Starting School

[wasuup]

My 4 year old starts mainstream reception school in September and I am now concerned if they will cope with him or not after reading various stories of other parents experiences, as you do.

His speech and language skills are not very good. Expressively he is quiet and there is no 2 way conversation, although he can label things or repeat phrases (sometimes a little too often and sometimes he can swear repeatedly). Any conversation that is initiated by him revolves round Mario/Sonic and makes no sense.

Socially at pre school he seemed to keep himself to himself and didn't join in unless the activities were adult led.

In the park he shouts "no no go away people" if anyone comes near him while he is on equipment.

He likes to lick things at the moment-mirrors is favourite!

His toileting is very hit and miss, somedays he can be fantastic but he was late training and was afraid of the toilet and he sometimes regresses and the fear returns.

He can be quite resistant if he doesn't want to do something or for example if he has new shoes but mostly he is very smiley and seemingly happy.

We are in the process of seeing everyone, just waiting but that won't be until school has started.

Should I tell the school anything and if so what do I say without seeming to be to full on when he hasn't a diagnosis.

Any advice welcome.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I'd personally be upfront and provide an accurate mini-report detailing your child's difficulties, the fact you're currently going through the diagnostic process, etc. That way, measures should be put in place to receive your child and ensure the right level of support irrespective of a diagnosis. In Scotland (excuse my ignorance, but I'm assuming the same in England), Educational Psychologists are normally assigned to assess a child's needs in school. S/he should then report back to a relevant colleague (Neighbourhood Support Coordinator) who is responsible for allocating funding to the school for support.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline.

[bid]

I remember when mine started school we had to fill in a form for the school nurse, which covered any difficulties, referrals, etc, so you could also explain your worries there too.

 

Actually, the school nurse was fantastic when DS was at primary school, and for years she used to ring me regularly just to see how I was doing!

 

Good luck, and hope it all goes as smoothly as poss <'>

 

Bid

[wasuup]

Thank you for replying.

My oldest daughter has Selective Mutism and anxieties (now diagnosed) but until she was diagnosed the school would not do anything to support her. She had a really difficult time at school and refused. Bravely and with a change of teacher and now with support from a new EP (the 1st one didn't have a clue which didn't help matters with school)she is going to try again at this school, and Parent Partnership, Clinical Psych and SALT. This is the same school my 4 year old is due to go to so I don't know if letting them know before hand will make a difference or not. I want to do what is best for him but don't know what that is with this school, as I have lost faith in them, and I don't want to have to go through all that I have been through with my daughter again. I guess I am best to let them know for my sons sake if nothing else.

Edited August 25, 2008 by wasuup

[wasuup]

I remember when mine started school we had to fill in a form for the school nurse, which covered any difficulties, referrals, etc, so you could also explain your worries there too.

 

Actually, the school nurse was fantastic when DS was at primary school, and for years she used to ring me regularly just to see how I was doing!

 

Good luck, and hope it all goes as smoothly as poss <'>

 

Bid

 

I do know the school nurse due to my daughters difficulties-good idea. Thank you

[jlp]

My 4 year old is due to start in September and currently being assessed. He does soil sometimes and I prewarned his new teacher - while not looking overjoyed they were ok about it apart from to say they might need to ring me to come and clean him if he should have an accident. Apart from that I have sent them a copy of a report nursery wrote detailing his problems.

 

I think that's all I can do, when we return I will let them know that he's now having a formal assessment and an ADOS which wasn't known before the end of term.

 

There will probably be a wide range of children starting mainstream schools in September as lots of children aren't diagnosed so early and are picked up (hopefully!) as they start their formal education.

 

I also recall from ds#1 starting (diagnosed in the November of Recpetion year) that school weren't too keen to have him full time until they had to (the term after his 5th birthday). Ds#2 starts full time the day after his 5th birthday so this won't be an issue.

[wasuup]

My 4 year old is due to start in September and currently being assessed. He does soil sometimes and I prewarned his new teacher - while not looking overjoyed they were ok about it apart from to say they might need to ring me to come and clean him if he should have an accident. Apart from that I have sent them a copy of a report nursery wrote detailing his problems.

 

I think that's all I can do, when we return I will let them know that he's now having a formal assessment and an ADOS which wasn't known before the end of term.

 

There will probably be a wide range of children starting mainstream schools in September as lots of children aren't diagnosed so early and are picked up (hopefully!) as they start their formal education.

 

I also recall from ds#1 starting (diagnosed in the November of Recpetion year) that school weren't too keen to have him full time until they had to (the term after his 5th birthday). Ds#2 starts full time the day after his 5th birthday so this won't be an issue.

 

Thanks jlp that is handy to know.

[bjkmummy]

ive had several meetings with the school so they are aware of joes 'issues' although he too is undiagnosed. the holidays have quite clearly highlighted to us as parents the extent of joes problems. he has start to soil again - done it every day this week - not sure if its due to the impending change - i intend to take a bag of spare clothes into school for him. joe will turn 5 in the next week or so so nothing much school can do to stop him going full time. last year they had a little boy in reception and as he wasnt 5 until the june they made him part time only but from this term he wil have to be full time. im hoping that at school joe doesnt cope and thats such a horrible thing to say or want but i know its the only way he will get the help. up to this point everyone just keeps saying 'wait until he starts school' well its happening tomorrow - as a parent i have done everything i can and can do no more so it really is going to be a case of seeing what the next few weeks bring just waiting for those fateful words 'can we have a word please?'

