Hello, would just like some advice please

[marmitemummy]

Hi,

 

I have just joined the forum as I would like some advice please on my 7 year old son, I just have a feeling something isn't quite right . I know from reading your posts that some of you are dealing with really difficult situations so thank you in advance.

 

We first noticed something when he was just over one, he started only eating a very limited range of food and when old enough to choose would only wear the same clothes and would scream if faced with a new item of clothing. He would 'fix on' to certain items and would need to have them with him all the time and would carry them round in a bag. Whe he started nursery (he was 3 and 1/2) he didn't speak very well and was hard to understand, he would have certain toys that he had to have and was really distressed if someone was playing with them - he would collect them all in a dressing up handbag (!)and carry them with him. When I say distressed it wasn't just that he cried it was just I could tell he couldn't cope if he didn't have them.

 

He has a very strong sense of smell and sound, for example my husband took him to a football match but he was upset by the noise and refuses point blank to go again. He won't have food touching on the plate, it has to be cut up in the same way. He has to go on the same swing in the park even if he has to wait for ages and there are others free. When he plays with toys he has to have them all lined up and keeps moving them just a fraction to make sure they are in the right place. When we are out he can't keep still and is always touching stuff. He will still only eat the same food as when he was one and likes to wear the same clothes and I can only describe it as him being unable to cope with the thought of anything new no matter how awkward it makes things for him.

 

But saying this, he is doing fine at school (teachers commented on his handbag!!! behaviour at nursery but nothing since) . He has no problem showing affection and you can converse with him just like any other 7 year old. He is very imaginative and misses nothing.

 

The reason for me asking for advice is that we have always put these thing down to it just being 'him' , my friends describe him as quirky!!! But his ways do have quite an effect on our family life and I think if we could accept that he just can't help it - which I am convinced he can't - that we would all be so much happier. I original looked for help down the 'food disorder' route but to be honest I think that is just a symptom of something else.

 

Any coments would be much appreciated

Sarah xx

[mumtothree]

hi there and welcome

quite a few things u have mentioned reminds me of my son. the food issues, the clothing, the fixing on to things. how long has he been like this?

personally i would go and see your gp and ask to be referred to a community paed. my son is waiting to be diagnosed with autism he dont show many of traits at school, some he does ie covering his ears and has the communication, interaction and imagination difficulties but hes worse at home with obsessions, senstivity etc.

in the mean time keep a diary of what u find to be "odd" never know what word to use but what u think isnt quite right. but i would definatly speak to ur gp about ur concerns and ask for a app with the community paed.

 

have the school not picked up on anything? maybe they just have notiched to much 30 kids in a class is hard to pick up all of ther behaviour i feel.

 

hang in there and good luck

 

[marmitemummy]

hi there and welcome

quite a few things u have mentioned reminds me of my son. the food issues, the clothing, the fixing on to things. how long has he been like this?

personally i would go and see your gp and ask to be referred to a community paed. my son is waiting to be diagnosed with autism he dont show many of traits at school, some he does ie covering his ears and has the communication, interaction and imagination difficulties but hes worse at home with obsessions, senstivity etc.

in the mean time keep a diary of what u find to be "odd" never know what word to use but what u think isnt quite right. but i would definatly speak to ur gp about ur concerns and ask for a app with the community paed.

 

have the school not picked up on anything? maybe they just have notiched to much 30 kids in a class is hard to pick up all of ther behaviour i feel.

 

hang in there and good luck

 

[marmitemummy]

Hi,

Thanks very much for that, I guess I have just put things off, just thinking I was being silly. The idea to write thing down is a good one as there are lots of times I think things are 'odd'. It started when he was just over one, up until then he was fine, he would eat anything and seemed very content.

 

School has never picked up on anything but I think as he has got older he knows what he 'should' be like and can cover for himself (if that makes sense), as he stopped with the handbag thing at nursery (not home) because the other kids commented. I think he just avoids any situations which might make him stand out as different but that worries me because he goes to Junior school in September and I know it will be harder for him. Like you said his behaviour is worse at home but thats because he can just be himself.

