Hi

[JackieA]

Hi my son has just been diagnosed with mild/moderated ASD, he is 13 years old and had a pretty rough time at primary school where they periodically told me there was something wrong with him but not actually saying what and after numerous assessments with educational psychologists in the classroom he was described as immature.

I pushed for an assessment when the latest educational psychologist made a list of Christophers achievements and what he was good at!!

Christopher is described as quirky and finds it hard picking up on facial expressions and socialising with his peers yet is great with young children and adults, what I find frustrating is that his friends he had at primary dont what to know him anymore as they are scared of getting bullied because he is quirky. I have shed quite a few tears at the thought of him beeing on his own at Secondary school.

The school has been good where they have allocated a base place at lunchtime where he can go and use computers and be safe but he wants to be part of group of friends.

He has really struggled with his diagnosis and it doesnt matter how many times we tell him that we love him the way he is and we wouldnt want to change him he is still angry at me for taking him to the psychologist he feels that there is nothing wrong with him and he doesnt have any of the characteristics of asperegers.

I used to push Christopher out to play with his friends when he would have rather been inside tinckering on his xbox, computer but after diagnosis I understand a lot better and dont push anymore as I realise that he isnt comfortable.

 

[bid]

Welcome to the forum

 

Bid

[dontjudgehim]

I Jackie - I am new too and totally sympathise with you. i'm afraid I cant offer and advice as I am asking for it too (see my [post).

 

All I can say it i know how stressful it can be when all you want is the best for your kids.

 

I for one, am with you.

 

 

[smiley1590]

common for alot people in assessments by pyschlogists we just described labelled as 'immature' instead look into deeper to that just sign of something hidden if look close enough maybe be able to see! i'm not good with my peers due to AS can relate to younger children like your son as maybe feel closer and understand them more! is there not SEN group where doesn't feel like it is but still within group of people his age and differences he can cope and deal with without getting stressed is there certain clubs or hobby groups within school that he could try with support adult in room but not with him just there if needs reassurance guidance there not group of people that use the computers could he not invite few people to join him whos he trusts alot! i used to use that term that didn't think my parents love him anymore i think this is frustration and bitterness of finding out he's 'different' in some way however much you reassure it knock his confidence /esteem struggling to cope and deal with the official diagnosis so feelings of anger and denial of nothings wrong with me is normal as part of process of it sinking in!

 

i went through similiar thoughts and feelings and still do! he's angry for taking him to pyschlogist because in his eyes this taking him out of his safe omfort zone of trying to push it away igorn and just pretend that it isn't him! it hard thing to accept and get your head around it takes time,patience and encouragement,love and care he may find compliments such as" we love you anyway, we don't want to change you"! difficult to bear and may think there's no real true fact in that due to his AS he'll try and not accept that you do because this hard to swallow as boosts confidence

 

im glad you don't push to socialise as this at the moment may be step too far with everything else going on his in life! alot AS people stay on xbix computers as socially isolated anxious frustrated so don't see the point in going any further with skill and development may just take more time to get there!

 

does he work well with pyschologist? does he accept the work/homework? or push it away at the moment?

i can really personally relate to this experience and situation i been through all this myself!

 

good luck

take care

XKLX

[Tally]

Hi Jackie, and welcome to the forum.

 

Have you looked into any social groups for teenagers with AS/ASD in your area? It might be a good place for Christopher to make friends who won't be put off by his quirkiness. Computers and gaming are VERY common interests for people with ASD, so it's likely he would find someone else with the same interest.

[dana]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

Danaxxx