Hard time at school

[justine1]

Hi everyone

My son (6) is having a hard time at school,he takes long time to settle down after holidays so I was expecting a little bit of problems when he returned but it just seems to be getting worse.He missed two days last week because he had a cold and now loads of parents are complaining that he is smacking and just being unpleasant towards other kids some of whom are his "friends".I am really stressed about this,in April I considered home school but I am studying nursing degree so woudnt find time to educate him properly plus I have three other kids to think of.It does seem parents and teachers have not got a clue about Aspergers,I realise if things were the other way and my child was getting smacked I would not be happy but there is a reason he is not just a bully!I just feel like crying!

[av16]

Sorry your son is havimg such a bad time. Does he have any support in school? It's important that someone helps him with his social interactions, showing him how to behave. Does his school have a learning mentor? They could help him work/play with others in a more social situation. In my school we have lunchtime clubs to help children get along with each other whilst playing a game or making something. Ask the school how they are helping him. He needs to see good behaviour and he needs to know what isn't acceptable. It's also important to try and get him to stop now before he gets known for this type of behaviour.

 

I'm sure others will come on here and give you some advice but I'm sure this will improve if he gets the right sort of help.

 

Good luck

AV

[NickyB]

Hi everyone

My son (6) is having a hard time at school,he takes long time to settle down after holidays so I was expecting a little bit of problems when he returned but it just seems to be getting worse.He missed two days last week because he had a cold and now loads of parents are complaining that he is smacking and just being unpleasant towards other kids some of whom are his "friends".I am really stressed about this,in April I considered home school but I am studying nursing degree so woudnt find time to educate him properly plus I have three other kids to think of.It does seem parents and teachers have not got a clue about Aspergers,I realise if things were the other way and my child was getting smacked I would not be happy but there is a reason he is not just a bully!I just feel like crying!

 

Hi Justine. My son is also 6 and has similar problems. I would advise that you have a meeting with his teacher, and ask if the head teacher and SENCO can come along, too. It sounds from your post that he has a formal diagnosis so the school have a duty to do all they can to help him. Is he on 'School Action' or 'School Action Plus' - if so he should have an Individual Education Plan. My son's IEP states what his additional educational needs are and also his problems with social situations, and then states what the school will do to help him overcome these. It's then reviewed every term.

Is there anything in particular that makes him anxious, like lots of background noise or sudden changes to the timetable? Does the teacher keep a diary so they can see if any pattern of triggers shows up?

Of course, if the school don't really seem to know what they are doing, it might be a battle, but I would suggest getting as much information as you can so that you know what should be happening.

Have a look at the ACE and NAS websites - they have lots of useful information about education issues. Also have a look through the SEN code of practice - there's a link to it on the ACE website.

 

I hope things get better for you very soon <'>

[justine1]

Thank you AV16 and NickyB,that is really helpful.He has an "informal" diagnosis in that we have been told by a Gp and he has been for one assesment and so I was told that it is Aspergers but nothing in writing,its been three weeks since his assesment and we are awaiting another appointment,so at the moment I am so very frustrated.I have spoken to the teacher this morning and she seems sympathetic but the solution seems to be keeping him in at playtimes which is when he is most violent.At school and home we do tell him what is good or acceptable behaviour and what is not,some of the time he gets it but 80% of the time he blames others, he does get upset and says he tries so hard to be good and it seems like he just cant help himself.They started an action plan last year but it is mostly for help in the class and this is helping him,so I think I will need to speak to them about how to help at playtimes.To be honest I dont know who supervises at playtimes but it seems he is not being monitered properly in that the games get to a point where he has hurt others so badly,I know at home he does get close to this point but I am able to intervene quickly as I know the signs,I would like to help them with this but what is the point if nobody is going to be around when he "explodes"! I will really look into the networks that may offer help thank you both so very much I feel much better now I have spoken about it.