Aspie DD just started periods

[puffin]

I was wondering if anyone out there had any tips or advice to share with me.

 

My DD age 12 AS - has just started periods and is hating the whole idea of wearing pads and refuses to change them without nagging and usually me marching her to the bathroom. I have bought a huge variety of different types of pad - all of them soft and cotton like - but she's hypersensitive and often takes them off if I am not arounds which has meant huge amounts of laundry to cope with.

 

 

 

Today I've kept her off school as she had the dentist anyway - but I don't know what to do about school tomorrow as I'm not sure that she will change the pad by herself. I could call the teacher - but I'm not sure that DD would be happy with that - she goes to an SEN unit where all the other kids and all the staff (both teacher and LSA) are male.

 

Any ideas???

[Moll]

I hate pads and tampons but I can cope with a mooncup would this be a option for your dd? I think they have a .co.uk website there is lots of information I found I needed to remove almost all the stem, but I find it works well. There is also eco sanspro which is cloth pads which you was as you would cloth nappies if you try googling there are lost of different types out there, you may be able to find something she likes that does not rub which is the problem with disposable products.

Edited November 17, 2008 by Moll

[Tally]

Many girls find the whole thing traumatic, and at 12, she is very young. She may well be embarrassed about talking about it with you.

 

Perhaps if you could get her involved with doing the laundry she might understand the importance of wearing the pads.

 

I don't know if you have tried the extra thin type pads, but they might be more comfortable.

 

Maybe she would find a tampon more comfortable if she's prepared to try that. The ones with an applicator are easier to get in the right place (actually very difficult to get in the wrong place). You can also get extra-light ones which are ideal for 'beginners.' The only thing is that they really MUST be changed after 8 hours at most and you have to remember to remove the last one. If she wears one with a pad, she could remove it at lunchtime and it should be enough to get her through the school day.

 

Another possibility is taking the contraceptive pill without breaks to eliminate the periods altogether. I heard there is one especially designed to be taken without breaks, but I can't remember the name of it. There is also something called the "mini pill" which is a lower dose, but you have to remember to take it at the same time every day. There is also an injection which lasts 3 months, but not everyone likes injections. I believe there is also a patch. Your GP can talk you through all the possibilities.

[Moll]

Please do not go down the injection route without carefuly thinking it our and doing research on it, in some cases it can cause massive weight gain I gaind 2 stone in 6 months of having the injection not something you wish in the run up to your wedding (weightgain was directly linked to injection I was a dance student watched every morsal of food I ate and swam and dance daily) there are many similar cases if you look online.

 

Tampons should be worn for only around 6 hours and less in teenagers as they are most suseptable to TSS 8 is the absolute maximum .

 

 

[NobbyNobbs]

i started getting periods at 9. it was horrible, i was absolutely horrified at what was happening and was already being teased for looking different. i hated using pads because they felt funny and i felt like i was going back to wearing nappies, but after a few months i got used to tolerating it. i wouldn't change them at school. because i was in primary school they only had one toilet with a bin and to get there from my classroom i had to walk outside round the back of the school and through the main hall which was against rules. it might be worth working out a route to a suitable toilet for your daughter so she knows exactly what to do. i still hate pads and have moved on to other options with age. i hated that unwrapping anew pad made noise so anyone else in the toilets at the time would know what i was doing. i believe there are now a few brands that claim silent wrappers. if i had to do it again, i would certainly look into any option that stopped it happening altogether. at 12 she's not that young for it these days, but with the problems of AS on top a doctor should be understanding and be able to give you some advice on options.

i wouldn't go down the tampon route because even with the smallest size they may be painful and there is an infection risk if she can't change them regularly.

[something_different]

tampons wld probably feel evem more uncomfortable than pads.

 

pads and periods are new and will take time to get used to.

 

they are uncomfortable to wear so i understand why she takes them off all the time.

 

but all u can do is show her the dirty pants, and that without a pad the blood will go onto her clothes and everyone will see it. not sure if that would bother her or not though.

 

Its unfortunate that the staff in school are male as she will need a lot of support with this, and staff who can keep check on if she is wearing a pad and take her to change it regularly.

 

at home going for a bath could be a nice way to have a break from the pads for a short while at least.

 

sorry not sure if this is helpful.

[peaches]

I was wondering if anyone out there had any tips or advice to share with me.

