Should I be concerned about this?

[cathyz]

Hi

 

I stood at the school gates today and over heard a parent telling another about what her son had come home and said last night. Which was that his teacher who had been on a teacher swop the week before had told the class about how a pupil (who she named, gave the year & school) had ran out of her class & couldn't be found & his parents were fetched & the police were involved. She went back to teaching the class and later asked who was whistling & no one was & the boy who had ran out was found hiding in a box in the classroom.

 

At the end of last week I was waiting at the school gates and the Head had come out and had mentioned a brief bit about this to nobody in particular just 2 other parents & me, and I was really bothered that it seemed a lack of judgement on his part. But now this and so I asked my son if his teacher had enjoyed her teacher swop and had she talked about it and he repeated exactly what I'd heard at the school gates tonight.

 

So what I'm questioning is the reason for telling this to a class of 10 year olds, and disclosing so much information about the child involved, because I can't seem to see one other than fueling the gossip at the school gates when the children come home and repeat what they've been told and gaining the sympathy of the parents tonight saying what a hellish time this teacher must have had!

 

Probably to some people this all seems relatively harmless but as a parent of children with additional needs who has had a child do exactly what this teacher described with the same outcomes (police, searches etc) it hits a raw nerve and I certainly would have been very unhappy to think that it was a subject of common gossip when it happened to me.

 

So now I'm left wondering about what the 'professionals' in my sons school say about him and us and to whom too, how can I have any trust in them not to be disclosing my sons difficulties to all and sundry?

 

I suppose the first move is a letter explaining my concerns, I don't feel I can talk to the staff involved without getting emotional (eg really ###### angry)!

 

Comments wanted good, bad, rational(losing that here), honest.

 

Thanks

Edited June 17, 2009 by cathyz

[Mum of 3]

Hi Cathy,

 

I think you're right to be concerned. It does seem as though this boy's actions are being gossipped about by all and sundry, without any of the staff involved looking for the reasons behind the behaviour. Certainly, if that had happened in my classroom I would have been ashamed of having mishandled the class so badly that a child could hide in a box without me noticing!

 

It is absolutely unprofesional of the staff to tell the pupils what has happened, unless it's in a sort of 'don't try this yourselves' way, in assembly, or something. I can see a Headteacher standing up and telling the story of the boy who thought it was a funny trick to hide in a box, but look at the trouble he caused, and think of how dangerous that could have been, etc...But it sounds as though what's happened here is that it's being repeated for the shock value, and that can only cause that boy involved to want to do this thing more- either as a way of getting attention, or if he thinks it's a way to escape.

 

I often feel the way you do..that the teachers at school will 'gossip' to certain parents, so important information is 'leaked' into the playground and told to those parents in the clique, but the rest of us have no idea. I'm currently toying with the idea of going to the head to ask about the teachers for next year-apparantly, one teacher told his class two weeks ago about a planned change around of teachers, and of course all those children told their parents, but we've not heard anything officially yet!

 

When I was teaching, anything that got 'leaked' would immediately be followed up with a letter to all parents as an excercise in damage limitation...there may have been good reasons not to make the info public, but once a few know, it's always better to come out and tell everyone.

 

If I were you, I'd put it all down in writing about what has happened and why you're concerned and ask for a written response from the Head and Chair of Governors. You should be looking for them expressing concern that a child's behaviour is being discussed in such an open way, and they should also be able to explain to you how they are going to ensure that any incidents that may occur with your child in the future are not treated as common gossip in the same way.

 

hope this helps..I'm as shocked as you are, for what it's worth!

[puffin]

I think that you are very right to be concerned if staff are gossiping publicly about named pupils - is appears totally unprofessional

 

I would recommend a letter to the Chair of Governors and perhaps the LEA

[Sally44]

I agree with the other posts.

I think a well worded letter would be useful.

My son used to go to a school where I frequently saw another child 'escape' from and on two occasions had to help the teacher catch them! This did not give me any confidence that that school were capable of keeping their eye on my son who has a tendency to hide, and who managed to block the school pipes 3 times without anyone noticing that he was not in the classroom. And as you say, having a child like that makes you hyper sensitive to anything you hear via the playground.

I would send in a letter just explaining what you heard being said by another child, parents and which was confirmed by your own child and say that you are concerned, as you have a special needs child, what the school policy is regarding discussing incidents in this way so that it becomes gossip in the playground or between parents. How a teacher reacts and talks about a pupil and their behaviour can have a huge impact on how the other children treat them.

That may put them on their guard towards you, which you have to consider. But it might also show them that you are watching and are aware of what is going on, and that may make them pay attention a bit more.