public rudeness

[NobbyNobbs]

i rarely enjoy having AS but one situation i do like it is when i can say/do something other people would feel bad about. ie - in the supermarket when an entire aisle is blocked by women gossiping, i will loudly say that they are too busy gossiping to move out of the way. usually gets a good glare... but they move

 

we live in a big tourist area (blue flag beach) the other day we were walking along the footpath minding our own business when a woman on a bike dinged her bell, and told us to get out of the way she needed to get past... we were startled so moved over onto the verge and she rode past on the path, trailed by 6 kids all also on bikes!! they weren't little kids and clearly should've been on the road. i said (possibly rather loudly) that it was it was a footpath, not a road, and the woman stopped her bike and stood there glaring at me. fortunately we took a corner before we caught up to her or i'd have had to have a few more words about selfish women who think they can treat everyone else like rubbish just because they're on holiday.

 

we've also been told off for mowing our lawn at 10am on a saturday because people are on holiday and don't want to hear that noise... so i now make a point of mowing the lawn every week during the summer holidays, nice and early.

 

perhaps i'm just a rude person, but i really rather enjoy these few times i have the confidence to stand up for myself. i think my mother finds it pretty funny too, i get a lot of smiles when i've said things i shouldn't.

 

anyone else do this?

[BillyX]

LOL @ Nobby

 

I just love doing things like that ..... people tell me to shush, but I have to say to them . I am expressing an honest opinion, it`s only the liars and tittle tattlers that whisper and talk under thier breath.

 

SHOUT IT OUT NOBBY!!!!

[Tally]

Your examples of your "rudeness" are not really what I would think of as rudeness. It's not like you have deliberately upset someone for no reason, or said something hurtful about them.

 

You do need to be careful though because, even if you are in the right, some people become aggressive when challenged in this way.

 

I never do things like this even though I would very much like to. I am generally so scared of saying the wrong thing that I would say nothing. And on occasions it would not occur to me to say anything. If someone was blocking a supermarket aisle, I would probably go around the next aisle and approach the product I wanted from the other end, and then later realise I could have saved a lot of time by saying, "excuse me please."

[something_different]

nah i am too quiet to say anything, lol

 

but also wld not make an effort to cut the grass early every week purely to annoy others.

[NobbyNobbs]

but also wld not make an effort to cut the grass early every week purely to annoy others.

its a combination of it being mildly entertaining to remember the comment and getting to the mower before my father does and then having to sit there for 2 hours worrying about him having a heart attack while he mows the lawn (or more often mows half and gets bored ... its not that early, i wouldn't do it before 10 and thats practically halfway through the day!

[BillyX]

Its not often I make a big point about disagreeing ....however Nobby, I have to say I am really not with you on this point.

10am is pretty close to the start of my day sometimes. And certainly not the middle ........ JK. (Just Kidding)

[LordGorse]

One thing I can't abide is when I'm walking down the street and a bunch of people are coming the other way, spread right across the width of the pavement and they refuse to budge, expecting me to step onto the road to get round them I walk as close to one side side as I can get and if they still don't move I walk through them No one ever says anything though; I'm 6 foot 3 inches and around 15 stone

[scoops]

Caution, you are batting on a sticky wicket there, where would you draw the line between assertiveness and rudness / aggression? It's probably not what you are saying, but how you are saying it.

[zaman]

Whenever I see adults cycling on the pavement I point out that it is for pedestrians. They are the rude (and dangerous) ones, not us.

[NobbyNobbs]

Whenever I see adults cycling on the pavement I point out that it is for pedestrians. They are the rude (and dangerous) ones, not us.

yup, i'm with you on that one. in this instance there was a very wide (5 metre) verge running on the inside of the footpath, we had a pushchair and toddler with us so couldn't walk on it (plus same lovely touristies dont clear up after their dogs). was just all very rediculous.

 

mind you, i dont recon much to the morals of the average from-london tourist... they also leave used nappies in the road outside our house!!

[chris54]

we've also been told off for mowing our lawn at 10am on a saturday because people are on holiday and don't want to hear that noise...

 

Well I should think so, everyone know that it is the law that you should mow your lawn on Sunday mornings starting no later that 7am. And that you must use a very loud petrol mower. That's the law.