 

How old is your son

 

Thanks again

[thomastank]

Hi,

Thanks very much for that, I guess I have just put things off, just thinking I was being silly. The idea to write thing down is a good one as there are lots of times I think things are 'odd'. It started when he was just over one, up until then he was fine, he would eat anything and seemed very content.

 

School has never picked up on anything but I think as he has got older he knows what he 'should' be like and can cover for himself (if that makes sense), as he stopped with the handbag thing at nursery (not home) because the other kids commented. I think he just avoids any situations which might make him stand out as different but that worries me because he goes to Junior school in September and I know it will be harder for him. Like you said his behaviour is worse at home but thats because he can just be himself.

 

How old is your son

 

Thanks again

 

 

Hello, welcome to the board. My son was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism last year, he is nearly 5 now and about to finish reception. When I was first looking down the Autism/Aspergers route I found this website very useful as it seemed to tick a lot of boxes for my son.

 

www.researchautism.net

 

There is a good list in Asperger Syndrome 'issues'. Obviously he might not be on the spectrum at all but it might help you to tick/untick some boxes and give you more info for your diary.

 

Good luck x

 

 

 

[thomastank]

 

 

 

Hello, welcome to the board. My son was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism last year, he is nearly 5 now and about to finish reception. When I was first looking down the Autism/Aspergers route I found this website very useful as it seemed to tick a lot of boxes for my son.

 

www.researchautism.net

 

There is a good list in Asperger Syndrome 'issues'. Obviously he might not be on the spectrum at all but it might help you to tick/untick some boxes and give you more info for your diary.

 

Good luck x

 

 

 

[Sally44]

It is a good idea to write things down as previously suggested.

Those on the spectrum usually have difficulties with language, social communication and interaction and lack of imagination and a need for rigid routines. The things you have mentioned have ticked a number of those boxes. But the only way to be sure is for a full assessment by a multi disciplinary team that has experience of diagnosing ASDs. Ask your GP for a referal.

School should really have picked this up.

The difference between an ASD and Aspergers is usually whether the child had typical language development up to age 3. However those with Aspergers also have language and social communication difficulties are part of the diagnosis.

Alot of the other things you mention are Sensory issues. Most, if not all, those with an ASD/Aspergers have sensory differences which can range between over and under sensitive and can fluctuate between the two.

A good book on Sensory issues if Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autisim and Aspergers by Olga Bogdashina. She is speaking at the NAS Harrogate conference in July - don't know if that is close to you.

It is also possible for anyone to have traits or characteristics of any disorder but not enough of them to get a diagnosis, but again full indepth assessments need to be carried out.

If he is doing okay in school academically that is great. As he has rigid ways of doing things (ie. only in one way), is he having any difficulties with subjects at school where they show them a different way to do things ie. does he stick to the way he has learnt and cannot adapt? That might be something he begins to have difficulties with as the academic side gets more complicated.

Also remember that any 'needs' a child has because of difficulties they experience, should be met and supported in the school environment. So just because he is doing okay academically does not mean he has no difficulties or that they don't need to do anything about it. For example, if he has some language and social communication/play difficulties then those should be assessed by a Speech and Language Therapist and structures put in place in school to support him. That might include starting a Social Skills group, Circle of Friends, Dinner time clubs, Social Stories etc.

From what you have posted I recognise the distress you talk about when things don't go to plan, or his need for his toys or sameness etc. It isn't being naughty. I would have said my son appeared devastated or even traumatised when things did not go as planned or expected and would get distressed to such an extent it could affect him for hours afterwards.

[marmitemummy]

Many thanks for your replies, we have just tried over the last few days to put some of the suggestions that we have read on the forum into practise and have found them useful. I intend to speak to our GP about him and will keep you inform. Hope all goes well for you and thanks again.