jan Report post Posted April 13, 2005 Hi there, Sorry but I just need to have a moan and there is no one here to listen! My eldest (who has dx of AS and a statement) got sent home from school (again) this morning supposedly for being rude, unco-operative and for tearing up his work! Apparently, they had used all the strategies that have been agreed (by them) but he would still not settle. (If he is being stroppy, they are supposed to tell him they are leaving him for 10 minutes to give him time to settle, if that does not work, he gets "counselled" by his LSA for 10 minutes, if no improvement, they send him home). Needless to say if the 10 minutes on his own have not worked, then really we are on a hiding to nowhere. They tell me he is manipulating things and trying to shift the blame to everyone else. M tells me his LSA was nagging him, telling him that it was his fault that things at school were so bad for him! M also said that his work got torn because the LSA grabbed it out of M's hand and most worrying of all he tells me the LSA grabbed him by the arm and closed the door on him to prevent him from joining the rest of the class when they went to watch a video on the topic they were covering. The head did not mention any of this and I know that school will deny all of it and tell me it is just M being manipulative and contolling!! I was not there so it is their word against mine. (I did check his arm, there were no marks, although M said it was very red afterwards) He is a bright boy and he does like to be in contol, but I am not sure that he is sophisticated enough to make up such an elaborate tale! This is a mainstream school, I already have him out lunchtimes and two afternoons a week (but have spoken to a very nice man at the LEA who has been very helpful and supportive regarding this and lets just say it is being dealt with!). He has extra tutuition twice a week (paid for by us). He is due to transfer to secondary school in September and I can't wait in one sense, but am petrified too. He has been in manistream since reception and was doing very well. It was only when we moved areas and had to change schools that things went pear shaped!! But a decision is imminent as to whether he stays there any longer!! Sorry to go on and on, but I really needed to offload! This school or more so the Head have caused us an amazing ammount of heartache! Thanks for listening jan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted April 13, 2005 If only mainstream schools could learn to see beyond the behaviour and look for the triggers and the stresses that actually cause them. My son is in mainstream school and it drives me mad when they totally mis interpret what we see clearly as a cry for a help as James being manipulative and disruptive. We were told recently that James has very poor vocal understanding. School suggested we get him assessed by speech and language. Then only a few days later I get a phonecall because he's had a bad day (Red nose day, non uniform day, totally different) and they tell me that they know for a fact that James knows what he's doing because he was heard telling his mates not to tell his dad he'd been in trouble. Well I'm not being funny but in my house it's don't tell Mum, and apparently he was heard saying this to a group of boys on the way out of homework club. Funny as we always pick him up from the club, he's usually on his own and never has he left there alone or with anyone else but us. It was just anther attempt to swing the scales in their direction and pass the blame back to my son rathere to their misinterpretation and mishandling of a situation. They can't tell me he doesn't understand one hand and then lay blame at his feet in another. They interpretted his planner being scribbled over as a show of insolence. It never occured to them that as soon as things started going wrong they started writing detentions and stuff in his book and it very quickly became a very negative tool to James and a reminder of his failures. It makes me so cross at the speed at which the finger of blame is pointed at our kids when clearly to anyone with any understanding of the way our kids think, these behaviours are often as simple as a cry for help. I know how you feel hun, I really do. It's amazing how one minute they are telling us how much our kids struggle and the next they are giving them credit for manipulation and actions that they are not skilled enough to pull off in reality. Ax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted April 13, 2005 Jan, <'> <'> I do sympathise with you. There are schools who truly don't understand and find it difficult to help, and there are schools who refuse to understand or help. I think I know which one you have. I hope you manage to work something out. Nellie xx <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericho Report post Posted April 13, 2005 It sounds like a nightmare, Jan. I hope the LEA deal with the school and their tendency to exclude your son (and it IS exclusion) as soon as humanly possible. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jan Report post Posted April 16, 2005 Thanks guys. It just amazes me how low this person will go to achieve what SHE wants! Does anyone know where the home for the bewildered is. I think I need to check in? Never mind, pass the wine somebody! jan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
