Personal Hygiene

[BuntyB]

Does anyone have any tips on encouraging personal hygiene? One very smelly 12 year old! She does occassionally get in the shower, but forgets to use shampoo or shower gel! Clothes are very dirty, sometimes wears sweatshirts on top of pjs then puts them back on during the day!

I dread to think about underwear. I don't know where it goes because there's never any in teh basket. Can't find any dirties in her room either. Unless she always has the same one on...!!! She's very evasive and defensive if we bring the subject up.

[something_different]

does she 'forget' or does she not want to put clean clothes on?

 

if she forgets visual timetables/social storys may help?

 

like in the shower instructions on how to wash and to use soap and shampoo, otherwise she will prob just stand under the shower and come back out again thinking she is clean as she has been in the shower.

 

Have a laundry basket in her room with instructions of what to put into it?

 

A timetable/check list she can follow when getting dressed? Must be step by step? Take clothes/pyjamas off, take underwear off. Put clean pants on etc etc?

[jb1964]

Hi Shona,

 

My daughters 15 - and was pretty much the same until about 2-3yrs ago - when she started to get more aware - and then this past year she has become more aware again and for the past 3mths she's taking a shower without us having to ask.

 

We had to start off with lots of prompts - she'd have a list of what to do when she got in the shower - and I'd lay out as much as I could to tell her what to do. She also is much better with changing her clothes as well although I still can't get her to bring them down yet they're just littered around her room - but I'm sure we'll get there eventually.

 

To be honest we had to be brutally honest with her as once she started her monthly - it was a nightmare getting her to understand and it took a good 6mths of repeating and repeating it and then she started to respond a little at a time and slowly but surely we've got there.

 

I'm sure your daughter will become more aware soon.

Take care,

 

Jb

 

 

 

 

[ryansmum2]

HI

 

sounds exactly like any other 'normal' teenager

 

dont worry it will come in time

 

just keep reminding her - and when she does do it right tell her how VERY NICE she smells !!

 

perhaps you could buy her some perfume - tell her she's old enough now to have 'grown up perfume'

 

nail varnish / Johnsons powder smells lovely ask her to use it after shower/bath -

 

things like that - and complementing her on how she looks/smells

 

mel xx

[chris54]

Hi

 

Haven't really got an answer other than physical taking the clothes off her back.

 

My step son, now grown up was like that he would wore the same pare of sock for weeks at a time even in bed, never took them off, harley ever bathed or showed, would never use soap. You could smell him coming at 50 yards.

 

Came to a head when he got sent home from work to get a shower, other staff could not put up with the smell any longer.

He now showers every morning and carries a can of deodorant in his pocket.

And he no longer lives at home so we don't have his washing to do.

[harmony]

Just want to empathise, DD 13 Smells like a drain...or worse!! I told her so this A.m, I am her mother I lover her so I felt it was my duty to tell her she stinks. She hasn't washed her hair for a week, her teeth hardly ever see a toothbrush, and she wears the same clothes in the day as she wears to bed, (despite having loads of p.j's) I can't talk underwear.... not nice.

 

Let's hope they grow out of it, otherwise I will need a peg for my nose.....soon!

[Chriscom2]

That sounds a bit like me (I have AS). Well I'm a lot better now. I think it's that you just need to get into the habit. Once I done it for a week I felt I had to do it and didn't like not having a shower. I still have problems with cleaning my teeth and doing washing, but I shower a lot more. Though recently I've been missing showers due to doing other things instead, but I do miss showering.

 

What you should do if reward her for showering everyday for about say a week. If she is good with her personal hygiene for a week then she gets a reward. Be sure for it to be something she really wants. Also try it in steps. First get her to shower properly then get her to wear clean clothes and so on. I know I for one find it hard to change multiple things at once. I know this because I'm living on my own at the moment. Though Aspies seem to have an addictive personality so this can be used to an advantage if used properly. Help her to be somewhat addictive to proper hygiene. Look into classical and operant conditioning. I'm not found of mind control, but this is for a good cause.

 

just keep reminding her - and when she does do it right tell her how VERY NICE she smells !!

Be careful not to make it sound patronising. People don't like that and I think it may be worse with Aspies. Try to make it subtle. Remark about the "unknown" nice smell you smell when she comes into the room and try to not instantly point out her as the cause. Then when she tells you it's because she had a shower then just say "well done" and change the topic. It's best not to make a fuss unless you know they like it.

 

 

[joybed]

M 13 in january is exactly the same will get in the bath when told but has tantrum about bubble baths and needs encouragement to use shower gel some of them he can,t stand the feel of. He is also using the excuse of not wanting chemicals near his skin this is left over from when he was gluten casein free as alot of things are wheat derived and also from me using cloth nappies and only natural products on the littlies. Left an obsession regarding being an eco warrior when it suits him. I bought him reallly nice deodarant and aftershave for christmas it is still in the packaging. Nagging appears to work but drives me mad as i hate to be a nag. He changes his clothes but only because i tell him to but he is never coordinated and looks like a scruffy urchin all the time.

