Feeling a bit upset

[pebbs10]

J was arguing with ds1 tonight all be it ds1 started it of with winding him up, but J started to punch and kick ds1 so sent them both to their rooms. J then started to headbutt the door and I managed to get him to stop and settled but told him that he still had to stay in his room for 10 mins which he seemed fine with, so I leave his room and close the door over then all I heard next was him calling me a B**CH, have not said anything to him mainly because it took me by surprise as it's the first time he has ever done that.

 

Do you think I should talk to him about it and ask why he said something like that??

 

Thanks in advance for any advice anyone can give me

 

Anne

[JsMum]

Hi, Im sorry you have had a difficult time, I would talk to him and express how upset you are, that words like what he called you is not nice and you do not want to hear things like those words again, if he is angry express to him that is normal but he can not hurt others, look into exploring some stratagies that help him get his frustrations out in more healthy way, would you call him names that are abusive, No, so you dont except that from him.

 

Hope that today is a better day, <'>

 

JsMum

[Zosmum]

HI

 

We go through this on a daily basis. C(5,NT) has learned exactly how to wind up Z(12 ASD,ADHD,Dyspraxia, Complex Learning Diffs) to the point of complete destruction.

 

It is so hard to know what to do for the best. Z also has to always have the last word, usually as your case I'm a B***H, often much worse.

When she calls me a B***H I bark like a dog. She used to give me strange looks until I explained that a B***H was a female dog.

 

It sometimes(and only sometimes) takes the heat out of the moment

 

Z has a lot of problems with expressive language so as long as she only swears in the house at me or her dad we let it ride as this is one of the only ways she can express herself. We try not to let it happen when we're out in public by trying to explain that somebody else's granny doesn't want to hear that kind of language.

 

Hope things get better for you

 

Zosmum

[dogfish]

Gosh. It usually helps me to know that when my son is telling me he hates me or whatever, that it is not personal.

 

Talk it over with him when he is calm. Best of luck.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I know it can be upsetting, but personally, I'd let it go. Been in similar situations many times with R when he's kicked off and he's generally became very abusive. I try and tackle the initial issue, rather than adding to it or making it about something else. Clearly, being abusive isn't acceptable, but I've found that once R has calmed down or if there's been other occasions when he's been name-calling, I've had more success tackling the sole subject then.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[bikemad]

Yikes..havent got to the name calling yet thank goodness just the mean n nasty comments like he wishes he was dead n im a mean nasty mum etc. <'>

[NickyB]

Hi, Pebbs - I hope you're feeling a bit better today <'>

 

In your situation, I think I'd try to have a quiet word at a time when things are a bit more relaxed. Hopefully it's just a one-off.

 

I've just taken DS2 up to bed. He's refusing to turn off the story on his CD player, and he's just called me a 'maggot' and a 'scab'. He's only 5

I think he's got those words from the story he's litening to, so I'm going to have to remove it from his room - cue more name-calling and hitting

I guess he's probably too young to really understand what he's saying - he's just repeating what he hears. It doesn't make it any easier to take, though

Got to go now - sounds like he's throwing his toys around the room (with a bit of luck, he'll break the offending CD !!!! )

 

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

[dogfish]

Girlchild has just been put to bed. She hates me and is never talking to me again, and she means it. I am the meanest mom in the whole world.