I'm worried

[Cariad]

T's behaviour is awful, we already have a SW and someone who comes every 2 weeks to help us with him and he goesout in the 6 weeks 4 times a week, but now it's at crisis point. He has already tried to strangle his sister and now has said he'll get a knife and kill us.. I'm now going to ask for the intensive team to come in, we get no sleep and everyday is a meltdown and we are covered in bruises.

 

I know it's the 6 weeks but I'm waiting for someone to be seriously injured..anyone in the same position?

[Zosmum]

This sounds soooo familiar

Z is always beating her little sister and has her round the throat regularly. She has come at us all at one point or another with a large kitchen knife.

At present we have no help with her and just have to do our best to stop her from seriously hurting one of us.

Last week she stamped on her sisters head ( Z is 12 and her sister is 5 ) Really scary but we got through it.

Don't know what to suggest that might help,

I just try to call Z's bluff and tell her to hurry up and get on with it, if she wants to stab me then do it now. Really scary but usually works. One day it might not work and she'll really do it but so far no major incidents. Could be that it makes it "real" rather than an attention thing

[Cariad]

This sounds soooo familiar

Z is always beating her little sister and has her round the throat regularly. She has come at us all at one point or another with a large kitchen knife.

At present we have no help with her and just have to do our best to stop her from seriously hurting one of us.

Last week she stamped on her sisters head ( Z is 12 and her sister is 5 ) Really scary but we got through it.

Don't know what to suggest that might help,

I just try to call Z's bluff and tell her to hurry up and get on with it, if she wants to stab me then do it now. Really scary but usually works. One day it might not work and she'll really do it but so far no major incidents. Could be that it makes it "real" rather than an attention thing

 

Have you got a social worker or anything, the only reason we got help was that I was going to go to the local paper as we were so desperate. The thing is if I call T's bluff he'll probably do it, he has blind rage constantly. The strangling thing was awful, his sister couldn't breathe and she was hysterical, he's also tried to do it to us and his dad. I feel like weeping, or drinking myself to death!

[Cat]

First of all if you have not already make sure that the knives are well out of the reach of the child. We had ours under lock and key for around four years. It probably wont help much if I say that for us it did get better but it did take years to get better.

 

I wonder if SS have offered either of you a safespace? Probably not because they are VERY expensive but they are intended to keep a child safe. They were designed for children and adults with autism and or learning disabilities. While some people might think that putting a child into a spacesafe is cruel it is surely better than the child either hurting themselves of their siblings. Here is a link which might be helpful - please do not remove it mods

http://www.safespaces.co.uk/Downloads/Safe...08_Brochure.pdf

 

I know that SS do fund these tents but you have to push hard.

 

Cat

[Enid]

I have had 2 or 3 periods when my son is like this for weeks at a time, he is the same age as yours and I havnt got a husband!! so have to resort to the neighbours. I have only recently got help, 1 day a week in the holidays 10.30 to 3.30, and had to struggle to get that, I can read the desparation in your posts, and know, really know, how you feel, its a nightmare isnt it and not fair on the other chidren. Is he on medication? if not why not! and have you thought about residential school, perhaps its time. If you read my posts you will see I have gone through what you are going through. We are having a calm period at the moment and I am regaining my strength for the next onslaught!! I know if things get that bad again I WILL have to go down the residential route. take care, pm if you want to ask me anything at all. <'> <'> Enid

[Cariad]

Thanks Cat. They look amazing if it were soundproof it would be wizard as he knows when he bangs and throws things we are on edge as we have not nice neighbours.

 

We have been waiting for SS to help us with T's bedroom, in the end we did it ourselves (with my mum's help) as over a year has gone past and nothing has been done, all we get is "oh I'll get onto some charities now". They said to plaster it and they would sound proof it and get special flooring, so after waiting and waiting with help we got flooring and painted it and plastered it etc.

[Enid]

Hi Cat, they look great! one question, how on earth would you get your raging child in there!!!!! perhaps I would put the other kids in there to keep them safe!!! seriously though they look brill. Enid

[Cariad]

I have had 2 or 3 periods when my son is like this for weeks at a time, he is the same age as yours and I havnt got a husband!! so have to resort to the neighbours. I have only recently got help, 1 day a week in the holidays 10.30 to 3.30, and had to struggle to get that, I can read the desparation in your posts, and know, really know, how you feel, its a nightmare isnt it and not fair on the other chidren. Is he on medication? if not why not! and have you thought about residential school, perhaps its time. If you read my posts you will see I have gone through what you are going through. We are having a calm period at the moment and I am regaining my strength for the next onslaught!! I know if things get that bad again I WILL have to go down the residential route. take care, pm if you want to ask me anything at all. <'> <'> Enid

 

T goes to a school 10 miles away, he is mixed with pupils with behavioural problems which makes him 100% worse even though he's in with the Autism side. They won't take him residential as I've asked before. He is on meds for ADHD and has the top dose which is for his height and weight. I so want to move him to another school but there is nowhere for him to go, it would be a step down and with pupils who are severe in the other choices of schools. In the other schools they just go out on trips and have no education whereas T is bright but has a lot of problems.

[Cat]

Hi Cat, they look great! one question, how on earth would you get your raging child in there!!!!! perhaps I would put the other kids in there to keep them safe!!!

 

I have heard of siblings being the ones who use the safespace and if that is how it works best for a family then why not

 

Cat

[JsMum]

We were in a regular daily struggle with J attacking me, he needed restraining or he would of harmed himself or me, it was sooo difficult, there were many reasons to it back then, and I was not responding properly that met his needs, I use to use a lot of language, as I was told to, but now its pricise and almost robotic but he can not process any information when he is in a rage, so minimul communication so they can absorb what it is you want them to do.

 

I had to ensure I kept all Knives safe, it was just too risky to say go ahead do it, again J would.

 

I had really bad neighbours at the time, and J made even more noise when complaints came throw, until we applied for a safe room, now we have a larger property and he has a sensory room that is all set up for him, we have more space generally, and it has made a massive difference, he has not attacked or needed restraining since April.

 

I really do recommend a safe room or any space that can be converted into a chill out area, we started with a shed in the garden and this still helped though not as much as the sade room in the house, I have researched that psychiatrict Hospitals are now doing safe rooms and de esculation techneeks and so looking at a course similair to conflict resolution may help, build have courses for parents for children with challenging behaviour.

 

I would look into a safe room if your child is at risk of harming others or themselves.

 

JsMum

[Zosmum]

Have you got a social worker or anything, the only reason we got help was that I was going to go to the local paper as we were so desperate. The thing is if I call T's bluff he'll probably do it, he has blind rage constantly. The strangling thing was awful, his sister couldn't breathe and she was hysterical, he's also tried to do it to us and his dad. I feel like weeping, or drinking myself to death!

 

No we don't have a social worker or anything like that

 

How do you get the help?

[Cariad]

No we don't have a social worker or anything like that

 

How do you get the help?

 

Go to your GP and say how desperate you are, we had a special needs health visitor and then when he was 7 it changed to a Social worker as we needed the support (saying that I've tried to get hold of her for 3 days now).

[Zosmum]

Thanks Cariad

 

I'll give it try