meeting the stamented child's needs

[purplehaze]

Hi all, I have just had my 15yr old son's annual review and amongst other stuff one thing said when asked if they can still meet his needs

 

minutes state-it 'was ...... who was choosing to fail to meet his needs' (my son).

 

My question is what advice would you give or what would you do if you were consistently told the school provide everything to meet your child's needs but it's your child failing to meet them.

 

background-mainstream, 20hr plus statement, SEN school one lesson per wk, doesn't want to go to SEN school full-time, school very rigid thinking. EP, children's disability team, SEN school very supportive but struggle to get school to understand needs.

 

If my son is failing to meet his needs what on earth can I/we do to change this????????

 

I'm worried he only has a yr left and failing academically and emotionally/socially etc.

[call me jaded]

Oh dear. Need to think about this one, but I would question what support they are going to give him so that he can meet his needs?

[purplehaze]

 

 

Thanks for replying.

 

This is the support the school say they offer in the annual review report:

daily work shedules-LSA fill out about behaviour etc

smaller differientiated groups

use of ICT to improve presentation-not sure this happens TBH

LSA support in 25 X 1hr lessons including PE

Pastoral support

use of study support area

Liaison between home/school-only ever seems to be negative stuff TBH

1X20 mins intervention/monitoring by SENCO-she has been off for months so not sure.

 

On his statement it says he has high levels of anxiety-school say they deal with this by:

 

if he feels anxious then he could ask his LSA for permission for 5 mins time out.

If LSA felt he was anxious the he/she (never same person) would take him out for 5mins. if this didn't work then he would come to study support for time out.

If he didn't adhere to school code of behaviour and was non-compliant he would be issued 3 warnings-then sent to another teacher (with LSA). if he failed or refused to go then he is sent to internal exclusion-which triggers a detention. 3 or more time in IE gains a whole day there.

 

My concern (although I understand that he has to do things a certain way) is if he is anxious the above will make it worse and it mostly has the same ending which is IE and detentions-making things more negative etc and his needs not being met.

 

Targets are:

1) to improve his awareness of situations that might cause anxieties and develop strategies to cope-use anxiety programme & mind reading-this has not happened conssitently so they are trying again.

 

2) to improve his understanding of social and curriculum vocab-social stories

 

3)to improve his self esteem (change work schedules to include something positive)-at last, i've been saying this for years!!!

 

4) to improve his self oragainsation

 

it doesn't say anything else about targets or how they will be carried out and I haven't recieved an IEP yet.

 

Do you think this is ok or if there should be other strategies in place???

[Karen A]

Hi.It may be worth doing some detective work to establish how often what is offered is offered and how often the offer is taken up.I think it is a bit of a cop out to say that your son does not meet his needs.Is he clear regarding what is being offered and how to ask for it for instance ?This is especially the case if your son has AS where part of the difficulty experienced might be communicating what is needed when anxious.

If LSA felt he was anxious the he/she (never same person) would take him out for 5mins. if this didn't work then he would come to study support for time out.

If he didn't adhere to school code of behaviour and was non-compliant he would be issued 3 warnings-then sent to another teacher (with LSA). if he failed or refused to go then he is sent to internal exclusion-which triggers a detention. 3 or more time in IE gains a whole day there

I think this bit reads more like a general behaviour policy than SEN provision.The Statement should detail what different strategies or support are offered to support your son with the identified SEN I think . Karen.

 

[purplehaze]

I think this bit reads more like a general behaviour policy than SEN provision.

 

 

I also think this!

it's not on the statement it's what the school has said in the minutes of the annual review. My problem is yes my son can be differcult particularly when anxious but the school just treat him like he is being naughty and are always telling me it's a mainstream school and they have to treat him the same as everyone else!!!

 

I feel like there are no other options or roads to take. Things are just hard at the moment and my daughter has just been dx with alopecia XXX

[Sally44]

If you have quoted from his statement in your post then it is not specific enough.

It sounds like the school have been inconsistent with strategies and with staff.

There is a tier of 'punishment' and not supports or strategies.

 

I would contact the NAS Tribunal Service and speak with someone about it, or their educational helpline. Or you can find a legal advocate through the NAS website that has experience of SEN law.

