things, he often announces, apropos of nothing, the reason for his difficulties/outburst a day or so ago. Really throws me!

[billabong]

Hi Mummy and all

 

I've not logged in for a few days and have completely missed this thread until now; shame, as I can really relate to some of what you're saying, Mummy, having an AS (not DX) husband. I'm really impressed at the sound and supportive advice that everyone gives - you are such an eloquent, intelligent, wise lot. .

 

It seems to me that we're all pretty much contradictory characters, whether AS or not. My DH is about as upright and honest as you can get, yet sometimes I'm sure that was a little white lie I heard to let himself off the hook. I think this happens when, like your husband, he's committed to something and then takes on board the reality of what the decision means, and a) doesn't want to be appear 'wrong' and/or doesn't want to engage in potential conflict. As a 'highly sensitive' NT (with noticeable similarities when it comes to over-stimulation - but that's another topic), I can tangle myself up in knots when I've committed to something I wish I hadn't because I know it'll exhaust me; wish I could be as nonchalant as the DHs in getting out of something. So, to stop waffling, my thoughts are that it's not done out of meanness but because of not understanding or applying the rules. And, as DH says, the goalposts keep moving so how's he meant to work out what the rules are? We all need reminding of those from time to time!

 

Billabong