Sensory Seeking

[Mumble]

I'm not sure this is going to make any sense, but I'll have a go.

 

A lot of the literature on ASDs talks about sensory seeking and sensory avoidance. I have always thought myself to be very (overly) sensory avoidant - avoiding loud noises, bright lights, being touched and not sensory seeking at all (although I do have some stims and meltdown behaviours that might be thought to be that I suppose), but I'm wondering if this is actually an explanation for what I'm experiencing.

 

My temperature regulation just doesn't work - in particular I don't feel the cold (although I do get hot/cold as anyone would and have the effects of being too cold/hot without knowing what that is); for instance I have to ask people if I should put a jumper on or rely on just doing what the majority of people seem to be doing. However, I have found that at the extremes, I can feel temperature and I like the fact that I can feel something, I'm not sure why, I suppose it's as if I feel more in control of my body if I can feel it - not sure that makes sense.

 

So today, first thing this morning in a torrential rainstorm I went swimming outside in an unheated pool - at the temperature the water was, the safe swimming time is about 20 minutes - I got out two and a half hours later - but despite the fact that my toes were actually starting to turn blue (shouldn't have bothered trying to get the blue nail polish off yesterday ) I felt calmer than I have in a long time because I could feel all of me - also by pushing myself to swim further and faster, the fact that it caused pain in my knees and elsewhere I felt as a positive because again, I could actually feel something. So, is this sensory seeking - is that how it would be defined? And how does that work alongside being sensory avoidant most of the time - you'd think the two would cancel each other out and just make me 'normal', wouldn't you?

[TheNeil]

I understand what you're saying.

 

I have issues with certain sounds, certain materials, physical contact and often think that my internal thermostat is totally out of whack (some days I don't feel the cold, some days I'm acutely aware of it. When it comes to heat though - can't deal with it). I also get what you're saying about pushing yourself to extremes to actually feel things.

 

When I run, I often run further and faster than I should, feeling totally exhausted but refusing to give up (my running partner has always said that no matter how far we've run and no matter how wrecked I look, I just won't stop...if I do then he knows that I'm in serious trouble). It hurts at times (dear God does it hurt) but the fact that I can feel something means that I almost know that I'm alive - when I'm injured I sometimes push myself just to feel the pain. This was even more apparent when I was self-harming - it hurts, it's wrong...but it's sensory stimulation of some kind and it means that I'm connected to the world (despite the damage that it does)(I am not advocating self-harming by the way).

 

With AS being a developmental neurological disorder, it's understandable that nearly every aspect of what goes into and comes out of brains could be affected and this is demonstrated perfectly in conditions such as synesthesia where the sensations and responses to physical stimulae can be totally messed up (e.g. smelling 'colours'). The fact that, as Aspies, we sometimes have what would be considered 'unusual' responses to inputs is kind of understandable - our brains are wired up ever so slightly differently

[smiley]

Sounds familiar with me too.

 

I've spoken before about my odd take on my mind and body (slight understatement!), i feel as if my mind and body are two very, very separate things. Each movement i need to think about (with the exception of dancing, swimming, treadmill, repetitive physical movement / stims ...etc... maybe why we crave it so much?) - I'm ridiculously clumsy for this reason! I have quite pronounced synesthesia - which i find, makes it all worse .

 

I get the same 'buzz' now from deep meditation (hippy alert! ), using deep breathing techniques and focusing on each part of the body in turn.

 

It 'centers' me if that makes sense......... makes me feel whole.

 

Donna Williams describes all this much better than i can . I'll see if i can find a linkyplink.

[KateBall]

I was puzzled why my ds was sensory avoiding sometimes but sensory seeking other times. Then I read a book called (I think) "the out of sync child" and it was fascinating explaining that some children are over sensitive to some things others under sensitive to other things and some children are a bit of both in all sorts of different ways. See if you can get hold of the book Mumble it might help you to make sense of some things for you. Then again we have just had an OT report on my ds and some of his difficulties in movement are to do with proprioception - body awareness (or lack of it). Have you been tested for this. Have you had any help from an OT?

[warrenpenalver]

So today, first thing this morning in a torrential rainstorm I went swimming outside in an unheated pool - at the temperature the water was, the safe swimming time is about 20 minutes - I got out two and a half hours later - but despite the fact that my toes were actually starting to turn blue (shouldn't have bothered trying to get the blue nail polish off yesterday )

Do you feel shivering??? and if so in a "normal" way or just as an involuntary movement thats inconvenient/annoying??? I tend to not feel hot or cold on most days despite extremes of temperature yet on other days i seem really sensitive to temperature. For example I used to spend a lot of time in very extreme cold on the bridge of the submarine and after 2 or 3 hours i would go below and when out of the wet clothing would find most of my toes and fingers did not work for a while not to mention that most my skin would be waxy. Most people would be in pain from early stages of hypothermia as they warm up but not me unless i jump in a hot shower!!

 

It hurts at times (dear God does it hurt) but the fact that I can feel something means that I almost know that I'm alive - when I'm injured I sometimes push myself just to feel the pain.

That is scarily similar to my old approach to exercise!!!