 

This is just my opinion, but if he is not making progress he is not getting the right support or the right level of support. They might be trying to support him in a mainstream school, but if he isn't able to access it then it is pointless. A child has to make a years worth of academic improvement. If they are not making that that is evidence that the current provision is not meeting his needs. The school/LEA are supposed to be doing that, not putting the blame back onto your child for not benefiting from what they are doing!

 

My son is in a mainstream Enhanced Resource school. He receives a number of supports and therapies throughout the lessons and breaks. He is also taken out for one to one work. His teacher commented to me that she did not want to call in the Dyslexia Advisory Teacher because she felt that it would be detrimental for my son to be removed from mainstream classes for yet something else. However, if he has dyslexia, what is the point of him being in the classroom and attempting to learn through systems that don't teach children with dyslexia??

 

If your child spends alot of time out of whole class situations then that school is not appropriate either.

 

I have pasted an exert from my son's statement to give you an idea of how specific it is. A statement that is not specific is illegal and unenforceable. As you have said yourself, you have got no idea who is doing what. It says in the Code of Practice that it should be specific in terms of hours and staffing provision eg. who does what how often and for how long. Yous does not appear to say this.

 

As he has a year to go, it might be a good time to put up a fight and find a specialist provision that goes post 16, which has experience of children on the spectrum and which teaches life skills.

 

EXTRACT FROM STATEMENT

 

"XXXX will receive a minimum of 6 hours direct Speech and Language Therapy each term from a fully qualified and experienced Speech and Language Therapist, reviewed in line with the SEN Annual Review process. This equates to approximately twelve 30 minute sessions per term to be delivered weekly or as agreed with XXXXs? parents and school staff in order to best meet XXXXs? changing needs.

 

XXXXs? Speech & Language Therapist will compile a speech and language therapy programme to be delivered by a Teaching Assistant throughout the week on a daily basis, with the Speech and Language Therapist adjusting the programme as required following the speech and language therapy session that she has delivered. This session will be observed by a Teaching Assistant who will be delivering the programme throughout the rest of the week.

 

In addition to direct therapy the Speech and Language Therapist will do the following:

 

? Observe Yiannis? functional communication outside of therapy sessions;

? Liaise with school staff and parents;

? Be invited to attend the Annual Review and provide an updating report beforehand;

? Write notes, reports and treatment programmes;

? Contribute towards the MEP targets.

 

This should take approximately 9 hours per term.

 

XXXXs? Speech and Language Therapy support will focus on the following areas:

 

? Speech - through auditory discrimination

? Extending Yiannis? Semantic development

? Developing his understanding of different sentence structures

? Extending narrative skills.

? Developing his Verbal Reasoning

? Developing his phonological awareness skills

? Social communication skills

 

XXXX will attend a weekly social communication skills group which will be planned with advice from a Speech and Language Therapist. Such a programme should be extended to include developing XXXXs? range of communication acts as well as the above areas. It is vital that XXXX is helped to use language to initiate play with his peers. Developing the use of scripts to help XXXX know how to use language appropriately for this situation and other social situations is recommended.

 

The Speech and Language Therapist will need to work closely with parents, school staff and the multi-agency team to ensure skills are embedded in the curriculum and generalised across settings. It is recommended that a framework such as SCERTS (Social Communication, Emotional Regulation and Transactional Support), Prizant et al 2006, is used to ensure all XXXXs? needs within his diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder are met and prioritized appropriately."

 

[Karen A]

I also think this!

it's not on the statement it's what the school has said in the minutes of the annual review. My problem is yes my son can be differcult particularly when anxious but the school just treat him like he is being naughty and are always telling me it's a mainstream school and they have to treat him the same as everyone else!!!

 

I feel like there are no other options or roads to take. Things are just hard at the moment and my daughter has just been dx with alopecia XXX

 

Hi.If the school are saying that thet treat your son the same as everyone else and he has a recognised disability it amounts to disability discrimination.Whether the school is a mainstream school or not is not the issue.It may be worth asking for a copy of the school inclusion policy and behaviour policy.The annual review should have addressed what is documented in the Statement.It may be worth checking the Statement to see whether the school are doing what is documented especially with regard to behaviour.If the Statement has specific support and strategies clearly documented and the school are not following what is documented then you can write to the LEA.I will find the template letter for you.Karen.

