Aspergers Help

[longmeadow]

My 9 year old is severely dyslexic, she was diagnosed last year privately. We have always felt that she has other problems, but have never been able to put our finger on what these issues mean. I was talking to the mother of an Aspergers child last night and quite out of the blue she asked if my daughter has Aspergers Syndrome.

 

some of her issues are as follows

 

Hates change

Only plays one on one, if she can't then she goes it alone

Has one friend that she has wrapped her whole world around

hates loud noise

Flies off the handle at the slightest thing

Really bad temper tantrums and mood swings (only when with parents or siblings)

no perception of time

memory is terrible

Prefers to stay at home

Says things to people without realising how hurtful it is but is mortified when she has upset somenone or accidently hurts someone.

 

The above is only a short description of her issues, for instance, we went to South Korea this year, she has been on several occasions, she didn't want to go. We had temper tantrums and she was really upset at the airport. On arriving she didn't want to leave the safety of the Hotel, we had four days of her crying, being moody and holding onto us for dear life, then she eventually settled into a reasonable state.

 

Every term her school goes on a field trip, every term I get the tantrums, screaming and crying because she doesn't want to go or as she puts it, "I am not going".

 

I am finding the situation very upsetting and would like some answers, can anyone advise or give any pointers please as to which way to go. She only seems to lash out etc at home, I think she just stamps her feet and stomps off in the school playground if she can't cope with anything.

[NickyB]

Hello, longmeadow

 

I'm by no means an expert but I think, given the things you describe, it's certainly worth looking into. Have you spoken to the HT or SENCO school - do they have any concerns?

Sometimes, things can seem OK at school, but their anxiety levels are high all day but they manage to 'keep it all together', and then they 'explode' when they get home. (hope that made sense )

 

If the school don't express any concerns, perhaps a visit to your GP may be the thing.

 

There are others on this forum with more experience than me, and I'm sure they will be able to give you other ideas of who can help.

 

I hope you get some answers soon <'>

[longmeadow]

I asked her last night waht she does at school when she is cross, she said mummy my face goes really red.......

I said it is ok to show that you are cross, she said they will shout at me though

 

I really don't think that they would at this new school because they are very keyed up on support for children with problems, maybe this is went on at the old school, I must ask her.

[chris54]

Hi

 

Yes it sounds like it to me.My 8 year old son who is diagnosed ASD/AS has most of the thing you describe.

 

I would defiantly speak to the school about this.

 

It is possible that they are missing the bigger picture because of her dyslexia.

To start with that is what was happening to my son.The bigger picture that is not the dyslexia.

 

Good Luck

 

Chris.

[longmeadow]

Thanks Chris

 

You know how hard it is when you have that intuition that something is not quite right but you can't put your finger, how frustrating and upsetting it is. She sits at the dinner table every night with her knife and fork in the wrong hands struggling to eat, she doesn't seem to get the message that if she puts the knife in her left hand she will find it easier, I have to tell her to swap over.

 

One thing that has dawned on me today, I haven't mentioned it to my husband yet, but she has never said she is hungry, but she always says she has stomach ache, I keep saying to her are you sure that you aren't hungry and she says no my stomach hurts

[chris54]

Hi Longmeadow

 

Snap. Just what my son dose. When he was little it was a real job to get him to eat, he would be crying with "tummy ache" but refuse to eat anything.

Now luckily we have manage to convince him that if he has a tummy ache if he eats something it will go away. That works most of the time. But the draw back is that when he really does have a tummy ache and he eats something, Well I let you imagine the rest.

 

Its only been recently the A has really started to use a Knife and folk properly. He would, still dose sometimes resort to using his fingers, bit messy things like baked beans. He just found it easier than trying to manipulate the k&f.

 

 

On the theme of food they must have been doing something about health eating at school. A announced that he was only going to eat fruit and vegetables between meals. What, I said, no biscuits or sweets, had a think about that, then said "Only fruit and vegetables and biscuits and sweets".

 

Chris.

[bikemad]

She sounds like my ds, he is 9. In fact every reply also sounds like him lol.

[longmeadow]

I am going to speak with the Head Teacher tomorrow, I am also having coffee with the mother who alerted me to this condition. I think after that I will be contacting our GP or advice and further qualified help to get to the bottom of what the real problem is.

[NickyB]

Hope it goes well with HT, GP etc.

 

<'>

[Karen A]

I am going to speak with the Head Teacher tomorrow, I am also having coffee with the mother who alerted me to this condition. I think after that I will be contacting our GP or advice and further qualified help to get to the bottom of what the real problem is.

 

Hi.Schools do vary regarding how keen they are to reffer for further assessment.It may be worth talking to school and the GP.It may help to write down a list of your areas of concern so that you can be clear with the GP.Ask for a refferal to the specialist team in your area who assess ASD.

It is also worth bearing in mind that AS is a spectrum.So some children may have some bits of AS but still not has sufficient difficulties in all areas to fulfil the criteria for a diagnosis.Ben [my DS] will have a clear decision in the next few weeks re AS Dx.It is three years since he was first assessed.Karen.

[longmeadow]

Well I have spoken with the head and her teacher at the new school and they have said that she is a very relaxed and happy child at school and that they think that Aspergers is out of the question although they have said that they will arrange a meeting with the EP when her emergency assessment comes up so that we can discuss the problems that we have at home.

 

Does anyone else have the same problems that the child shows no signs at school, I feel as though I am and the school disbelieve what we go through at home.

 

Last night she had severe ear pain, I wanted to get her to the out of hours doctor at the local hospital, but she was beside herself because she didn't want to go. (new environment), it took us over 1 1/2 hours to persuade her that she really needed help, once she was their and realised she had been before, she was fine. An ear infection was the cause.

 

At the last school, we had the same issues, my husband got so frustrated that he kept saying to her don't take it out on us, take it out on your school, in the end she did and the school could see that we had problems. I don't want to get into this senario again.

 

What can I do

 

I came away feeling as though I was a hyper sensetive mother with nothing more to worry about than a child that was normal in their eyes, we have seven children between us, four living at home, we have never had these kind of problems with any of the other children.

 

I am feeling quite delicate and tearful about the whole situation.

 

I have three friends that work with children or adults with learning difficulties and all three have said that they think that she has problems, from thier own observations at home or in our care, but they can't put thier finger on it either.

[bikemad]

My son's school did everything to deny he had a problem they even sent in a report saying nothing was wrong but they messed up by sending the end of term report to me saying the opposite so I took that to cahms. Schools just dont want to help cos it means more work for them.