holidays again

[lisac]

I hear you MelowMeldrew, my 22 year old son is the same . I have felt like you for years. It gets even worse when they leave school as there is NOTHING for them , here in London anyway . Thinking of you , its not easy is it .

It could be that all he needs right now is a long break from it all, no pressure at all, and he may slowly show some interest in different things as he gets older, may be not , if someone refuses point blank to do anything , there is not much any one can do, just keep trying at intervals , its all you can do .

 

Jeanne, I do the same, re the park, but am constantly on the lookout for babies and young children , as my son cant stand the crying and whining . What you suggest are great, excercise, music therapy and swimming . My son has to be in the right mood to do all this though and if he is made to do something when he isnt in the right frame of mind , he has been known to self injure or will stand still and refuse to budge, taking shoes off etc. Somewhere with a nice view, high up, he seems to like at the moment, as he is so sensory , could try this .

Edited August 22, 2009 by lisac

[MelowMeldrew]

I hear you MelowMeldrew, my 22 year old son is the same . I have felt like you for years. It gets even worse when they leave school as there is NOTHING for them , here in London anyway . Thinking of you , its not easy is it .

It could be that all he needs right now is a long break from it all, no pressure at all, and he may slowly show some interest in different things as he gets older, may be not , if someone refuses point blank to do anything , there is not much any one can do, just keep trying at intervals , its all you can do .

 

Jeanne, I do the same, re the park, but am constantly on the lookout for babies and young children , as my son cant stand the crying and whining . What you suggest are great, excercise, music therapy and swimming . My son has to be in the right mood to do all this though and if he is made to do something when he isnt in the right frame of mind , he has been known to self injure or will stand still and refuse to budge, taking shoes off etc. Somewhere with a nice view, high up, he seems to like at the moment, as he is so sensory , could try this .

 

 

This has been the hardest summer holiday for us since he was born, absolutely no cooperation or involvements for the entire time, every hour of every day was pretty much frustrations and confrontations too..... We'll sleep all day when he starts school, or move lol. We know there is nothing after too, which doesn't exactly encourage positivity does it ! I continue in the belief it must be so much harder for him, it's about 50-50 at present I found one positive in confrontation funny enough a desire to communicate, we got a few extra words besides no...... Unfortunately I lack the energy to do that around the clock at present, and he can keep it up for 4 hours at a time....

[frogslegs]

MellowMeldrew, I did not mean to offend you believe me and I feel grateful that my son is only mildly affected. I am not in anyway judging you. Every child is different and I am quite lucky that I have been able to go away with my children (on my own as my husband cannot face all this). I drove over 2000 miles on my own with my kids and went to visit my mother (did not stay with her as she is elderly).

I can motivate ds to go out as, as I say, he loves the peace of nature, so we often walk 7 or 8 miles and take a pack lunch. At home it is difficult to steer him from computer/playstation/tv which if he uses too much (beyond one hour) makes him agressive. He cannot go in the street because he gets bullied by the other children. He finds it very difficult to use his hands and gets frustrated so gets angry and slams door and traches bedroom. I don't tend to go to the park because he is very scared of teenagers who he feels are always talking about him. He swims a lot as it considerably reduces his stress level and he plays a musical instrument because he can concentrate on that and does reasonably well. We have two cats that he loves so he cuddles them a lot. He needs a lot of sleep (at least 12 hours) otherwise he is really unpleasant all day and things get really stressful. Often when I don't do anything with him he starts whining about boredom, life is worth nothing... and wants me to amuse him but I don't want to give in so I am afraid he has to get on with it. More often than not I then find him lying on his bedroom floor listening to a story on a tape or his relaxation CDs, playing with his cars, reading. It is better than nothing I completely agree, but it is still at times difficult.

 

[MelowMeldrew]

MellowMeldrew, I did not mean to offend you believe me and I feel grateful that my son is only mildly affected. I am not in anyway judging you. Every child is different and I am quite lucky that I have been able to go away with my children (on my own as my husband cannot face all this). I drove over 2000 miles on my own with my kids and went to visit my mother (did not stay with her as she is elderly).

I can motivate ds to go out as, as I say, he loves the peace of nature, so we often walk 7 or 8 miles and take a pack lunch. At home it is difficult to steer him from computer/playstation/tv which if he uses too much (beyond one hour) makes him agressive. He cannot go in the street because he gets bullied by the other children. He finds it very difficult to use his hands and gets frustrated so gets angry and slams door and traches bedroom. I don't tend to go to the park because he is very scared of teenagers who he feels are always talking about him. He swims a lot as it considerably reduces his stress level and he plays a musical instrument because he can concentrate on that and does reasonably well. We have two cats that he loves so he cuddles them a lot. He needs a lot of sleep (at least 12 hours) otherwise he is really unpleasant all day and things get really stressful. Often when I don't do anything with him he starts whining about boredom, life is worth nothing... and wants me to amuse him but I don't want to give in so I am afraid he has to get on with it. More often than not I then find him lying on his bedroom floor listening to a story on a tape or his relaxation CDs, playing with his cars, reading. It is better than nothing I completely agree, but it is still at times difficult.

 

 

His school gets the best of him I think ! He obviously feels intimidated via school and the surroundings, despite the fact they work brilliantly with him, so is meek, mostly silent, and occasionaly co-operative, when he gets home, we get complete silence for the first hour we must NOT talk to him, he is winding down. Then he can erupt like a pit pony that hasn't seen daylight for a few months. All the day's frustrations will be aimed at us. He stores it up......So a good day for the school means a bad time for many hours for us etc.

 

I rather fear he is calling ALL the shots at present, so we are going to have to seriously address this.... again ! So I expect even more issues with him as he opposes that too... I blame the onset of puberty, he is telling, or displaying to everyone he will NOT do anything at all now, to show he is an individual...and with all the energy and dedication to be being obstinate only an autistic can display ! Sitting back isn't an option for us either.... I sometimes feel the school is not as pro-active in insisting as they could be... if it is not addressed at school there are going to be huge issues when he leaves... I need them to back me up, but they seem reluctant to say no like we do... give them time outs all the time, which any child is going to exploit once they know the 'game' ! It gives a very misleading impression all around, because if his behaviour is reasonable at school but contentious at home, they will look to us, not him.