 

[Karen A]

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...crimination.htm

This may be helpful.It explains disability discrimination better than me.

[Karen A]

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm#NonImplementation

The letter on this web site regarding school not impementing what is documented in the Statement might be helpful if you have a satisfactory statement.If you have realised that the statement is not satisfactory just after the annual review it might be more complicated sorting out options.The LEA should recieve a copy of the recommendations from the Annual Review.If they decide to amend the Statement then you should I think recieve written notification regarding your right to appeal.If they decide not to ammend the Statement then I wll have to think again. Karen.

[Karen A]

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1763&a=6741

This may be helpful too.It explains what should happen as a result of the Annual Review.You could try phoning the LEA to ensure that they have a copy of the submission from the Annual Review.Karen.

[Karen A]

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...ual-reviews.htm

This may also be helpful.See especially section 11.Karen.

[purplehaze]

Thanks guys. I think I am going to look into the discrinmination stuff.

 

The stuff I said earlier wasn't from the statement it was from the annual review-what the school said they had put into place. Although the statement isn't that great. Thanks for the advice I will deffinately look into it. xxx

[Sally44]

The whole point of the Statement is that it should contain all of your sons needs (each need and difficulty should be itemised) and how they should be met in terms of hours of support, by whom, how often, when reviewed etc.

He is in a mainstream school not because 'he has to fit in with the mainstream systems'. His Statement means he has severe and complex needs over and above what the school can be typically expected to supply. Therefore the school has to differentiate work, and use strategies, supports, therapies etc to meet his needs. He shouldn't have to comply with their systems! By saying what they have said they are basically refusing to meet his needs.

In my son's old school his teacher told the Autism Outreach Teacher "don't ask me to make one more thing". So she was basically refusing to make visual timetables, visual supports etc for a child with HFA. So she was basically refusing to put into place strategies that would help him understand and access learning! If my son had been blind, I doubt a teacher would get away with saying "don't expect me to learn braille, or teach the child braille, or use any other method of teaching other than writing".

[Karen A]

Hi Sallya.

Therefore the school has to differentiate work, and use strategies, supports, therapies etc to meet his needs. He shouldn't have to comply with their systems!

.

 

As I have already posted the information re disability discrimination I obviously do not think the school are getting everything right.However as a parent of a child with AS in a mainstream school and going to mainstream secondary in September I am a little concerned with the the suggestion that ''he shouldn't have to comply with their systems''.If Ben had a system purely based around his idea of his needs the curriculum would include only history.ICT and creative writing and would invlove no physical activity.

I think education is about preparation for the real world .In the real world Ben will need to learn that not all systems allow for non-compliance.I am not saying that it is easy for Ben to learn how to comply with a system that does not work according to his understanding of the rules.However to suggest that he should not have to comply with the stystem is like suggesting that if he were blind he should not have to learn to read braille.Ben may well wish to have a career in the future and even to go to university.If he grows up expecting that he will never have to comply with any other system than his own this may be more disabling for him than having ASD.

I think appropriate support is about supporting Ben in developing skills to enable him to manage within the system rather than expecting the system to always comply with his perception.

 

I have edited to add.The legal requirement within the DDA is that ''reasonable adjustments'' are made.There is no legal requirement for a different system to be provided.

 

If my son had been blind, I doubt a teacher would get away with saying "don't expect me to learn braille, or teach the child braille, or use any other method of teaching other than writing

I am not sure that the teacher would be less likely to get away with saying that.The recent report which was very widely publicised regarding NHS care of people with learning difficulties demonstrated that lack of awareness and knowledge is by no means limited to the area of ASD.Karen.

Edited April 3, 2009 by Karen A

[Karen A]

Hi again Purplehaze.

I just read through this thread again.I know that there are several people around on the Forum who have older adolescents or young adults.They have been through the experience of looking for options post 16.I don't know if you have also posted elsewhere.It might be worth posting on ''beyond adolescence'' to ask for ideas for future options.

I think some people lurk around on ''beyond adolescence'' or on ''education'' who may be able to offer advice. Karen.

