Why do I have ADHD and Aspergers Mum?

[fiorelli]

We were out for late lunch/ early tea having a pizza as it is my 7yr olds birthday today, when Louis asked me "Why do I have ADHD and Aspergers Mum?"

 

Now, we have never kept the fact that Louis has AS/ADHD from him - or his brothers, and talk to them about it as and when it comes up. However, this question never has. The conversation went along the lines of...

 

L - "Why do I have ...."

Me - "Because you were born with it, It's not anybody's fault"

L - "But why was I born with it?"

Me - "Well, when babies are made, they start up as a ball of cells which divide up and grow into a baby. Sometimes these cells don't grow properly. Sometimes they mean that a person has no arms or legs, sometimes it means that they look a bit different, and sometimes - like you - it means that they have Aspergers, or ADHD, or Autism. There is nothing anyone can do about it. It just means you are different (wrong thing to say!!!!!! I realised as I said it!!! His look also said it all!), It makes you who you are...Just think - if you didn't have ADHD, you wouldn't be able to stay as slim as you are with all you eat! And if you didn't have Aspergers, I doubt you would like Louis Hamilton as much as you do!" - (Right thing to say apparently - big grin from him and no more questions).

 

Have any of your children asked you WHY they have AS/ADHD etc? If so, what did you tell them?

[bikemad]

Yup my lad asks me often n also asks why he had to be born 'odd n a freak' cos thats how he sees himself, he has also said he wishes he was dead cos it would be easier than being how he is which breaks my heart. Tbh I struggle to explain it n just said they beleive his is due to the bad birth n start in life he had combined with it being in his birth dads family.

[**Mia]

My brother would ask the same questions too when he was having a negative cycle. He would cuss and get frustrated but then I ended up having to take tablets for Epilepsy, and other friend had to take insulin for diabete's. Or we had a friend at school who was in a wheel chair. One of my mothers friends is blind and has a guide dog and three children, and married, one of her daughters and I used to be friends but her daughter would feel very negative too because she could see people stare at her mum all the time.

 

Also, my brother and mum tan really well really easily they just have to spend five minutes in the garden and tan but I don't tan at all, everytime I go to the beach I am soo white, so mum lets me get spray tans. Otherwise I just burn.

 

I know when we mention other peoples situations he calms down and doesn't feel half bad. Also his half sister has one blue eye and one hazel eye and she feel very self conscious and wears her hair to cover her eye so he see's no one is perfect, or anyones life is perfect.

[sadie]

Nearest my DD will ever come to that is to make reference to the ASD unit she attends at school. And that's a breakthrough...it used to be totally, implicitly, taboo.