Advise Please

[vannie]

Hi,

 

I have been reading through the posts and would like a just a bit of advice if possible.

 

H is 9 years old. I had a problem with bullying at school and kept approaching school asking them to do something re my child was coming home crying, bed wetting, hiding and refusing to eat and attacking 12 year old sister saying he was very unhappy at school. No parent contact after school unless I approached them.

 

The school then contacted me out of the blue asking if I would come in have a chat.

 

Hurray I thought finally, but it wasn't what I expected. They said that H was asked to do a written assessment, he refused blank saying he did not know what to write, and sit there with arms folded sobbing saying he just couldn't think of anything. They said this had happened a couple of times(I had not been advised). They wanted to have him assessed for ASD. NO not my child this is all due to bullying. Anyway I was in denial. I thought I would go through with this just to prove them wrong. Anyway I had a meeting at school with special needs teacher his form tutor and a gentleman from pupil support services.

 

He suggested H be referred to CAMHs and be assessed. Since that meeting in April last year he has had an initial meeting with Ed Psy at CAMH's tier two, no follow up as yet, as they said he would benefit from counselling. He has met with a paediatrician and she referred him to the Complex Communication Diagnostic Service.

 

In the meantime I have started back at full time work and placed him with a child minder a friend who I could trust to let me know of any worries and who H has known for many years. He had no problem with mixing with the other children at the child minders and things seemed to improve, he was generally happy at home and school.

 

I have had no contact from anyone, then an incident at school one of the boys had been calling him names I approached school teacher who was new to the school and told me she was unaware H had been referred. I was very surprised. Anyway she dealt with the bullies and it seemed fine again. Just before Xmas he had a written assessment again he sat there arms folded, refused to do it. Not a thing from school, H unhappy, so again contacted school she told me what had occurred and H had been told off. She told me he has to do these assessments, but I said you know he has a problem this part of why school referred him. She said she thought it was just for communication.

 

Anyway after xmas sent him back to school had been happy over holidays. Things starting to deteriate again. Even child minder noticing difference. He came home from school one evening hid in one of her wardrobes, and then layed curled in a ball on her bed - no explanation. He changed at home again moody, talking of suicide, wishing he was dead. This went on for over a week not wanting to eat. I went to the school spoke to special needs teacher she would get in touch with pupil support service and arranged meeting and suggested that I talk to local Autistic society for support. I said why what do you think might be wrong she suggested high functioning Aspergers. No information has been given to me or anything explained to me in form of leaflets.

 

I met with pupil SS and class teacher, he discussed coping strategies. I said not happy with school and was thinking of taking H to another school, he said it would be the worst thing to do for H at this moment in time. He would urgently contact CAMHs. I told him H very down and depressed and taking him to GP. GP said he would push CAMH's to see H.

 

I received a call from child minder next day who had not collected H as my husband had day off and he collected him.

She told me that a younger child who she had looked after had been concerned for H as her teacher had shouted at h and made him cry. Nothing said to husband when collecting him. Then a another parent contacted me asking me the same question. Could not get much out of H but is seems he was asked to write a assessment on half a page and could only write two lines, so was sent to another classroom where the teacher shouted "dont you treat other staff like this"etc. A third person has also commented on this event.

 

I am absolutely shocked. I cant get in touch with school because of weekend - snow. I felt teacher didn't think anything wrong with Harry as she said he was just stubborn! Hopefully school is open tomorrow but what do I say? I find it hard myself expressing how I feel. If they do suspect ASD what should school be doing? What rights do I have? Can I just pull him from school? I know he hasn't been diagnosed but does he sound that he may have ASD? The more I read on this forum the more I can relate to. Can a child be so happy one day and so depressed the next?

 

Please help.

 

Thanks.

[pumpkinpie]

I think its obvious the school is failing your child. They sound clueless. Not only that they are bullying him by their incompetence.

Have you spoken to ipsea for some advice.

If this was me I would write a letter of complaint detailing what youve said and send it to the head, chair of governors and head of education at your local council.

I would also write and request a statutory assessment asap

www.ipsea.org.uk

[Enid]

I would also request/insist upon your son being assessed for a "statement" it seems so many times on this forum that we struggle on with the school for years, just believing our children to be difficult/stubborn/naughty at school, and as they get older their difficulties/differences become more obvious both to ourselves and others, I have found this forum a godsend, like you I joined when I was at my wits end, hope you find some answers. <'> Enid

[vannie]

Thanks for replying, what does a statutory assessment entail? And will they give me a statement without diagnosis?

Edited February 3, 2009 by vannie

[Suze]

I think I,d push the camhs referral along , asap, and explain the current difficulties your child is having.I,d also suggest a meeting with head, senco and class teacher and detail to them your concerns and worries, ask for minutes to be taken.Is your child on the sen register, school action or action+?

..........there is a list of links on the education page that will explain statementing better than I can.best wishes suzex.

[vannie]

Thanks I will look at that link, I don't even know if he is sen or action + the school haven't explained this to me.

[skye]

My motto is squeaky wheel gets the grease! (Is this just my wacky americaness coming out, hopefully it is a saying here to and you all don't just think I am nuts!!) I would ring anybody and everybody you can until someone listens and they move things along. You cannot get a statement until the diagnosis has been made. I am currently in this same LIMBO nightmare. At least you have started the process, things will get better. Good Luck and welcome to the forum!