[purplehaze]

Thanks guys-I think I need to really think about what to do next. Maybe the school haven't made reasonable adjustment over behaviour issues if my son has to follow normal behaviour procedures particularly due to his anxiety-if your anxious with communication difficulties how easy would it be to have to request to ask to leave and then wait for the LSA to agree time-out is needed. I think this is where the behaviour escalates. Not sure of the answer though?????

 

I shall be thinking this over and contacting my local ASD group, I have also posted in education.

 

Thanks again xxx

[Kazzen161]

-if your anxious with communication difficulties how easy would it be to have to request to ask to leave and then wait for the LSA to agree time-out is needed. I think this is where the behaviour escalates. Not sure of the answer though?????

 

Generally the child has a time-out card - they show it and the teacher just lets them go - no questioning - no waiting - to an agreed place, for an agreed amount of time.

 

For NT children, teachers will try to find out what the problem is and try to solve it - but for our children, if they get to the stage where they need time-out, questioning will just make them more anxious and stressed.

 

Teachers often don't appreciate that knowing that they can leave the classroom at any time, will not mean that our children abuse the privilege. In fact, they are less likely to need to use it, just becasue they know they can if they need to.

[Sally44]

To: Karen A

I think I didn't explain myself sufficiently. What I meant to say was that if a child can be within a mainstream system and can cope with everything as it is, then they don't need a Statement. If they cannot cope with the 'system' that the mainstream school has for all their pupils eg. during breaktimes and dinnertimes, then those are the reasons why the child needs a Statement and all those needs (including behavioural ones) should be included. Then the child should not be expected to have to fit in with the current system if they don't know how to initiate play and social interaction for example. I am not talking about a child choosing whether they will or won't comply. I am talking about current teaching systems, social systems etc that the child cannot access or cannot do because of their diagnosis. My son has severe speech problems, so I don't expect him to be able to fit with the current system of teaching delivery ie. verbal. He needs a different approach. Therefore I don't expect his school to just expect him to sit in whole class situations and learn as the other children do. He just can't do it. That is all I meant.

[Sally44]

To Karen A: Although I agree with what you say about your son has to live in the real world, he doesn't have the follow the same path as everyone else, and probably couldn't even if he wanted to. The truth is that within the mainstream school environment he has to comply. When he leaves school he will choose what he does and doesn't want to do (as we all do), and he won't do any of the things that he struggles with or doesn't understand or see the point of. As any one of us would do. But the difference is that we make choices out of preference. He is making choices out of neurological differences that cause him to be meaning blind in some situations. And if he really does not get some things, what is the point of making him sit through them. Not for his benefit surely, because he would have to be learning something from being made to comply. But if he has the difficulties associated with an autistic spectrum disorder of theory of mind, for example, then he is never going to see it from another persons point of view, however many times you make him sit through it. And if he has problems with generalisation he is never going to be able to learn something (eg. history) and be able to apply what happened in a past event to how a future problem should be solved. If he could he wouldn't be autistic. If he could learn from his peers he wouldn't be autistic.

If you were taken from the UK and placed in a Japanese workplace, how long would you stay there? Would you really stay there and learn the language, culture, etc. Or would you always feel different inside, and not really fit as a foreigner in Japan? When you socialised would you do typical Japanese things, or would you search for things from your culture. Would you watch Japanese TV or would you get satellite so that you could watch your favourite TV channels. And if you had the choice of working for a Japanese firm in Japan or an English firm in Japan who would you honestly prefer to work for. I can bet you a million pounds you would work for the English firm, because that is what you are. So why are we trying to turn applies into oranges? So, although I do agree with what you are saying about having to be in the world, at the same time I know what my son can and cannot do. And I don't expect him to do anything that I would not be prepared to do myself. For many many children in school (and especially mainstream), if we (as adults) were going through the same level difficulties as them in the workplace, we would be off sick with mental illness/stress and anxiety (as are alot of our children).

And mainstream school does not prepare them for the outside world. It forces them to be compliant. It doesn't teach them any life skills they need. Or any social or relationship skills that are particularly difficult for those on the spectrum. It doesn't teach them coping and behavioural strategies so that they know what to do when placed in these situations when they are adults in the outside world. They just seem to be forced to do what they have to do and when they can't do it they get punished.