[wasuup]

My son is a June baby so it will be interesting to see if that is an option. I guess it will depend on how he is when he gets there. As well as the soiling issue he struggles to dress and undress himself still (dyspraxia was mentioned at the last check) and can be quite hyper at times. Hopefully we should know more shortly I guess. I know what you mean about hoping that they won't cope because that seems the only option to get them the support they may need. With going through what I have with my daughter at least I know and am already in contact with parent partnership and EP's so that is something. Good luck to Joe and jlp's boy for starting school and thank you.

[jlp]

Thank you Wasuup! I'm excited, he's 5 at the beginning of September and very ready to start learning but he wouldn't have been ready to start last year so I'm glad he just missed the deadline.

 

Going part time might be an option - legally they don't have to be fulltime till the term after the 5th birthday and our first school actively wanted it for ds#1. This is a different scholl but the head did say that there's only a short induction time (half days) of a week but if parents felt their child wan't ready to go full time then this could be extended.

 

Has he been to the school nursery?

[wasuup]

Hi jlp

 

He went to a pre-school who didn't bother to tell me (until the end of last term) that he was obsessed with the school computer & played alone and didn't go into groups or initiate conversation until I asked them more detailed questions. Then all of sudden they tried to interact with him more and suggested to me right at the end of last term that he had some symptoms they thought of mild autism. He can read all the words required right up to the year 5 lists and can reel of the timetables so in many ways it wouldn't really matter if he only went part time.

I left him today and didn't remind him about the toilet just to see but unfortunately he had an accident.

He starts straight in full time but the class is only quite small so thats a bonus.

Mentioned to MIL about what we thought his difficulties were tonight as he has been spinning, walking about in circles and standing on his head so much there that she was asking us if he had ADHD. "How come he knows all his ABC but won't talk to me" she asked. She agreed that there was something not quite right and seemed to understand the basics that we told her. So that was positive.

Roll on next week......

 

eek <'>

[wasuup]

Well we had the appointment with paed today. He says his concerns are aspergers (because he is bright and can read), speech and language communication difficulty (the severity of the aspergers depends on the SALT assessment results apparently) and dyspraxia. He will write to the SENco at school and will work with school depending on what his difficulties are there and what specialist help he needs. So I will see if I can speak to the SENco tonight when I pick the older children up. Ds doesn't start full time until Monday.

[DMM]

Hi, Are they saying he could have aspergers and speech and language difficulties? Just wondered as we've only just been referred and were thinking along the lines of aspergers, but our school doc told me that she's looking at autism but rules out aspergers as my boy has speech probs. I'm confused now

[wasuup]

Hi, Are they saying he could have aspergers and speech and language difficulties? Just wondered as we've only just been referred and were thinking along the lines of aspergers, but our school doc told me that she's looking at autism but rules out aspergers as my boy has speech probs. I'm confused now

 

So am I!

 

They are saying that because he can read (since he was 2)that he has aspergers and the severity of his aspergers depends on the severity of his speech difficulties. He has difficulties with communication and language rather than actually pronouncing words, if that makes a difference I don't know? I don't know if dyspraxia has a bearing on this? Anyway we still need to see the SALT and the OT, I get the impression that it is an evidence gathering process. We will just have to see what everyone else says. He said that he wants to assess all his needs and meet them, to do his best for my ds and will work with school so no matter what the eventual label is he will be supported.

 

I know what you mean though I got the impression from reading posts on here that speech difficulties & bright child meant HFA rather than aspergers?

[DMM]

It's all so complicated isn't it??? It's pronouncing things that mine has a prob with, and was a very late speaker. In saying that, he could read road signs clearly before he could hold a conversation> Dyspraxia has also been mentioned at my appointment. we have to wait now for speech therapy and have a 6 month wait to see OT then 9 months for the ppsyciatric unit. Not sure what to expect but time will tell. Just wish we'd got here sooner, he's 10 now. Oh well, we'll get there. More stress cos i'm away to Greece 2moro and he'll be home with dad. Hope he'll be ok and not start stressing out at school!!!

Hope all goes well at shool.

[wasuup]

It's all so complicated isn't it??? It's pronouncing things that mine has a prob with, and was a very late speaker. In saying that, he could read road signs clearly before he could hold a conversation> Dyspraxia has also been mentioned at my appointment. we have to wait now for speech therapy and have a 6 month wait to see OT then 9 months for the ppsyciatric unit. Not sure what to expect but time will tell. Just wish we'd got here sooner, he's 10 now. Oh well, we'll get there. More stress cos i'm away to Greece 2moro and he'll be home with dad. Hope he'll be ok and not start stressing out at school!!!

Hope all goes well at shool.

 

Thanks!

Ds Didn't start putting words together until he was 3 and sometimes it can be difficult to understand him a little, conversations don't happen. I know what you mean about road signs, just driving along and suddenly he will read a sign (or 3) out of the blue. Fortunately I know the SALT so she has told me when her next screening appointment session is just need to wait for it to go via the admin section of the SALT department. OT appointments are like gold dust I believe.

Enjoy Greece!! Lucky thing Hope everything goes ok at school for your Ds too!