Are there too many boards on this forum?

[Suze]

I think this thread is now turning into the type of thread everyone has been referring too and dislikes, wether your autistic or not should,nt matter .But there is a hidden agenda going on here for some people and others are getting dragged along by it,......its a real shame , a big big shame , as a Mod your in a no win situation, other than as a target for some flak.

[Flora]

Some people will never be happy will they? No matter how many concessions or changes the admin and mods make to running the forum, there will always be those who don't like something about it.

 

Flora

[ScienceGeek]

I don't understand all the drama and am finding it quite unsettling. Why do people keep feeling the need to start threads to moan all the time, the threads aren't really achieving anything except for causing a lot of finger pointing. Can people not just be civil to each other?

[Mumble]

in fact anything which is posted on here which the person would think twice about saying in a face to face setting.

I understand what you are saying about coded messages etc. and totally agree, but on the above, if I have understood you correctly, I have to disagree. For me, a lot of what I post on this forum, particularly in asking for advice, is precisely because I can't say it in a face-to-face situation, either because I don't have someone to discuss it with, because I don't know how to discuss it or because I'm terrified of what reaction I'll get from someone thinking I'm stupid for asking. By and large, I can ask on here what I wouldn't ask face-to-face because a)it offers a degree of anonymity and b)other members are more likely to have an understanding than the lay-public of why seemingly trivial issues are difficult.

 

There are many times this forum (well members of this forum) have helped me to understand a situation better or to rehearse/script what to say in a face-to-face situation - in fact it helps to give me a voice in the NT world as I can be more confident about what I am saying.

 

So, for me at least, the very fact that I can say things I wouldn't face-to-face is crucial; if I could say them directly face-to-face I wouldn't need the forum in the same way.

 

[Kathryn]

Mods have always been active members of the forum too - even in the days when nellie was virtually the only one doing it. I don't think anyone would be prepared to do the job on the basis that they couldn't post an opinion - any volunteers?? I drop in every day because I'm interested in the people here and what's going on, not just to keep an eye on things - I suspect my interest in the forum would soon wane if that was all I was doing. What I try to do is post in a different colour if I'm posting as a mod, and I'll try to be more consistent in this, if it helps make the boundaries clearer. We also try not to moderate a thread that we've been actively involved in as members, although with so few of us around it's not always possible to adhere to this.

 

 

Now with mod hat on - (shall I post in red, blue or black I wonder?)

 

This is a constructive discussion mostly, please keep it civil and avoid getting personal. Thanks

 

K x

[bid]

I will have been a member here for 5 years in March...I think probably only Kris, Elefan and Mossgrove have been here longer than me now! (I'm happy to be corrected ) Most people know how the support and advice I received here helped me get Auriel a Statement and a residesi placement. I then went through my own diagnosis, supported again by the forum.

 

I think it's healthy for members to be able to talk openly about their forum...the original post was asking if the format of the forum might need changing. Other posters have expressed their opinions, and I see that the current mods have been happy to accommodate this discussion

 

Bid

Edited November 15, 2008 by bid

[Emum]

I understand what you are saying about coded messages etc. and totally agree, but on the above, if I have understood you correctly, I have to disagree. For me, a lot of what I post on this forum, particularly in asking for advice, is precisely because I can't say it in a face-to-face situation, either because I don't have someone to discuss it with, because I don't know how to discuss it or because I'm terrified of what reaction I'll get from someone thinking I'm stupid for asking. By and large, I can ask on here what I wouldn't ask face-to-face because a)it offers a degree of anonymity and b)other members are more likely to have an understanding than the lay-public of why seemingly trivial issues are difficult.

 

There are many times this forum (well members of this forum) have helped me to understand a situation better or to rehearse/script what to say in a face-to-face situation - in fact it helps to give me a voice in the NT world as I can be more confident about what I am saying.

 

So, for me at least, the very fact that I can say things I wouldn't face-to-face is crucial; if I could say them directly face-to-face I wouldn't need the forum in the same way.

 

Just to clarify Mumble, I did not mean that you shouldn't use the forum to ask for advice or questions that you would find hard to ask face to face. What I did mean was not to make comments about other people, or criticisms of them, which you would not make to that person if they were standing in front of you. Again using a completely hypothetical example (and I hope no one has actually done this) if you wouldn't say to a person face to face "You are a disgusting fat pig with bad breath", then its no less hurtful to post that online. Obviously if you would say that to someone face to face, then maybe a post asking whether that would be acceptable in the NT world might be called for!

[kinky j]

In answer th the qusetion, No. I like the way this forum's laid out, it helps to find what i'm looking for quickly whether that's advice, support or something to take my mind off things.

 

As for the rest, It's none of my business and I'm keeping well clear of it all! I have a lot respect for everyone on this forum regardless of whether they're members or mods.