Your son must be very high functioning if he is okay at mainstream without supports. Does he socialise with his school friends out of school? Do you think he will be doing the same stuff as them when he leaves school ie. going out drinking and going to clubs and having girlfriends? I know that my son will not be doing that. He moves in a different social network that has different interests and different motivations. He has very little in common with mainstream children and very few shared abilities. And by that I also mean that my son has some abilities that 'typical' children don't have.

[Sally44]

The reason I mentioned the difficulties someone would have if they were blind is because that is a disability you can recognise. If someone is visually blind it is obvious and adults/teachers are much more able to recognise what the difficulties might be for that person. When someone has an ASD and is socially blind, or meaning blind, or face blind, or theory of mind blind, etc it is not visible. Therefore the child looks normal, and those who come into contact with that child cannot see the disability. They see the behaviours which result from the disability and call that bad behaviour.

[Sally44]

If your son gets anxious at having to communicate, then he could use something like a time out card. That is what my 8 year old has. He has been taught how to use it. He has to go to his TA and hand it to her and she will take him out. He doesn't, at this stage, have to say anything to her. She will take him to a quiet place and after a couple of mins she will talk to him to see how he is.

We are also waiting for the Ed Psych to put into place a programme for recognising his emotional state in himself and in others.

You might also want to have alook at a system called SCERTS, which is for assessing and monitoring all aspects of social communication and interaction. A SALT should know about this system. It is something that all the professionals that work with your son can use (almost like a huge wall planner), which lists all the social skills and abilities and any of the professionals can tick off or highlight areas that the child can or cannot do. So, if the child can initiate conversation on the playground, but cannot initiate conversation in class - then that is the area to be worked on. Because it is quite typical for autistic children to be able to do a certain skill in one environment, but not in another.

And although Disability Discrimination Law maybe appropriate if school have not made a reasonable adjustment to the environment, or the system currently used. It is also very important that this need is incorporated into his Statement. Because the statement is a legal document any recommendations to meet this need would have to be done by the school. If the school does not have this legal requirement agains them, then it probably won't happen.

I would speak to one of the recommended national organisations to see what they recommend.

[Sally44]

After the meeting with the school, you will receive a letter from the LA stating whether they are keeping the statement as it is, or whether any recommendations were made and the LEA have decided to make alterations to take that into account. I am not sure what the timescales for this are. Either way you can appeal against the LEAs decision and apply to SENDIST at that stage. That is why, I have advised you contact the NAS as they now have a Tribunal service where they can support you throughout the process. If you do go to Tribunal it would be worth getting the NAS supporting you because they can check the existing statement and tighten it up if needed.

But in the meantime I would still write a letter to the school in terms saying that "at the AR no concerns were raised about my son's behaviour, however XXXX has happened recently and I was informed that my son was moved to a lower ability class because of behavioural problems.

Can you please reply by return setting out exactly what the behavioural problems were and what you think were the events leading up to those behavioural problems. Can you please clarify why this issue was not raised at the Annual Review, because the Code of Practice for the Statement clearly states that every need should be included in the statement in section 2 with recommendations from professionals as to how to meet those needs in section 3.

I am not happy that my son is having these behavioural problems and I would like the school to also confirm that they have contacted the Educational Psychologist for their advice, and can you please send me a copy of what the Ed Psych recommended.

I believe that these behavioural problems are down to my son's diagnosis not being fully understood and supported. I do not see how moving him to a lower ability class is going to improve his behaviour."

 

That letter, if you go to tribunal, is evidence of what happened and what you asked the school to do. It is then in their court to reply to this letter, which should be interesting.

 

Even if they state that this was a 'one off' incident, then that is recorded as evidence (if try to exclude him in the future or try to use other unsuitable measures or punishments) because they have admitted in writing that your son does not have significant behavioural problems. If they say there are frequent behavioural problems, then this is evidence again that they haven't sought outside advice or sought to change the Statement.

[purplehaze]

Hi, My son used to have time-out cards-not used now.

 

It was not working-my son just couldn't use them as he needed to just get out and couldn't hold them up first. Also the LSA use to hold onto them which didn't help as he had to ask for them. The school were also worried that he would use it to many times.

 

I'm just not sure what the next step is and i'm so worried about him only having a year left and nothing changing for the better like the past few years.