[NobbyNobbs]

how about thinking about some changes that might help make it more comfortable for herto be a bit cleaner? i hate brushing my teeth because the toothpaste tastes too strong, its taken me years of hunting to find one that i'm okay with (store brand kids mint stripe stuff). same with shower stuff, if it smells too strong i wont touch it. perhaps have a look at what's about the house and see if there are particular themes - i get given a gift set of magnolia bath stuff every year... i hate the smell! as for clothes, i wear my clothes, then i sleep in the same tshirt but have different bottoms, then everything goes into the wash (or the big pile on my floor) in the morning. i can't stand sleeping in the pyjama tops because they all feel wrong but obviously need to wear something! clothes for me at least seem to be a real routine thing. when i was younger i was bad at changing them round to be washed but now i have my set route to deal with them and all hell breaks loose if i can't do it, but at least i smell better and i absolutely could not stand using deodorant when i was younger (sadly very young). the roll-ons felt like someone putting honey under my arms. the spray ones felt fine when i finally got my hands on one so that worked out, but again i had to watch the smells a bit.

 

might not be true for others but while i feel annoyed at the time for being nagged i also understand its the only way to learn to do things properly when you have the attention span and avoidance rate i do.

 

[peaches]

Does anyone have any tips on encouraging personal hygiene? One very smelly 12 year old! She does occassionally get in the shower, but forgets to use shampoo or shower gel! Clothes are very dirty, sometimes wears sweatshirts on top of pjs then puts them back on during the day!

I dread to think about underwear. I don't know where it goes because there's never any in teh basket. Can't find any dirties in her room either. Unless she always has the same one on...!!! She's very evasive and defensive if we bring the subject up.

 

I can't offer any solutions, just sympathy. My own (Asperger's) daughter, now 22, was a smelly teen. Her NT older brother was very particular about cleanliness and used to complain about his sister. She did seem to improve as she got older but sometimes she is still BO on legs! We often found soiled or wet pants stuffed down the side of the bed, so maybe you need to find the hiding place.

 

I dont know if your DD has periods yet, but my daughter ignored her first one and I had to ... well help a lot with that sort of thing. We were always finding soiled pants in the laundry bin too, sometimes she didnt wipe her bottom (when in teens) sometimes she didnt bother with sanitary pads etc etc. Sorry if TMI! We didnt know at the time she had Asperger's so we just kept nagging her! I do think getting a boyfriend helped, but he isnt exactly Mr Personal Hygiene himself...

 

Good luck, keep buying the toiletries and supplies and hope they get used!

[Clare63]

My son who is 13 needs reminding all the time just to do the basic's like cleaning his teeth. I will say have you cleaned your teeth? and he'll say "no you never told me too"

 

He too has problems with some toiletries and the feel of them particularly conditioners, says its too slimey and slippery !

 

Clare x x x

[BuntyB]

I dont know if your DD has periods yet, but my daughter ignored her first one and I had to ... well help a lot with that sort of thing. We were always finding soiled pants in the laundry bin too, sometimes she didnt wipe her bottom (when in teens)

 

Yes, we have found soiled pants in the past and I did go on about it, so I wondered if she finds some way of disposing of them! No, she hasn't started periods yet, or at least to my knowledge! She's off to stay at my mum's tomorrow. She's arranged to take her swimming and I know why

Edited October 24, 2008 by Shona

[Chriscom2]

i hate brushing my teeth because the toothpaste tastes too strong, its taken me years of hunting to find one that i'm okay with (store brand kids mint stripe stuff)

A lot of kids tootypaste seems to be low in fluotide (which some people seem to be sensitive) It also has a less stronger taste to make it more desirable to kids. It's a common thing amoung aspies to have hyperactive senses. I myself don't like the taste of toothpaste so I usually have a swig of Ribenna after (bad habit, I know).

 

as for clothes, i wear my clothes, then i sleep in the same tshirt but have different bottoms,

I've got used to nothing. It's the one time I don't have to worry about my clothes and because of my AS I worry a lot. I hardly buy clothes for this reason. I just find they seem uncomfortable after a while so I stop wearing them.

 

and i absolutely could not stand using deodorant when i was younger (sadly very young).

I brought some Lynx recently (I usually use Right Guard and I was shocked about how strong it was. I usually spray quite a bit on me, but with Right Guard it wan't this bad. I'm literally choking after it. Though some are a lot more sensitive. For some it gives them headaches.

[NobbyNobbs]

I've got used to nothing. It's the one time I don't have to worry about my clothes and because of my AS I worry a lot. I hardly buy clothes for this reason. I just find they seem uncomfortable after a while so I stop wearing them.

i dont think my parents would appreciate me trying that one! they check on me through the night to make sure i'm not up to no good. (plus we have young kids in the house who wander into my room randomly) and i figure with the toothpaste anything is better than nothing. i tried all kinds of adult ones, for a while i was okay with an apple and mint one, but then decided it tasted horrible.

 

Shona - i also recommend searching down the side of the bed, under it and in the bottom of wardrobes and drawers for underwear (i was a hider when i was little). i absolutely hated putting my underwear in the washing basket because then people would see it. would your daughter be able to do a wash of her own, even if it only had underwear in it? (wasteful but soooo much better than the smell!)

 

does your daughter like swimming? another common AS thing is sensitivity to wetness, when i'm having a bad day i do a strip-wash instead of shower because then i only have to deal with one part of me being wet at a time. you could suggest that one if it might be a possibility.