I want to go home...

[bluefish]

Hi,

Ds tonight became very upset and asked me to take him home, we were at home... nothing in routine had changed and the day at school had been normal. He has asked this before over the last few weeks but has not been upset and has settled for the answer "we are at home" but tonight he became terrified and started crying and screaming that he wanted to go home. I dont understand and had no idea how to help him other than repeat calmly we were at home and we were very safe. He has finally dropped off to sleep but I feel very helpless, what does he mean by "going home" I feel very upset for him and for me that he feels afraid of something he cant express. I have racked my brain for any little thing that could have upset him but can not come up with anything. Have any of you come across this kind of thing?

 

Thanks in advace for any replies

[Kathryn]

Sorted.

 

K x

[bluefish]

Sorted.

 

K x

Thanks Kathryn x

[chris54]

All I could advise is if/when he asks this again and in a calm state of mind instead of saying "We are home" you ask him what he means, where/what "home" is.

 

Without wanting to predetermine what he means, it could be that he wants to return to a previous time, how things use to be. What I'm getting at is that "Home" may not be a physical place but a state of mind.

[justine1]

My son did this when he was two/three,he used to say he wants to go in the aeroplane to his other mummy it was a bit confusing but because of his age I just laughed it off,my mum lives abroad but he only met her once for three days when he was 3 months so no way he could remember her!I am sorry dont know what to suggest,have you always lived in the same home?does he ever sleep anywhere else ie.grandparent,cousin etc.maybe when he is scared he may want to be at that place???

[av16]

My son used to do this alot - I'm afraid I didn't ever find out what he meant, I just tried to reassure him. Hasn't done it at home for several years but when on holiday, day trips etc he will still say it, sometimes in a distressed way and he's 12. We've been on holiday to the same place for the last 5 yrs, this year he only said it on the first day.

AV

[jb1964]

Hi Bluefish,

 

Nothing to really to offer as advice - but just wondered when you say he dropped off to sleep after - do you mean he was in bed to start with/is this only at bedtime or is it during the day as well and also I noticed you say this is the first time he seems frightened/upset - but has he ever seemed confused when he asks this as well?

 

Take care,

Jb x.

Edited October 16, 2009 by jb1964

[Sally44]

Next time it happens tell him you can see and understand that he is very upset and reassure him as you have done. Then as suggested ask him what 'home' is. Has he seen something on TV or in a film. Or, like my son, if he makes unusual connections, it could be just about anything that happened or he experienced at the same time as being at home or thinking about home of maybe something that isn't actually anything to do with home but it might make him feel happy or safe. The list is endless, which can be daunting!! But in the morning, when he is awake after breakfast, ask him some direct questions. And you need to try to steer clear of questions that ask 'why' etc if open ended questions are too difficult or complicated.

And regarding early memories. My son has some very early and clear recollections about objects in his grandmothers house that he saw when he was 2 years old and this summer he asked her for them. What he had seen were two identical fans. His gran bought him two fans she had but they were not identical. When he complained and insisted that they had been the same she said that the identical one had broken some 6 years previously and she had replaced it.

[asnewb]

I wonder where HE thinks home is

 

I am still, to this day, thinking...I want to go home though I don't have anyone to talk about it and I'm 42