[Karen A]

To Karen A: Although I agree with what you say about your son has to live in the real world, he doesn't have the follow the same path as everyone else, and probably couldn't even if he wanted to. The truth is that within the mainstream school environment he has to comply. When he leaves school he will choose what he does and doesn't want to do (as we all do), and he won't do any of the things that he struggles with or doesn't understand or see the point of. As any one of us would do. But the difference is that we make choices out of preference. He is making choices out of neurological differences that cause him to be meaning blind in some situations. And if he really does not get some things, what is the point of making him sit through them. Not for his benefit surely, because he would have to be learning something from being made to comply. But if he has the difficulties associated with an autistic spectrum disorder of theory of mind, for example, then he is never going to see it from another persons point of view, however many times you make him sit through it. And if he has problems with generalisation he is never going to be able to learn something (eg. history) and be able to apply what happened in a past event to how a future problem should be solved. If he could he wouldn't be autistic. If he could learn from his peers he wouldn't be autistic.

If you were taken from the UK and placed in a Japanese workplace, how long would you stay there? Would you really stay there and learn the language, culture, etc. Or would you always feel different inside, and not really fit as a foreigner in Japan? When you socialised would you do typical Japanese things, or would you search for things from your culture. Would you watch Japanese TV or would you get satellite so that you could watch your favourite TV channels. And if you had the choice of working for a Japanese firm in Japan or an English firm in Japan who would you honestly prefer to work for. I can bet you a million pounds you would work for the English firm, because that is what you are. So why are we trying to turn applies into oranges? So, although I do agree with what you are saying about having to be in the world, at the same time I know what my son can and cannot do. And I don't expect him to do anything that I would not be prepared to do myself. For many many children in school (and especially mainstream), if we (as adults) were going through the same level difficulties as them in the workplace, we would be off sick with mental illness/stress and anxiety (as are alot of our children).

And mainstream school does not prepare them for the outside world. It forces them to be compliant. It doesn't teach them any life skills they need. Or any social or relationship skills that are particularly difficult for those on the spectrum. It doesn't teach them coping and behavioural strategies so that they know what to do when placed in these situations when they are adults in the outside world. They just seem to be forced to do what they have to do and when they can't do it they get punished.

Your son must be very high functioning if he is okay at mainstream without supports. Does he socialise with his school friends out of school? Do you think he will be doing the same stuff as them when he leaves school ie. going out drinking and going to clubs and having girlfriends? I know that my son will not be doing that. He moves in a different social network that has different interests and different motivations. He has very little in common with mainstream children and very few shared abilities. And by that I also mean that my son has some abilities that 'typical' children don't have.

 

Hi.I never said that my son does not have support.Ben does in fact have full time support.I did not say he is ok in mainstream either.Those people who have been around on the Forum for a while are very aware of the struggles we have had.

The Forum does as far as I am aware support parents who choose to fight to enable their children to be supported in mainstream as well as those who opt for specialist provision.Those who have been around on the Forum for a while will also be aware that I fully respect those who opt for specialist provision and have actively supported many parents here who have had a fight to obtain it.

I have hopes that Ben will be everything that he wishes to be in the future.I do not intend to give any further account of my choices or views regarding Ben in response to your post.I would never dream of questioning another Forum member regarding how well functioning their child is.Many people on the Forum are extremely aware of our struggles in the last three years.We are now in the process of moving on following an AS dx which was only obtained last October.I have made a very recent choice to no longer explain our previous struggles and so will not be doing so on this thread.Karen.

 

[Karen A]

Purplehaze.I just wanted to apologise as I appear to have managed to take this thread off topic.I will attempt to not detour further.I hope that some others might come along too with some ideas for you. Karen.

[Sally44]

Maybe they need to tweak the Time Out card ie. give it to him and get him to just leave it on his desk as an explanation of why he has left. And for him to know where to go to and for the TA to go to that area as soon as she sees that he has left and used the Time Out card.

[purplehaze]

Hi and thanks for advice. Karen-no need for apologies!

 

I think a problem is that my son is in a mainstream school and as such wants to fit in-but the problem with that is while trying to fit in he struggles with social/emotional, different strategies and work commitments. Thats why I think it is working in the special school -he can be himself but he is scared of leaving the mainstream school for ever-because then he is different IYKWIM.

 

I'm going to phone my local NAS help line and see what they think!!

