Advice needed.

[connieruff]

Hi

My son has 2 friends, one of them a very recent one, who helped him when he was being bullied. I'll call them Jack and Peter. Jacks dad I've known for a while, he is a big, rude, loud bully and I endure him because his son is a very good friend of my son. Hardly anyone talks to him any more as he has upset so many people.

Peters mum is a single mum with a new baby, in a new relationship.

Last week I took all three boys out for a lovely day out, they had a good time, but Peter bit Jack on the arm. Peter has a bit of a temper and I tried to stop it but as I was driving there was not much I could do. I asked Jack if he was OK, and he said yes he was fine.

When we got to the end of the day I took them into some woods and they were really having a good time. The father of Jack came over to pick us up and we all walked together in the woods for the last half hour. However, Jacks dad started to swear, in front of the children, and before I could say something, he said to Peter You mum gets her 'boobs' out to ge a rich man' (I've changed the words a bit) I could not believe what I was hearing - and before I could say anything, Jack said 'yes dad and her go to bed together, I've seen you! '

 

I was so upset, I went back to the car and Jacks dad found out about the bite and continued to rant and rave at Peter, I took them home and told Peters mum about it, and she said Jacks dad was often horrible to her son and she has decided to stop them seeing each other. Although she continues to see Jacks dad.

However as a result Peters mum and Jacks dad had a row with a lot of emails flyng about. Now both of them are blaming and I have had several really nasty emails sent to me and I have come to the conclusion that what has happened is they were having some sort of affair and I have stepped into what is a lovers tiff.

Now my son has no friends at school at all to play with, he really liked both boys, and I feel so sorry for them. Peter never used to go anywhere, but play on his playstation, he was really enjoying his days out with me and my son, his mum has never let his own father see him, she says he's unstable so Peter has no contact at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Squirrel]

What an awful situation. And such a shame for you and your son, caught in the middle.

I'm just about to post asking for advice in my Robin making friends so I can really feel your pain inyour son losing them through no fault of his own.

 

I would hope that given a normal level of pleasantries, perhaps keeping up the occasional invitations, that Peter's Mum will settle down and that this will 'blow over', especially if she sees Jack's Dad for being not quite as nice a person as she once thought ....

 

Of course I don't know what the emails blaming you touched on - if you were driving there waasn't really much you could do about one child injuring another .... and at least it wasn't your child that did the injuring.

 

I think I would make an effort to maintain pleasantries and occasional e-mails inviting Peter to something, invitations coming from your son. As much as to say "I know you did not like the way I handled X but my son would still like to spend time with your son"

 

Good Luck,

Helen

[smiley1590]

your son oviously more vulnerable and at disadvantage compared to NT children especially in social situations can be both frustrating for both child and parents!