[ScienceGeek]

Whenever I see adults cycling on the pavement I point out that it is for pedestrians. They are the rude (and dangerous) ones, not us.

 

sometimes the cycle path is on the pavement, I know they are around here at least.

[chris54]

sometimes the cycle path is on the pavement, I know they are around here at least.

 

We have some fantastic cycle/foot paths round here. The one that runs from our village into the main town about 4 miles away runs along the side of the main road. How can I describe it. Well to sum it up it is a strip of tarmac in the grass verge about 18 inches wide which cyclists and pedestrians are supposed to share.

[NobbyNobbs]

sometimes the cycle path is on the pavement, I know they are around here at least.

what's a cycle path? we dont have those round here . its all very sedate round here, average age is about 80 and the must-have transport accessory is one of those motorized mobility scooters with the arm rests so that you can get to the pub and back without falling over.

[BillyX]

LOL @ Nobby

 

I have seen cycle paths in Norwich. But we have pull-ins along our roads so that cars coming in the oposite direction can pass each other. We have a bridge on one part of the road and you have to watch for motorists coming towards you. Only room for one on the bridge.

Can`t see us having a cycle path soon.

 

Gimingham, Norfolk.

[Tally]

Children under a certain age are allowed to cycle on the pavement anyway. A cyclist is more like a pedestrian than a car in my opinion, and some roads are very dangerous to cycle on. But when I cycle on the pavement, I am always careful to respect pedestrians' right of way, going onto the road if necessary. This is more than pedestrians do on shared cycle paths and pavements, even when there is a great big domed white line down the middle with a picture of a bike painted in one of the lanes.

[NobbyNobbs]

this is a 30mph quiet country road and the kids were all on big bikes. fair enough if its a little tot with stablizers or one of those tiny little bikes, but this wasn't so. i'm also pretty sure that cyclists are meant to give priority to pedestrians unless its a designated shared path. this woman rang her bell and told me to get out of the way so she was just rude.

[Mumble]

Whenever I see adults cycling on the pavement I point out that it is for pedestrians. They are the rude (and dangerous) ones, not us.

Various things recently have taught me to realise that although we may assume people are being rude or unthoughtful, this is only one possible explanation of many for their actions. Parents (and adults on the spectrum) can be quick on here to say that 'the public' jump to conclusions about their child's/their behaviour without thinking about the reason behind it but the same is happening here.

 

For instance:

• the person/people we are trying to get past on the pavement may not understand a request to 'excuse me', could be deaf and actually didn't hear, etc. etc.
• the adult riding on the pavement may have a very valid reason - I have been told by medical professionals only to ride on pavements (or cycle paths) because if I were to have a seizure whilst cycling in traffic I put others in danger - they may not have a reason and may be being unthoughtful but we can't know this just by looking at them
• the person who is 'rude' in not giving up a seat on a bus to someone older may be in greater need of the seat, even if this is not a visible need

Personally, I would judge the thought out rude response to perceived rudeness as far more problematic than the perceived rude behaviour. We can't find assumed rudeness in others unacceptable and then meet it with rudeness in return.

 

[Kathryn]

Mumble

 

 

I agree with everything in your post.

 

I think very few people set out to be deliberately obnoxious, and many confontations are due to misunderstandings which escalate into conflict, often because one or both participants are feeling irritable for reasons entirely unconnected with the situation.

 

Not preaching to anyone here - I am frequently guilty of the odd sarky comment myself when people obstruct me! Depends on my mood.

 

K x

 

 

[Teresa]

We were woken up last saturday and sunday at 8 in the morning with neighbours repaving their drive ie: cutting up stone slabs only just washed my car with all the dust my car was covered. We did not say anything was angry though and tired.

 

Nobbynobbs I think that 10 am is not to early to mow your lawn and you live there and the holiday makers don't, however i am always careful and try not to confront people, I once did this when i was pulling off from school in my car once, and this unpleansant man came flying up behind me almost touching my bumper then overtook when a car was coming other way, and i flashed my lights at him, because the previous day a child had been knocked over on the same road, he slamed on his breaks got out of his car started swearing at me,at this point i was still in my car thinking is this guy for real then he got down to my level and looked further into the car and then saw my daughter said a few more swear words then left thank god. So I guess what i am trying to say is I am now every careful who I approach.

