teenagers

[fairies72]

Hi

Sorry to burden everyone with my woes but am in desperate need of letting off steam. My son is currently driving me insane with the whole literal thing.

Diagnosed when he was 7, i quit my job to try and gain enough information to support and help my son in every way possible. At the moment he is beginning exams in secondary mainstream and so intelligent in lots of ways that make me proud. However at home im seeing a child that thinks he is an adult, that corrects my every saying and argues every point to the extreme.

I know that i should be used to this by now and especially as i work with special needs...maybe even more so. Maybe i am overdosing on Aspergers (hope that doesnt sound awful as not meant to)

I was kind of hoping as he got older that our relationship would become better and that things would get easier as i really want the best for him and his DX sis ...at the moment im feeling some resentment which i know isnt good.Im sure it'll pass. Thanks for listening.

[Cat]

Hi

Sorry to burden everyone with my woes but am in desperate need of letting off steam. My son is currently driving me insane with the whole literal thing.

Diagnosed when he was 7, i quit my job to try and gain enough information to support and help my son in every way possible. At the moment he is beginning exams in secondary mainstream and so intelligent in lots of ways that make me proud. However at home im seeing a child that thinks he is an adult, that corrects my every saying and argues every point to the extreme.

I know that i should be used to this by now and especially as i work with special needs...maybe even more so. Maybe i am overdosing on Aspergers (hope that doesnt sound awful as not meant to)

I was kind of hoping as he got older that our relationship would become better and that things would get easier as i really want the best for him and his DX sis ...at the moment im feeling some resentment which i know isnt good.Im sure it'll pass. Thanks for listening.

 

My 22 year old son is still like this which is probably not what you want to hear right now. I decided a few years ago that it was just the way he is and that I was just going to have to live with it - but it is not always easy I have another son who is also autistic and he is nothing like his brother thankfully, much as I love my eldest son he can be hard work. My youngest can be reasonable and does not feel the need to always labour a point unlike his elder brother, who will also argue every point even with my youngest. My eldest became much more fixed and rigid as he went through puberty and although I hoped that it would lessen with age so far it has not. Most of the time I can live with him the way he is but there are days when he leaves me feeling and but we are all only human.

 

Cat

[Karen A]

Hi. <'>

I think that intelligent Aspies can be very challenging partly because they are intelligent.I have Ben who is 11 and experience very similar frustrations to yourself.Ben is far more intelligent than me and can run round me in circles talking about subjects that he has researched.It is like talking with a teenager with the vocabulary of a university graduate but the emotional ability of a seven year old.

I do not have any answers although I am slowly learning to avoid engageing in heated debates that go no where other than becoming more agitated.

I used to be a nurse.I have worked with some very challenging people.I think that whatever professional experience one has it is very different with family who cannot be left at work and are so closely involved.

Karen.

[fairies72]

Yes thanks for the replies, i guess your both right. I just find it so frustrating. He is a mini dragons den in the making...not that this helps me now! Sometimes after, i wish i hadnt even questioned what was happening at the time (but isnt that part of parenting? and teaching choices)

I have to teach myself a way of not responding to the repetitive arguments he seems to want to always have. In another sense, this is the only social conversations we tend to have because everything is steered towards a discussion of Cons liking....and so on. I dont even play World Of Warcraft eeeeeeeeeek. really really trying to smile...

Lisaxx

[JsMum]

 

 

I too have moments of resentment, sometimes I feel guilt, sometimes shame and at times total dispair, but what I am is honest and go with the way Im feeling, I do see a therapist because I personally struggle raising a child with such complex social and communication difficulties, he is bright and quick and totally flippant that Im floored, my son is only just stepping into teenage years so I do get worried because I know there is more challenges to come yet and Im already struggling.

 

I personally would recommend a councellor or someone similair to discuss your feelings, its normal and quite oright, but its scary because we begin to be wholey honest with how we feel deep down when raising a child who have a complex developmental disability there is surprisingly a lot of deep root feelings.

 

As for feeling you should be use to it because you work with special needs, having a child that is emotionally attatched and your own its a whole different ball game, for one at work you can walk away and if needs be ask for a colleuge to take over but at home your emotionally and psychologically connected making it harder to walk away, its also 24/7 and for ever.

 

Personally I think your been really hard on yourself and at the end of the day were all human and have sensitive emotions that we have to face at times, if your feeling a little bit peed off right now, thats fine, go with it for a while and then look at ways to bring you back again, one is talk, two would be do some physcial workout and three a retreat and pamper session.

 

JsMumxxx

 

[minerva]

Hi

Sorry to burden everyone with my woes but am in desperate need of letting off steam.

 

Go for it! It makes me feel more normal! If that was ever possible!! Teenagers are satans spawn I think, especially 15 year old ones! lol <'>

[Mandapanda]

Hi

Sorry to burden everyone with my woes but am in desperate need of letting off steam. My son is currently driving me insane with the whole literal thing.

Diagnosed when he was 7, i quit my job to try and gain enough information to support and help my son in every way possible. At the moment he is beginning exams in secondary mainstream and so intelligent in lots of ways that make me proud. However at home im seeing a child that thinks he is an adult, that corrects my every saying and argues every point to the extreme.

I know that i should be used to this by now and especially as i work with special needs...maybe even more so. Maybe i am overdosing on Aspergers (hope that doesnt sound awful as not meant to)

I was kind of hoping as he got older that our relationship would become better and that things would get easier as i really want the best for him and his DX sis ...at the moment im feeling some resentment which i know isnt good.Im sure it'll pass. Thanks for listening.

 

Hi fairies72

 

We are here to be ranted at!

 

Could he be being even more literal than usual, or perhaps subconsciously trying to start arguments, due to extra stresses at or about school.

 

You might want to read the book 'Why are they so weird - what's really going on in the teenage brain', if your interested in brain development, as it may give you a different slant on the situation. I have found the best way is not to 'bite' when my eldest starts with this, though sometimes the words come out of my mouth before I can stop myself!!! It's really hard to detach yourself from their every word when it has been so important all their life, but as parents of teenagers I think we have to start to do this. My husband find this harder to do and thinks it is 'giving in to him', but it takes 2 to argue and often it is not important enough to argue about.

 

If you are feeling resentment (been there, got the T-shirt!!), can you take some time out (even if it's just in your head, by deciding to sit and read for half an hour or something)? It is draining and exhausting living with teenagers anyway, but pedantic ones are just totally infuriating