[baddad]

BUT moderation here has changed and unlike Kris I do NOT believe that a mod on an ASD forum can take off their mods hat whenever they feel like it. Members might indeed set the tone of the forum, although everything that I have read about good moderation says that moderators are the one who should be doing this, but the mods can choose to either inflame or defuse a situation.

 

 

Hi all/Cat -

 

Cat, you really cannot expect mods to sit quietly back 'modding' and lose their rights to post their opinions etc on the forum... They join the forum as members, with questions to ask and advice to offer and opinions to voice and why on earth should they be expected to give that up because they take on 'additional duities'? It makes no sense whatsoever - particularly for a voluntary role.

Say you worked as a volunteer at a charity shop and they asked you to become the 'manager' there, I'm sure you'de feel really pleased and proud of that, yes? What if they then said 'But if you take on the manager's job you're not allowed to talk to the customers only the other staff (unless its to resolve a complaint); you're not allowed to the Christmas party or to join in any of the 'stuff' that the customers enjoy; you're not allowed to have opinions (well you can have them but you can't voice them) and most of all when people complain it is your job to stand there and take it while they beat you with a s****y stick! Now add into that equation. Oh, and company policy is that the customer is always right, If two customers disagree on something, it is your job to ensure that both of them are right, because we've found that our customers do not take very well to 'compromise'. And we run the shop to the customers specifications, not yours, so no matter how strongly you feel that the shop should or shouldn't offer such and such a service the customers will have every right to demand it and to make accusations against you and the rest of the staff team for as long as you take to acquiesce to their demands...

That probably sounds like an exaggeration. It isn't - that's exactly how it feels modding this forum these days. It didn't used to, but you have to go a long way back...

The thing is, the mods feel as passionate about this place, and about their kids, their opinions, their friends as everyone else on the forum does - which is why they do, over and over again, stand there and take everything that's being thrown at them...

 

I'm gonna stop there, but i would like to point out that the last time I looked there were three threads on the boards either having a pop at mods/ex mods/admin, or advising them how they should be doing their job or complaining because they have done their job or complaining because they haven't done their job or complaining because they've done such and such and so and so or have taken this action or not taken that action... And whatever they do do will be wrong, and immediatedly gainsayed, or they re will be one word that they didn't quite get right which is (wilfully?) taken out of context and used for another round of ammunition... Every edit, every deletion, every comment comes under scrutiny, and is 'spun' to imply some 'agenda' or conspiracy or some personal like/dislike...

 

I tell you, it feels absolutely horrible to be piggy in the middle of an argument where BOTH sides are telling you you're 'showing favouritism' to the other and where the views are so polarised that the two factions are never going to see anything but the complete anniahlation of the other as a 'reasonable' conclusion.

 

 

Now, again, please note, I AM NOT a mod. Please do not come back attacking them with things like 'well they shouldn't do it if they don't like it' or suggesting that they are trying to send people on a 'guilt trip'...

 

ah... why am I bothering... spitting in the wind...

 

Kathryn/Tally/Mossgrove: keep up the good work peeps - you're doing a grand job.

 

L&P (as always)

 

BD

[Emum]

This has now gone way off topic, and has turned into a personal battle between factions, which is ironic really, given that the whole point of the thread was to see whether a way could be found to cut down on that.

 

I'd quite like the thread to be closed now to be honest, as I think its highly unlikely anything constructive could come out of it now.

[bid]

I too love this forum, it keeps me sane at night!!! especially when I have had a truly awful time, BUT I have been slighty irritated this week, when wanting to reply to a topic which had been hijacked by what another member called, (cant remember who) "smart alecness" <'> Enid

 

I think this is a fair point.

 

I know for myself that sometimes I can get carried away by my own 'cleverness' or the cut and thrust of an argument

 

This is a timely reminder of how this type of behaviour can negatively impact on others

 

Bid

Edited November 15, 2008 by bid

[bid]

Personally I think the current forum format works well. There are certainly fewer boards than on many other forums.

 

As an ex-mod, I think the active Mod Team of Kathryn, Mossgrove and Tally do a difficult job with great fairness and moreover respect for the members

 

Bid

[aro]

To be honest I think it's up to the individual to find the forum that best fits their needs.

 

I used to spend most of my time on an epilepsy forum when my dx was first dx'ed but as I gained enough info and as her dx evolved I posted less but still look in to see if anything relevant has happened and how other members are faring.

 

I post on two ASD forum and again if I'm being honest I tend to use the other forum as my "support group" (being much smaller ) and visit this one for info and also to see how people are getting on as there are people struggling or doing well and I like to help if I can. But this forum is a big forum and that will mean that little groups evolve and some people are less included than others...this isn't done out of spite it would just be impractical to be buddies with everyone when the membership is so big.

 

Like I said at the beginning I think if you don't feel comfortable with a site's format (and I'm really not aiming this at any one person) then you would be better off looking around to find one with the content/ size/ format etc that you feel secure with.

