LizK Report post Posted January 16, 2009 I have probably asked this before but it is more of an issue now. DS1 is 7yrs old and at mainstream with fulltime support. He had an expressive and receptive speech delay so once he started speaking properly we were just glad he was speaking. Now he won't shut up! As we get older we have noticed that his social use of speech and understanding of the basic skills of conversation are more apparent and his peers are noticing it more and sometimes look at him as if he's off another planet. Thankfully this goes over DSs head but it won't forever. I can see his difficulties with conversations affecting his ability to socialise and make friends which is tenuous as it is. The things he does -constantly interrupts or talks over you -difficulties with listening and answering back appropriately -struggles to answer questions unless about his current interests -starts talking about his latest obsession or interest at completely random times whenever the thought pops into his head. Often he will start half way through his monologue so you don't even have an idea what he it talking about. HE will do this random talking more when he's anxious or if you ask him something that he doesn't want to talk about or know the answer too -ask the same questions over and over and over and over again even though he knows the answer. I know this is because he likes the predictability of it but it drives me nuts after a while. His peers seem to have less tolerance of this too I know these difficulties are part and parcel of his autism and that there is no magic wand that will take them away. I don't want to cause him anxiety by forcing him to do things his brain aint wired for. But he is a sociable soul and I think if this continues unchecked he is going to struggle at he gets older and will cause him unhappiness. Our NHS SALT input is fairly minimal, allegedly getting less and she doesn't see pragmatic language skills as being part of her remit He has a social skills group at school and he does well there but he cannot translate those skills into everyday life I'm wondering how you helped your child with to develop conversation skills? Can you recommend any books or resources that might help. I feel we really need to go back to basics and teach him th most basic rules of conversation that he has not instinctively picked up but I really don't know where to begin nor how to do it without causing him undue stress Thanks Lx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wasuup Report post Posted January 16, 2009 I have probably asked this before but it is more of an issue now. DS1 is 7yrs old and at mainstream with fulltime support. He had an expressive and receptive speech delay so once he started speaking properly we were just glad he was speaking. Now he won't shut up! As we get older we have noticed that his social use of speech and understanding of the basic skills of conversation are more apparent and his peers are noticing it more and sometimes look at him as if he's off another planet. Thankfully this goes over DSs head but it won't forever. I can see his difficulties with conversations affecting his ability to socialise and make friends which is tenuous as it is. The things he does -constantly interrupts or talks over you -difficulties with listening and answering back appropriately -struggles to answer questions unless about his current interests -starts talking about his latest obsession or interest at completely random times whenever the thought pops into his head. Often he will start half way through his monologue so you don't even have an idea what he it talking about. HE will do this random talking more when he's anxious or if you ask him something that he doesn't want to talk about or know the answer too -ask the same questions over and over and over and over again even though he knows the answer. I know this is because he likes the predictability of it but it drives me nuts after a while. His peers seem to have less tolerance of this too I know these difficulties are part and parcel of his autism and that there is no magic wand that will take them away. I don't want to cause him anxiety by forcing him to do things his brain aint wired for. But he is a sociable soul and I think if this continues unchecked he is going to struggle at he gets older and will cause him unhappiness. Our NHS SALT input is fairly minimal, allegedly getting less and she doesn't see pragmatic language skills as being part of her remit He has a social skills group at school and he does well there but he cannot translate those skills into everyday life I'm wondering how you helped your child with to develop conversation skills? Can you recommend any books or resources that might help. I feel we really need to go back to basics and teach him th most basic rules of conversation that he has not instinctively picked up but I really don't know where to begin nor how to do it without causing him undue stress Thanks Lx Sounds like my 4 year old, most of the time it is difficult to get any conversation out of him and lately he has got a little worse with this especially if he is distracted by the world around him. He too is happy enough at the moment, he is a good looking child and just smiles at everyone and everything, he has older siblings in school so all their friends loved him as a baby and he is quite popular. As he is only 4 still other children haven't noticed too much. I try to join in his conversations and his play games to start with although I don't know what he did at school that day via him, how he bumped his head, why he got a sticker.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charliesmomuk Report post Posted January 20, 2009 You could be describing my son EXACTLY there LizK.. seriously..every single sentence IS my son. The bad news is he is 11.5 and nothing has improved..if anything it has got far worse as puberty hit and his anxiety levels have risen.....don't ask me why but it has and as he's awfully overgrown for his age (5 ft 6 and growing by the minute and thin as a rail poor kid) people find his social skills more alarming than they did a few years ago, when it was still kind of sweet in a way (in a sickly 'aw bless him ' kind of a way. We didn't realize til relatively late , just how UNable Charlie is to have a normal 2 way conversation. After a speech delay (grunt only til he was nearly 4 then just a few key words) we were delighted that he was talking. At first he'd repetitively ask strangers how tall they were and how old (major obsession) then it evolved into 'are you old.. (no pause for reply)..you ARE old you will die with a tube up your nose??' (cos grandad did... Now he monolgues every one on his current topic..TV listings. He has NO idea that no-one else is interested. He's in a special school and he even bores the less able kids in his class! The ONLY thing we have been able to do is to set rules..absolute rules. NO approaching people in the shops. Do not touch. That's about it..we haven't found a way to help Charlie understand that other people don't share his interests, or even how to start a simple conversation..is brain just doesn't do that. The sad thing is that the adults at his special school are lovely and everyone tries to help him chat...but the outside world isn't as kind. I would be very interested in other people's tips and tricks for dealing with the social skills like these because it really is quite a big problem! Juliex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chris54 Report post Posted January 20, 2009 My son is 8 just the same. He will ask the same question, that doesn't really have an answer, over and over and get cross when I don't give the answer he thinks I should. And rabbit on and on about robots and automatic door and going to other planets and so on and so on. But at the same he will sometimes actually listen to what you have to say and ask questions that make sense, at the moment he wants to know how electricity is made and how it works, amongst other things. By the time he goes to bed Iv got ear ache. Am waiting with bated breath for any advice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted January 20, 2009 sounds exactly like u r talking about reece hes 8 wud like some advice too love donnaxxxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 21, 2009 I feel we really need to go back to basics and teach him th most basic rules of conversation that he has not instinctively picked up Hi Liz, I think this is exactly right. Where to start is not such an easy thing . . . I don't know of any resources, but the NAS website might list some useful books. Writing your own social stories could help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