 

Teresa

[Kathryn]

I'm usually careful who I approach but I remember an occasion where I was in my local playground with my young son and there were 4 or 5 large teenage boys congregated at the top of the slide - as they do. Several parents were muttering because their young children couldn't use the slide. I approached them somewhat crossly, demanded that they get off the slide so the young children could use it, and braced myself for the inevitable abusive response.

 

They all immediately left, one of them smiled pleasantly and said, "Sorry, It's just that we never had aything like this when we were kids".

 

You never can tell.

 

K x

[Teresa]

Glad you had a good response Kathryn it's nice to hear, it could have turned out different, lucky they were nice boys of which i am sure there are many, and yes you can't go on look's your right.

 

Teresa

 

[NobbyNobbs]

i think its all down to circumstance. i would happily accept that the woman needed to ride on the path for whatever reason, but it wasn't just her, was a convoy of people who most likely dont all have medical conditions and i've seen it so many times before. they are the same people who park across our drive rather than pay £2 for the car park, leave rubbish, clothes, soiled nappies etc in the path/road rather than take them home or find a bin, dont clean up after their dogs and then complain when they aren't treated as a 'local' by the people who live here. mind you, its a creates a great community spirit with the people who do live here all year so its not all bad .

 

i would never directly confront someone, i just find myself pointing out these little oddities then think i probablyl shouldn't have. the people who complained about the mower come down for a couple of weeks in the summer holidays and keep us awake all night singing, so i think we've sort of agreed an unofficial compromise - they make noise at night, we make noise in the morning.

[zaman]

It was a very long time ago that I studied the Highway Code, but I'm fairly sure it is illegal for cyclists to ride on the pavement - because it is dangerous. We have narrowly avoided injury in the past when my kids were small and would not necessarily walk in a straight line, only to have a cyclist zoom up, missing a child by inches.

[Mumble]

It was a very long time ago that I studied the Highway Code, but I'm fairly sure it is illegal for cyclists to ride on the pavement - because it is dangerous.

It's a tricky one - partly because the HC is written with drivers as its main audience. The new edition states something like (and I'm paraphrasing as I don't have a copy to hand) "Cyclists must use cycle tracks, advanced boxes ... [loads of other things] ... unless at the particular time of riding it would be unsafe to do so". It does also say you should not ride on pavements as well as talking about how to ride across pavements - i.e. contradictory. There is a fine for riding on pavements but this is discretionary and relates to many other associated misdemeanours including riding dangerously, being drunk and riding, not having working lights or dazzling pedestrians with lights, not using a bell to signal your presence to pedestrians etc.

 

As with every group/activity in society a few can create a bad name for many - I've been nearly knocked down by a cyclist going through a red light when I was walking across the road, but that doesn't make all cyclists evil, bad, rude people who are there to cause trouble to pedestrians. Most are perfectly fine wherever they cycle as they do so in a considerate manner. We just don't notice the considerate and/or rule-abiding people in society because they do nothing to make us notice them.

 

[Mumble]

I got interested and looked it up

 

Basically, cycling on pavements counts as an 'offence'. Then it says:

 

"The enforcement of cycling offences is an operational matter for local police forces. The police use the Fixed Penalty Notice (FPN) of £30, which provides them with a direct means of dealing with most minor offences. The Road Traffic Act 1991 makes the two most serious cycling offences parallel to those of dangerous and careless driving. The maximum fines are currently £2,500 for dangerous cycling and £1,000 for careless cycling."

 

Essentially, unless you are acting in a dangerous or careless way, you are unlikely to face a fine (unless Mr Plod is having a bad day and gives you a fixed penalty - but generally they use their discretion if you are being sensible and not causing a problem to anyone else). Also it goes on to note that fixed penalties can not be given to children under 16 so there is no fine for them cycling on pavements and again the police should use their discretion and that warning/educating about potentially dangerous behaviours would be more beneficial.

 

[LordGorse]

All this talk of cyclists reminded me of a couple of news stories from a few months ago: both involved cyclists hitting and killing pedestrians on pavements. One guy (who actually yelled at his victim "Get out of the way because I'm not stopping") was fined, no prison sentence. The second, a younger man, who admitted to being in the wrong and seemed genuinelly devestated by the incident, got a jail term.