jon79 Report post Posted March 4, 2009 Has anyone used these sites before,or similar. would they be ok to starting place to practice talking meeting with people. I am about 15 years behind in actual reality for my age maybe a little more. I am 29 now. Nothing has happened with finding life special partner woman yet in everyday passage of time.. I think it would be best if i give true exact profile so no misinterpreatations expecations from other viewers. hey know what level i am at and offer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted March 4, 2009 I've never used anything like that before, but I think they're probably not a good way to start meeting people. If you try it, I think it's important to present your best side, but honestly. A better way to meet people might be to join some kind of group or club associated with something that interests you. That way you will have something in common, and get the opportunity to get to know someone before you consider a relationship with them. There's nothing wrong in being single at 29. Many people haven't found a partner by that time either. You still have lots of time! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
something_different Report post Posted March 4, 2009 i've not used those sites but my experiences of meetingppl from online have not been successful. that could just be me tho. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jon79 Report post Posted March 4, 2009 I've never used anything like that before, but I think they're probably not a good way to start meeting people. If you try it, I think it's important to present your best side, but honestly. A better way to meet people might be to join some kind of group or club associated with something that interests you. That way you will have something in common, and get the opportunity to get to know someone before you consider a relationship with them. There's nothing wrong in being single at 29. Many people haven't found a partner by that time either. You still have lots of time! I mean i havent even had one practice partner yet in my life. Im starting from zero. I need someone to mentor me and practice me on regular basis so can get to sufficient base level to start off myself properly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted March 5, 2009 I was a late starter too when it came to relationships, being in my twenties before I had my first girlfriend. I think you will only get hurt if you try and find a short cut. If you find the right person it won't matter that you are inexperienced physically and nothing that could happen through a site like that will help you to find a proper relationship. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
isme Report post Posted March 5, 2009 Hi, I can understand why you would want to consider this option, but I do think that meeting people face to face is a better way, so that people can really get to know you rather than words typed on a computer screen. Having said that my sister in law met her ex partner and her current one online.. It can work.. Honestly though, I do believe that you are better off meeting people in the more "traditional" ways. I love the idea of you taking up a hobby or sport and meeting someone that way.. What kind of interests do you have? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 5, 2009 I've met three of my relationships online so it can work - one ended up lasting seven years (the others were slightly less successful but the less said about that the better ). Meeting people face to face can be very difficult as so many of the 'normal' meeting places are often, sadly, 'off limits' to Aspies due to sensory issues, environmental factors etc. That's not to say that it can't be done but that it just might not be an option for you. The club/group idea works well as you're meeting people who are, by their very nature, interested in similar things (which eliminates a lot of the 'small talk' around discovering each other's interests - you're both there because you both enjoy whatever it is you're both there for ) and may very well have a similar mentality and approach to life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted March 5, 2009 You would need to be careful. Some people on those sites lie or abuse people's trust. You need to be able to spot the ones to avoid. Some sites include message forums for particular interests, so that may be something to try. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
something_different Report post Posted March 5, 2009 online friendships are good i think, i have a couple of friends online. i have never had a relationship tho i have tried, mainly building up an online friendship then meeting face to face and then the 'friend' decides i am to weird to be friends with nvm have a relaionship with. they will norm block/ignore me after meeting me, or say i am weird or rude or too quiet. it could work if ur not as weird as i am. i have also attepted groups, but i dont tlk to ppl and if ur so quiet ppl wont talk to u either, i'm a hopeless case really. i'm 26 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
daniels-mum Report post Posted March 5, 2009 I think Kazzen is right unfortunately, there are people on these sites who take advantage of people. Could you maybe if you join one, ask someone you can trust to help you set up a profile and also have a quick read through any messages you got sent, or at least any you weren't sure about, they would hopefully be able to read between the lines and pick up subtle things that you could miss. I hope that doesnt sound awful, its just that obviously the nature of ASD itself may mean you interpret things differently to how they were meant on odd occasions, goodness knows I do it myself enough!! There will probably be other people on them with ASD's if you wanted to meet someone who you had something in common with to start with. I am sure that on some sites people can say if they are disabled so that may be a way of narrowing things down to start with and then you could take it from there. I dont think there would be anything to be lost by just having a look but I would definately get someone who you knew had your best interests at heart just to give a second opinion on anything you were thinking about taking further and to just give your profile a once over if you did decide to go ahead. Also it sounds obvious but you would only want to go with reputable sites. I actually met my partner on line just over 3 years ago and we now have a little boy. I hope I havn't offended anyone at all in this post as that wasnt my intention at all, good luck if you do decide to give it a try x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted March 6, 2009 I think we need to be clear about what we are discussing here. I have no problem with people meeting online and then in real life but that is NOT what sites like the ones mentioned in the original post are for. They are aimed at people looking for short-term emotionless physical encounters and are arguably the very last place someone with no experience of relationships should be looking. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jon79 Report post Posted April 26, 2009 (edited) waste of time those sites no contacts no emails no nothing and has been months now. more money gone for nothing. no gain or progeess for same amount of money could have got a guranteed 4 hr dinner session. i am still waitiing life 2.0 time is running out Edited April 26, 2009 by jon79 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frogslegs Report post Posted April 26, 2009 Well do you like nature? Have you tried walking groups? They are bril to meet people as you are there for an activity but at the same time you have plenty of time to chat with a wide range of people, so you have time to get to know them. I have travelled a fair bit and each time I went to a new place I joined one to make friends and it worked. Making friends with someone first is essential! I think on line dating is okayish but the problem is that people only give one side of their personality even the honest ones. Who is going to say that they have so many failed relationships behind them, and explain their worst bad points... One shows oneself in best light, then shock when meeting the person for real !!!! I met my husband when I was in my late twenties and he was late thirties, at the introductory evening of a leisure club (bunjee jumping, driving a tank type club). By chance we were sitting next to each other and started talking and neither of us joined the club and developed a friendship. Both of us were on the shelf really.. I had gone to all my friends weddings, christening of babies....I suspect my husband is an undiagnosed Aspie so he is not sociable but I did not mind as he is a really nice and kind person. There are plenty of people who are capable of appreciating a person for who he/she really is and are not looking for super cool guy, super dresser... He is extremely reliable, what he says he is going to do, he does, he is very organised, methodical. Those qualities are very valuable. You may be meeting people but I think they are the WRONG type! Good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