 

My DD age 12 AS - has just started periods and is hating the whole idea of wearing pads and refuses to change them without nagging and usually me marching her to the bathroom. I have bought a huge variety of different types of pad - all of them soft and cotton like - but she's hypersensitive and often takes them off if I am not arounds which has meant huge amounts of laundry to cope with.

 

 

 

Today I've kept her off school as she had the dentist anyway - but I don't know what to do about school tomorrow as I'm not sure that she will change the pad by herself. I could call the teacher - but I'm not sure that DD would be happy with that - she goes to an SEN unit where all the other kids and all the staff (both teacher and LSA) are male.

 

Any ideas???

 

Sorry, no. My daughter didnt even acknowledge her first period, I had to point it out to her. She did wear pads eventually, but would never wear one when she was due on "just in case" and would never change it at school, only when she got home. She never entertained tampons, when I bought her some for a holiday she said you'd better do it because I dont know what to do. Of course I couldnt, so they never got used. She often forgot to use a pad too and we always had messy pants, and often messy bedsheets. She did get better as she got older though. I think it was a case of getting used to it. I just used to buy " always " as they were the ones she favoured and drop a packet in her room every month. She wouldnt ask for more if she ran out, but I always kept a check and made sure she had ample. She refused to carry spares to school in a make up bag too. I dont know if she is any better at that now.

 

There was a "nurse" at my daughter's school, do they have anything similar?

[oxgirl]

Are there any female members of staff at your DD's school who could take her under her wing, a TA from another class or a kindly dinner lady or someone who could just pop in and support her with it once or twice a day and remind her to change or just be someone she could confide in about it?

 

~ Mel ~

[puffin]

Thanks for all of your replies and advice - it was good to know that this is not an unusual problem for girls. It is not always something that seems to be considered as most books seem to assume Asperger=males

 

I think it's going to take a while to persevere with the pads - she hates blood and the idea of touching it - so I don't think she'll even contemplate a tampon or mooncup at the moment

 

She has sensory issues and doesn't like clothes that are in any way restrictive - she always wears big baggy knickers and jogging bottoms or elasticated skirts - never anthing fitted - so I think that the pads feel different. Hopefully she will (eventually) get used to this. I told her she would have to help with the washing.

 

We've talked to the school and a female LSA from the younger class will help out if needed. The big issue about school is the fear of the boys finding out and teasing her if she has pads in her bag - not easy being the only girl in the class.

 

Well today she came home and said the bleeding has stopped - so one less thing to worry about for another few weeks - hopefully.......

 

 

[Kathryn]

We've talked to the school and a female LSA from the younger class will help out if needed. The big issue about school is the fear of the boys finding out and teasing her if she has pads in her bag - not easy being the only girl in the class.

 

One leading brand of pads comes with a handy little storage tin attached - it's discreet and small enough to slip into the side pocket of a bag and holds a couple of pads. This might be a solution?

 

K x

 

[jb1964]

Hi Puffin,

 

We had a pretty difficult time with our daughter when she started. She was 12 also - and prior to this getting her to wash/bathe was a nightmare in itself. It probably took me around 6 months or so of complete nagging (which I hate doing because she gets so stressed) - asking her every couple of hours if she'd changed her pad (because she can go 12hrs or more without going to the loo) and making sure she was ok before going to bed - and I had to put a towel under the sheet each night because she'd be in a mess in the morning (the pads she prefers is B*dyf*rm - turquoise wrapper as they are so light).

 

She also had very very heavy painful periods and once they started she had them at least every one-two weeks - which meant she wouldn't go to school either from the pain or worry of bleeding everywhere. She's also paranoid about blood as it scares her so we had that phobia as well.

 

We did get more success from a shower than a bath as she could not sit in the bath knowing that she could have blood in the bath with her.

 

GP suggested ibuprofen and paracetamol together - ibuprofen in particular she said helps ease the bleeding (which was news to me at that time!) - and after about 6 weeks or so where she only had about 2 weeks free - the GP together with CAHMS suggested the mini pill - which she has been on since (Loestrin) and thankfully they have regulated them and we time her breaks to coincide with school holidays.

 

Also over this past year - in particular the last 6mths she has become much more self aware of hygiene etc so that has also helped the problem immensely.

 

Hope you daughter starts off gently and copes ok.

 

Take care,

Jb