fozzylozzy Report post Posted July 11, 2009 Just dropping by to say hello! Our 7 year-old daughter E is currently being assessed for AS. We had our first assessment with a Paediatrician last Monday, who came to the conclusion that there is enough evidence to send her for assessments with the rest of the core diagnostic team (Psychologist and Speech and Language Therapist). I'm not sure how common this is (as we're relatively new to all of this), but our DD shows very little AS traits at school - comes home and BOOM! In fact her class teacher looked at me rather strangely when asking her to complete the relevant forms - most of the answers she ticked were "very little" or "not at all" in relation to AS behaviour at school. That made me feel that maybe we're imagining things, or is it our parenting skills at fault? But then I look at our other daughter who is a typically normal 5 year-old and shows no signs of any emotional or behavioural difficulties what-so-ever and is very easy to parent. My DH has acknowledged that he has some AS traits, which we can also see in other members of his family. So that's us at the moment, a bit unsure where this journey is taking us....... Louisa x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted July 11, 2009 i know it may seem and feel like personally you are to blame for thiz situation happening in your lives it normal process reaction common of guilt,blame i could done more could stopped it if only i been better parent why our other daughter turned out 'normal' as such why us? leaves so many confusion sense of grief ,loss many parents feel there own bad parenting that causes this! but i can't reassure you it so isn't! even though may strongly believe and feel this right now it tough hard time one worse going through assessment and diagnosis stage like being on emotional rollercoaster full of shocks and surprises also parents sometimes think maybe they adding things on diagnosis list for sake of it! but this not right fact even though firmly believe that true too! your probably known she always been 'different' to other children and noticed signs which now add up to bigger picture that coming out clearer! please don't be too harsh and hard on yourselves you didn't ask or pray that your daughter had this wrong with her! if you can see other signs showing in family could be possible traits and signs! you see it more clearly now your daughter going through this too! makes more ovious! same with me too when i assessed and officially diagnosed i can see signs /traits in 2 mine family members on my mum's side mother and daughter they show many signs i got i along with other family member belive high possiblity they have it just accepted it was them being them! i believe something more undiagnosed as really wasn't a term used medical condition when growing up just negativly labelled all time which must be so hard difficult at times knowing you can't help and control it! they've done really well without answers so can be done be easier and better with them that's for sure!m i think open your eyes to other things that out there that you don't hear and know about properly due to lack understanding and knowledge in society! instead judgements and stereotypes formed in everyone's minds so wrong! when need help and support! i can't imagine as parent going through this ride trying to sail it out for the best cope and deal with everyday challenges but i can try begin understand the hurt and pain it causes throughout each area of everything the not knowing just wondering guessing ... i know as sufferer how battling with it is tiring fighting all time and must be same for parents! maybe DH ticked on form not at all very little -may herself she confused over who she is! doesn't know what to do to accept it! to wants run away from realising she got these problems! did she understand fully what form was about did tick same for everything on there? glad assessment process has started finally for you all! maybe get some blank questions filled with some kind of truth of what going on how it is? what really happening for you all in your lives!? glad being send to other core diagnostic teams of professionals for more assessments which may help this process quicker uncover things hiding she struggles with! have u read books on AS for parents? and also on NAS website if officially diagnosed with an ASD you all need as much help and support as possible with coming terms and accepting it fully takes while to sink it! and not deny it! you may feel many different kinds of emotions ,thoughts and feelings the professionals probably explain this to you all! i think at beginning of this jounery every parent and family unit unsure where this could lead and take them to different place and world that is scary thinking you life could change with assessments and diagnosis! does your 'normal' daughter know her sister different in some way? does she know she may need more time attention at times to help her in life? may seem long road -but hopefully feel worth it in the end of this! good luck with everything! take care XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 11, 2009 Hello, and welcome to the forum. Many children cope well with the regimented nature of the school day, and others "hold in" their stress and then let it all out at the end of the day. There may be changes the school need to make in order to help her. You should make sure that she is observed at home as part of the diagnostic process, as observing her in school may not give them any useful evidence. You could also try videoing her when she comes home from school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted July 11, 2009 Hi Louisa and welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
