Hi Smiley, it sounds as if you coped really well with the funeral. Well done, you. It's a very hard situation, isn't it? I know just what you mean about having that 'unreal' feeling. I've felt like that before at funerals.
It seems so strange to be doing this momentous thing (saying goodbye to a loved and dear one), and yet still having everyday thoughts (like 'did I leave the gas on?', or 'I wonder who'll go from XFactor tonight')...it's almost as if those everyday things have no place on such an important day, but they do, and it's perfectly normal to have them. I think this is what people mean when they say 'Life goes on...'.
My Dad died this time of year 7 years ago. I remember standing in my Mum's conservatory watching the bonfire and fireworks at the pub down the road. We could hear all these screams and shouts of delight and happiness, and I thought 'How can anyone be so happy, and carefree, when someting so HUGE has just happened?' I felt as though nothing would ever be the same again, and, of course, it hasn't been. But things do get better, and you get used to that person not being there, even though you miss them dreadfully.
Smiley, if you feel like you're fine, maybe you're dealing with it, and you are fine. You've done really well on here, describing your feelings and working through them, so hopefully you will just keep feeling ok. Sometimes, we expect to feel a certain way, and it's a bit of a surprise to find we don't. But keep looking after yourself, and allow yourself to feel whatever comes along. You're still very vulnerable after what's happened, and you can expect to go up and down.
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