szxmum Report post Posted April 27, 2009 Just got back from spending the afternoon with my own dm - when oh when will I learn NOT to expect support from that woman - arrrggghhhh Told her everything that had been going on over the past few weeks and how I felt so much more happy and positive with the situation - big mistake - huge. First - oh there's absolutely nothing at all wrong with ds - he's fine, just a little shy Next - well what's he going to do with his life - he NEEDS to earn a living - he can't go onto benefits - she did everything but wail and beat her chest Finally - the killer - he's a prime candidate for self-medication, you know - just like your Dad. Gee thanks Mum Am sooooo mad with myself - ONE of these days I'll learn NOT to keep putting my hand in the fire - it burns and I get hurt Sorry for the rant - off to feed the rabble now xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frogslegs Report post Posted April 27, 2009 I can relate to that.. I have learnt to not say too much to my mother who does not understand and sees the worst possible scenario (oooh people like that that's like so and so's son and he has schizophrenia and he attacked his mother you know!!!! )... So now everything is fine...It is difficult because she can't support us, it's more the other way round these days. I think we have to learn to be tolerant because....: All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." ~ Oscar Wilde Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted April 27, 2009 lol frogslegs, . My mum still says ( my son is 22) have you told him off ? If you told him off he wouldnt be like that!! err see it was all so simple in her day.. lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted April 27, 2009 <'> I had all of that with MIL. Years down the line, I now realise she was lashing out because she was so scared for him - in relation to your other thread, there was an uncle in the family with mental health problems (NOT autism ) and she assumed that JP was going to suffer the same fate & be institutionalised. Pure panic. It wasnt until she read a Telegraph article a few years later (telling her exactly what I'd told her) that she believed me, & said she'd been thinking that autism was a mental illness. These days, she is so supportive & proud of her grandson. I'd never have believed it when he was little. Give it time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jordansmum33ok Report post Posted April 28, 2009 Hi my mum was like that too, used to say just give em good hidin.. she wouldnt put up with it blar blar used to drive mecrazy so i didnt bother to see her now she has him stay and all is well she actually understands.. amazing really. going to stay over there with my son this weekend and for once im looking forward to it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mum of 3 Report post Posted April 28, 2009 My 'Dearest Mother' has just been given a book an AS by a friend (wouldn't read any of the HUNDREDS I've offered! ). Guess what? She's 'only dipped in and out of it', but she's decided she's now an expert on AS, so yesterday, when he'd been to the dentist (10 minutes spent pinning him down in the chair, tried all 'nice' ways to get him to open up, eventually had to force my fingers in and bear the bites!!! ), and he was begging for something new, she went and bought him a massive Postman Pat playset for 10 quid...For being 'GOOD'!!!...even though we've had an absolute ban on 'extras' for weeks because his beggin and tantrums in shops were getting out of control... and the other 2 got NOTHING... they never do! (she can't afford to buy 3 toys, she says! ). When I asked why the **** she'd bought him such a big thing she said she'd read in this book that his desire for new things wasn't just a 'want', it's a 'real, physical NEED'. Don't know what book she's reading, but haven't come across that as part of the DX criteria myself! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wasuup Report post Posted April 28, 2009 My 'Dearest Mother' has just been given a book an AS by a friend (wouldn't read any of the HUNDREDS I've offered! ). Guess what? She's 'only dipped in and out of it', but she's decided she's now an expert on AS, so yesterday, when he'd been to the dentist (10 minutes spent pinning him down in the chair, tried all 'nice' ways to get him to open up, eventually had to force my fingers in and bear the bites!!! ), and he was begging for something new, she went and bought him a massive Postman Pat playset for 10 quid...For being 'GOOD'!!!...even though we've had an absolute ban on 'extras' for weeks because his beggin and tantrums in shops were getting out of control... and the other 2 got NOTHING... they never do! (she can't afford to buy 3 toys, she says! ). When I asked why the **** she'd bought him such a big thing she said she'd read in this book that his desire for new things wasn't just a 'want', it's a 'real, physical NEED'. Don't know what book she's reading, but haven't come across that as part of the DX criteria myself! LOL I know I shouldn't laugh but it did read funny. At least your Mum is trying in her own unique way............... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted April 28, 2009 Hi szxmum My mother-in-law used to say "I don't know what your problem is, I think he's lovely!!" She also used to say "we weren't allowed to have allergies in my day" I had the SENCO at the Junior school suggest I watch A Beautiful Life with Russell Crowe. He plays a man with Schizophrenia - I'm not sure if she was saying my son had Schizophrenia or that I might have it!! I found the film rather distressing, especially when it was revealed that his best friend wasn't real. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
szxmum Report post Posted April 28, 2009 Hi szxmum My mother-in-law used to say "I don't know what your problem is, I think he's lovely!!" She also used to say "we weren't allowed to have allergies in my day" I had the SENCO at the Junior school suggest I watch A Beautiful Life with Russell Crowe. He plays a man with Schizophrenia - I'm not sure if she was saying my son had Schizophrenia or that I might have it!! I found the film rather distressing, especially when it was revealed that his best friend wasn't real. Ooooh I know that one, I get "stop worrying - he's fine" God love your SENCO, I'm sure she meant well Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted April 28, 2009 Well according to my MIL, back in the day there was no such thing as stress, autism, anorexia, PMT, you name it, she thinks "support groups" are rubbish - oh, and apparently, when women were pregnant they didnt have sticky out stomachs! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted April 28, 2009 When I asked why the **** she'd bought him such a big thing she said she'd read in this book that his desire for new things wasn't just a 'want', it's a 'real, physical NEED'. Don't know what book she's reading, but haven't come across that as part of the DX criteria myself! Red wine is a real physical need for me ......but nobody buys it for me. Sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted April 28, 2009 Well according to my MIL, back in the day there was no such thing as stress, autism, anorexia, PMT, you name it, she thinks "support groups" are rubbish - oh, and apparently, when women were pregnant they didnt have sticky out stomachs! Oh.I can improve on that. My mum once talked about how I had such an easy time during childbirth.......I who needed an emergency section after a nightmare labour. She once argued with my DH telling him that he definitely took sugar in his tea. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted April 28, 2009 hehehe that is funny , i so hope i dont end up like this, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
