Bad parent alert

[Kathryn]

Feel like the worst parent in the world. I've just had a real go at my son and he's in tears.

 

My son managed to lose 2 entire PE kits since he started secondary school two weeks ago. I replaced the first lot on Saturday so he wouldn't be embarrassed by not having everything. Now he's left the second one in a classroom somewhere as well.

 

I just lost it tonight and shouted at him to get his act together.

 

Secondary school is the pits. He never had any problems at primary school. And he's already struggling.

 

K x

[pookie170]

It must be the night for it, Kathryn!

 

So far my youngest has lost a brand new jumper, his new sports bottle, the entire contents of his pencil case AND the replacemnt contents too! To top it all off, the new set of containers I bought to hold fruit or suchlike for his lunch is utterly useless, as he's lost two lids and one bottom part in the space of a fortnight!!

 

So I had a go at him tonight as well and he ended up in tears too.

 

Thing is, I honestly cant afford to replace any more stuff- there's no hours for me this block at college and I'm not entitled to JSA as my OH works full time-for minimum wage, I hasten to add.

What are we meant to do?

 

Does your son get any support at school? Could you make them aware that he's finding things difficult?

 

I had this problem at school too, (and still do, tbh!) but have learned to cope by way of a physical reminder-I tie all my shopping bags together, for instance, so I don't leave one behind. This would work with the drawstring on a kitbag too, I should think.

 

Hope things improve for him- I hated secondary school, it was too big and too different and too chaotic.......I am SO not looking forward to this next year!!!

 

Esther x

[Tally]

Everyone's allowed to lose it once in a while. You wouldn't be human if you didn't.

[Enid]

Mine has already lost brand new school jumper! is it only the boys or are the girls losing stuff as well. I have told mine I will pay for a new one this time, anything else he pays himself. that seem to work with my older son. <'> Enid

[pearl]

Don't be hard on yourself, tis a stressful time for parents and children.

Hope things improve at school <'>

[Flora]

Kathryn

 

That is very frustrating, and of course you're not a bad mum, it would take a saint not to blow over two lost pe kits in that short a time. Ben left his on the bus last week, and that was bad enough.

 

I'm finding the transition really hard.... although Ben isn't! It's the homework. He's got an average of 3 pieces of homework a night and some of it really big projects, and because of his learning difficulties it's really homework for me not him!

 

Flora

[Kathryn]

What's worse is that I said "Even your sister wasn't that bad" and L overheard, so she had a go at me too!

 

Thanks everyone. <'> It seems as though lot of children are struggling with organisation and remembering things. Pookie, my son never needed formal support at primary school and so no one will be looking out for him paricularly. But I think I'm going to have to talk to the form tutor and see if someone can help him. There's a meeting on Wed evening luckily.

 

And I hope to goodness at least one of the PE bags turns up soon!!

 

K x

[pookie170]

Hopefully they'll be able to help, even if it's just by way of getting his teachers to give wee reminders to the class at the end of a lesson, 'Has everyone got all their things? Kitbags and such?'

That way, he wouldn't feel singled out?

[dogfish]

The transition to high school is a blooming nightmare.

 

My boy has lost a kit already, and the homework and organising has totally overwhelmed me, never mind him

 

I wouldn't mind but he has no idea what the homework is or how to do it.

 

A bad parent wouldn't care that they lost it. Sounds like you are doing pretty good to me. It is a hard time for all of the family when one has autism.

[Babylicious]

its hard at the best of times, we've all been there

 

Paris has lost two jumpers and trashed her school shoes already - dont you just love them?

[Kathryn]

Well one of the PE bags turned up in lost property today, so I gave him a Mars Bar as a reward for finding it. (told you I was a bad parent )

 

K x

[Kazzen161]

It can be a good idea to make friends with the reception staff - let them know your son has AS and ask them to keep an eye out for any of his stuff that comes their way.

 

My Twins have lost various things over the past four years, and one of them is quite well organised.

[Kathryn]

Hi Kazzen,

 

My son doesn't have AS although I know this is a common issue for those who do. His sister, who does have a dx, used to lose things regularly at the same school. I think he has definitely inherited the disorganisation gene!

 

Making friends with the reception staff - that's a good idea. The lost property used to be run by parent volunteers when she was there. I wonder if it still is? I might volunteer, if so, then I could retrieve his stuff myself!

 

K x

[joybed]

Marcus lost loads as well when he first started comp. He would leave things on the bus in classrooms. Forget his lunch, homework. his organisation has improved slightly but he still needs remainding and forgot his lunch the other day again, i had to throw the other 2 in the car and race to school. He is such a faddy eater it is not appropriate to say eat a school meal. His main problem at the moment is homework he always remebers just as he is getting into bed or leaving for school that he is on his final warning and will probably get a detention. I always check his diary but he often doesn,t write it down. It drives us mad as he then has a major meltdown at the most awkward times