 

[Sally44]

And these are the children that really struggle because they are so self aware. A more severe child isn't aware of their own difficulties.

It might be useful to talk with him about the things he finds difficult to do and why. Being different isn't being less of a person. Thinking or perceiving things differently doesn't mean that his experience is untrue or of no worth.

My son is self aware. He will ask me (after a meltdown, or an explosion of anger and abusive words), 'what is wrong with my brain, why can't I control myself'. So I try as best I can to explain to him what happens to him at those times. I don't make excuses for his behaviour, but I tell him that that is how it is with him, but that he can learn ways to calm down, and how to go to a quiet place. He is frequently mortified at his own behaviour - which can be very bad for self esteem and mental health.

My son has alot of sensory issues, and so do I. So previously I thought he was just an exaggerated version of me. Now I know what is the reason behind the difficulties we both have, it helps me to be able to talk to him about he experiences. Because what happens to them is real. So when touch hurts, or 'something' smells bad, or irritates them enough to cover their ears or makes them gag - then that is how it is regardless of the fact that it doesn't cause the same reaction in the rest of us.

It might be worth getting him involved with other children on the spectrum. That might be through parent support groups, activity groups, and when he is able; online groups/forums.

And if your son wants to make friends etc that is great. So the onus is completely on the school to support him so that he is successful in that. Sucessess breeds success. Failure breeds low self esteem. Talk with a Speech Therapist about an ongoing assessment system called SCERTS. If everyone is using this system it will highlight the social interaction skills your child can and cannot do.

When I moved school for my son I had to separate him from his sibling (who remained at that school). That was a hard decision to accept and to make. But I knew the current place wasn't working and I knew that the timescale for it to begin to work would be years away. So I moved him to a place where I was confident he would cope. And any decision you make is not written in stone. I am sure the LEA would be more than happy for me to give up my son's ER place and move mainstream - if he was able to do that. So try to get the highest level of provison and support you can and for it to be specific through a statement. That becomes your baseline. If that level of specific support works it remains the same. If there isn't enough improvement you notch it up another level at annual review.

[purplehaze]

 

 

Thanks for the reply- My son does have some self-awareness and also says there is something wrong with his brain he also says I made him this way!!!!! Off course I talk to him and try to explain why and how we can both support us all etc.

 

I spoke to my local NAS help line yesterday-they suggested I put a plan of action in with specific detail and get everyone together to do this-things we want to happen over the next year and beyond etc, people that need to be involved etc. Also if the school are not being helpful I should contact the LA and ask for a meeting.

 

This is going to be my first step I think, my parent partnership person is going to try to make a meeting for June to discuss and paln for September anyway so I will use this and then I will take it from there. Thanks again everyone, wish me luck xxx

 

[Sally44]

It is important to bring up the fact that he is very self aware and that it is affecting his self esteem. That makes him vulnerable. And it also has implications for things like depression or other mental illness if he is not supported and is not seeing himself as achieving and being successful in school. So achieveable targets are very important, and so are supports and structures around social skills.

And as silly as this sounds, use those words, "self aware, vulnerable, low self esteem, achieveable targets, supports/structures/SALT input for more success around social interaction." These are the WORDS that professionals moving in these circles recognise and act on. Don't forget to mention SCERTS as this is a good system.

[Karen A]

Thanks for the reply- My son does have some self-awareness and also says there is something wrong with his brain he also says I made him this way!!!!! Off course I talk to him and try to explain why and how we can both support us all etc.

 

I spoke to my local NAS help line yesterday-they suggested I put a plan of action in with specific detail and get everyone together to do this-things we want to happen over the next year and beyond etc, people that need to be involved etc. Also if the school are not being helpful I should contact the LA and ask for a meeting.

 

This is going to be my first step I think, my parent partnership person is going to try to make a meeting for June to discuss and paln for September anyway so I will use this and then I will take it from there. Thanks again everyone, wish me luck xxx

 

Hi.I found this yesterday and posted it on another thread.It might be useful information.

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1067&a=4412

I thought this years review might be a transition review . Karen.

[purplehaze]

Sally I will deffinately be using those words-thank youxxx

 

Karen-the website was useful thank you it told me that things were not discussed during my sons transition review that should have been. xxx