 

That's my feelings....truly hope I haven't offended any one here as I respect this forum and all the members on it. <'>

 

A x

Edited November 15, 2008 by aro

[bid]

This has now gone way off topic, and has turned into a personal battle between factions, which is ironic really, given that the whole point of the thread was to see whether a way could be found to cut down on that.

 

I'd quite like the thread to be closed now to be honest, as I think its highly unlikely anything constructive could come out of it now.

 

I really hope it isn't closed, as for the most part I think this discussion has been very constructive, and thank you for starting the discussion

 

I also think it's healthy for people to feel they can discuss the modding 'job description' as it were, which I think has been done without any personal attacks.

 

Bid

Edited November 15, 2008 by bid

[Karen A]

Mods have always been active members of the forum too - even in the days when nellie was virtually the only one doing it. I don't think anyone would be prepared to do the job on the basis that they couldn't post an opinion - any volunteers?? I drop in every day because I'm interested in the people here and what's going on, not just to keep an eye on things - I suspect my interest in the forum would soon wane if that was all I was doing. What I try to do is post in a different colour if I'm posting as a mod, and I'll try to be more consistent in this, if it helps make the boundaries clearer. We also try not to moderate a thread that we've been actively involved in as members, although with so few of us around it's not always possible to adhere to this.

 

 

Now with mod hat on - (shall I post in red, blue or black I wonder?)

 

This is a constructive discussion mostly, please keep it civil and avoid getting personal. Thanks

 

K x

 

I don't think you need to give an account of yourself.......my OH is an NHS manager and does not get the stick you are getting. <'> Karen.

 

[Karen A]

I have coppied this post from the seperate thread.On reflection it is better here.As I am no longer a mod....thank goodness.... I cannot merge topics.

The poor souls that have the unfortunate task of moding here can do as they see fit. <'>

Hi.I feel the need to be very very clear.I am not sure whether I am one of the exmods being mentioned on another thread so here goes.

I started moding because I wanted to support the Forum in helping people.I had no wish at all to become embroiled in personal squables.I had never been involved in a Forum and did not know such stuff cropped up on Forum.I did not know much about the pm system at all.

I found that actually moderating involved a lot of sorting out stuff that I did not wish to be part of.

Also we have as a family had a hourendous time...stuff that I mostly do not discuss on Forum as is my right.I do not talk about it because it would not be helpful.

I resigned for personal and family reasons from moderating.....and those reasons only.

I continue to post because I hope that I have a lot of experience to share....without being committed to what is actually a major committment.

Unless anyone has been a moderator here you have no idea how much work it is....purely voluntary....by people who have no agenda but to support the Forum.

I would never ever have been a moderator but not an active poster that was not what I would want to do.

 

 

The current moderators will probably not say just how much work it is....but I can.

If people here keep giving moderators so much stick it is likely that there will be even fewer around doing what is frankly a thankless task.

I can guess that they may well be looking for some new mods soon.....perhaps it might be worth people considering whether they would like the job....countless hours,no pay,expected to be available 24/7 and expect to get shott down in flames at the slightest mistake.

PS don't expect to have a family or other committments unless you don't mind neglecting them.

..........don't all rush to apply at once.

 

I am very happy to remain here posting on Education and elsewhere because that is what I want to do.I never had any other motive.Anyone with a problem with that can walk in my shoes for just a few days at the momment and see how you do. Karen.

Since posting this elsewhere and reading the rest of the thread...I am not so sure about being happy to remain here to be honest.At least in most jobs when you resign people do not still come after you.

 

[Karen A]

The other issue, which I think was touched on in the same post that I referred to earlier, covered this ... I've been a member for a couple of years and have found it invaluable. I've noted that there are occasions when people can get over-sensitive/personal/nasty/etc - posts spiral. However, there have been several occasions when I've been surprised at the way in which one or two mods have conducted themselves - had the last word in a way which has resulted in them being perceived or embroilled them into being equally bitchy). I wonder if mods should moderate but not actively post - I believe this enable them to be urrefutably objective and avoid personal attacks on them. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I feel it's difficult to be objective or be seen to be objective, particularly when there's involvement in a post which spirals and for someone not to take umbridge. It seems that one or two mods have stood down because they've felt they've been unable to be in both camps.

 

Not personal but I know why I stood down and it was nothing to do with being unable to be in two camps.There are not many of us who have stood down....perhaps it is the other three that are being speculated about.

[Lufty]

Dear All

 

This thread was started as a discussion regarding whether we have the right number of discussion areas on this forum.

 

Whilst there was no clear consensus I think the majority of you have suggested we should maintain the status quo which is really useful as it validates the view point of admin and the moderators.

 

Evolution is not always in the interest of everyone as I am sure you can appreciate however we always try to maintain our original ethos of providing a forum for members who are touched by ASD.

 

I believe this thread has served its purpose and would hate that a constructive discussion deteriorates into an "us" and "them" discussion on moderation so I will now close the thread.

 

Thank you for all your comments.

 

 

Lufty