**Dee** Report post Posted February 10, 2009 Hi, I live in Norfolk with my husband and 2 children. My daughter is 6 and my son 10. My son was diagnosed with dyspraxia when he was 4 after a struggle and with aspergers at 7 after a bigger struggle. We have had a lot of trouble with the school my son was at until he reached year 3 when a new teacher was employed by the school who was brilliant. My son had her for 2 years and although he had some behaviour issues they were dealt with really well and I could relax a little while he was at school. He now has a new teacher in year 5 and we are having more difficulties which seem to be incresing. I feel really low about it at the moment as it seems something happens everyday. My son argues a lot with the teachers and adults generally in the school. He really struggles socially. He struggles to not argue his point to thwe point where he is given a detention which then doesn't always stop. He has now been told that the first time he is rude to an adult in the school he must apologise, the second a break time detention, the third dinner attention and then after school detention. they are also taking about suspension which I don't think will have an effect. The adults in the school apart from his 1:1 don't take any responsiblity for the inciidences. His 1;1 is told she is too soft on him and often feel torn between personal and professional. He get 25 hours a week, but I don't think his 1:1 is always with him. I probaly haven;'t exp[lained this very well, but it gives a general view . Anyhow I am off to have nose round the site. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted February 10, 2009 heya i was diagnosed with dyspraxia before aspergers but un like your son was bit later on in my teens beofre anyone noticed and picked by 'accident' through my MH probs i found school so hard and tough every level socially,emotionally etc and found teachers didnt really want to understand and support it can be so difficult! is your son statemented...? i personally belive more professional teaching is needed for teachers and other staff to help them realise what it means having an kind of SEN child esp AS/ASD can be more demanding and challenging but i iknow the negative treatment i recieved at school will always haunt me even at mainstream college i struggle along to break free from the past events and situations and start again -you not alone in this fight/ battle in education maybe u need BIG meeting/review of your son complex and indivdual needs with behavioural problems porbably because he frustrated,isolated and anooyed at himself being in situation in first place maybe what needs to happen is more ideas and stragies to help him get by and cope with out acting out crying out for help and attention maybe need to raise his troubles again with school work as team together and see what you can do to improve it! maybe look into ODD,ADHD,CD ??? other related conditions to AS! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skye Report post Posted February 10, 2009 (edited) Hi Dee, Welcome to the forum. I was just going to say that my daughter who is only 5 has a huge issue with adults. She treats everyone as they are on the same level. Some adults can't seem to get over it or feel personally offended that a child has dared to speak to them in such a way. Even teachers and people who are aware of her AS. One friend has always had an issue about the fact that Libby never showed her respect on some issues but still always said please and thank you. It is horrible that they are talking about exclusion. The schools seem to try so hard to keep kids mainstream. They need to make allowances and try some things themselves to avoid confrontation. Edited February 10, 2009 by skye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted February 10, 2009 Hello, and welcome to the forum. It sounds like your son maybe does not realise that other people see him as rude, and that his LSA is not stepping in early enough when he starts saying things that the teacher will think is rude. Social Stories might be a useful tool for helping him understand how others view the things he says. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kimdim Report post Posted February 10, 2009 (edited) Hi and welcome to the forum Dee. My son Callum has dyspraxia he is 12 and a half we are currently waiting for him to be assessed again as we know that there is 'something else' there. Edited February 10, 2009 by Kimdim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
**Dee** Report post Posted February 10, 2009 Thank you for the welcomes. Skye my son does aften see everyone at the same level. The main exception at school is the head. Smiley1590 My son is statemented. He gets 25 hours a week, although I am not convinced this is used efficeiently. It was really interesting to read how you feel/felt. Tally I am in the same mind as you on this one. Most of the inciences happen because he is saying his honest view at the time which often comes across as rude. They then expect him to apologise which is often reluctant or refuses to do. The incident then tends to get bigger. I don't think his LA steps in quick enough, but I don't think this is always due to her. she has been told she is too soft on my son. She has children with ASD, so can see it from both sides, but I think she is a bit torn at times. I thin one of the difficulties He know he should tell the truth, si he does even if it is not appropriate at the time. Also he struggles to let go Social stories didn't work well with him, so we are in the process of adapting social stories either iin poems of plays. Kimdim. Good luuck in your son' s assessment. It was the same with our son after and before his diagnosis of dyspraxia. We knew something was there, but didn't know what. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted February 10, 2009 Hellooo Ive not read the other replies but my son (adhd/asd) is very argumentitive with all the teachers at his school especially the ones who aren't his regular teacher, there were 2 incidences just today! They deal with him very well mainly because CHAM's have been in and given them guidelines on how to deal with this because it is part of how his condition comes out for him. Have CHAM's been in for you? I can ask mine to talk to them if I think things need to dealt with differently. Also Parent Partnership brought our Local Autism Outreach lady in to speek to the school and observe him aswell. The problem we have with our boy is that if he loses a break time etc his behaviour for the rest of the day and at home will be terrible because his routine has been changed and he can't handle it. He also desperately needs to get time to let off steam at lunch time and break time so if he's kept in he goes off the wall! Is your boy the same? I am pretty sure he is not punished in that way, in a recent ed psyc observation she said that "school deal with him in an unconfruntational way because he responds very negatively to critisism" My son doesn't have a statement yet but the wheels are in motion and things are getting harder to deal with at school so hopefully he will get it. If I were you I would be pushing to get Autism outreach and CHAM's in there to observe him and to tell the teachers how to deal with your son. His TA sounds very nice though. Have you spoken the parent partnership people, some schools have one at school all the time or you could look up your local office online. Hope this helps a bit. xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted February 11, 2009 Sorry, just to add. Are the school putting the pressure on the kids to acheive more at the moment, our kids had tests last week and this used to stress my son. He copes better than he did with it since I told him the tests show the Government how good the teachers are and are not about the kids - he liked that and isn't bothered by them now! Maybe they start to put the pressure on a bit more once they reach year 5 and he is finding it all a bit hard to sit and concentrate etc etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted February 11, 2009 Hi Dee Welcome to the Forum. Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted February 11, 2009 Hello Dee and welcome My son, who is 5, has behaviour problems at school, and I certainly know what you mean about something happening every day. My heart sinks every time the phone rings Nicky <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
**Dee** Report post Posted February 11, 2009 Thank you for the replies. Sooze 2. That is a great help have been out all morning but will look them up today. Head caught me this morning and asked for a meeting tonight. Dreading it. Will start a thread in Education. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mauneen Report post Posted February 14, 2009 Hi, I live in Norfolk with my husband and 2 children. My daughter is 6 and my son 10. My son was diagnosed with dyspraxia when he was 4 after a struggle and with aspergers at 7 after a bigger struggle. We have had a lot of trouble with the school my son was at until he reached year 3 when a new teacher was employed by the school who was brilliant. My son had her for 2 years and although he had some behaviour issues they were dealt with really well and I could relax a little while he was at school. He now has a new teacher in year 5 and we are having more difficulties which seem to be incresing. I feel really low about it at the moment as it seems something happens everyday. My son argues a lot with the teachers and adults generally in the school. He really struggles socially. He struggles to not argue his point to thwe point where he is given a detention which then doesn't always stop. He has now been told that the first time he is rude to an adult in the school he must apologise, the second a break time detention, the third dinner attention and then after school detention. they are also taking about suspension which I don't think will have an effect. The adults in the school apart from his 1:1 don't take any responsiblity for the inciidences. His 1;1 is told she is too soft on him and often feel torn between personal and professional. He get 25 hours a week, but I don't think his 1:1 is always with him. I probaly haven;'t exp[lained this very well, but it gives a general view . Anyhow I am off to have nose round the site. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mauneen Report post Posted February 14, 2009 Hiya! My name is Mary and I'm 25 years old. Like your son I have Asperger's Syndrome and I found school a major strugglle socially. Your son will experience problems at school as some of the other kids don't know the difference there. I was bullied badly at school myself and I can understand the position your son is in. Since I was diagnosed during my postgraduate year in college, I have been seeing a training facilitator who has been providing me with social skillls, personal development, and other important skills. I would firmly recommend a training facilitator for your son as she would be able to point out to him and reach out to him as well as helping him to cope like mine has done with me. I have been in with a service in dublin called the Adult asperger's/autism service in Sheaf House. I'm sure if you contact your doctor and enquire about a service like this for children your son's age you might get plenty of them which would help. Also there are excellent support groups out there for people with asperger's and great guides for parents - On the internet and there is a particular book on the condition by Tony Attwood which I have been reading myself. From my experience growing up with Asperger's, Don't be too tough on your son if he plays up or misbehaves as sometimes he mightn't be aware of his behaviour like I wasn't or he wouldn't be deliberate Best of Luck with your son Mary Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
