Hi there - New member.....

[Steve N]

Hi there,

 

My name is Steve, i'm 26 and two months ago i was told that i probably have Aspergers and ADD. I battled for a year to get assessed and i literally had to shout at my doctor to get her to refer me. It was a great relief to finally be given some sort of explanation for the way i am and it was a huge weight of my shoulders after all these years.

 

Before Christmas 2006 i could barely go in a pub, couldnt talk to people or look them in the eye. I would shy away from any social situation because i couldnt find the words for people. My life was awfull, i would hide upstairs if we had friends at our house and be unwilling to join in. I felt uncomfortable everywhere. Then that Christmas i randomly met a group of people of my age group that had similar interests as me (Football, Music) and i think they took pitty on my and started inviting me out with them. It was a huge struggle at first but i made myself carry on because i could feel progress being made. I would walk to the pub to meet them and literally be shaking and wanting to turn back by the time i got there. Socialising was extremely hard at first and i would find myself sitting there getting slowly drunk saying absolutely nothing to anyone and nearly falling asleep. (Alchohol does nothing for me apart from make me tired)

 

Time went on and i got a lot better but today i'm still quiet unless i can talk about my interests. My social imagination seems to be missing. I have been doing a lot of thinking about it recently and it occured to me that i was unable to do English and English Lit at School, and i actually didnt write a single word on my Lit exam paper because i didnt know what to say. Other subjects were not a problem.

 

I have big problems when i am one on one with people keeping a conversation going and being fluent. I dont think i have explained myself very well at all to be honest lol, but i dont know where to take this from here. I would like to be formally diagnosed but how do i go about it? Its horrid because people think i am a regular weirdo but i know i am not, i can feel my brain trying to work the way it should but it doesnt. I'm not shy or unconfident, i am infact a DJ part time, it seems that when comes to being social my thoughts are not there. (Rather than being to shy to talk, i dont have anything to say)

 

I also have memory problems, i find it very hard to read, i have to read things 5 or 6 times before it goes in. School was hard and i quit college last year due to anxiety and not being able to keep up or socialise with others.

 

Any help would be much appreciated. :-)

 

 

 

 

 

[BruceCM]

Hi, it sounds like you've already made a lot of progress & I hope some others have some advice for you. Welcome, anyway!

[OAASIS]

Hi there,

 

My name is Steve, i'm 26 and two months ago i was told that i probably have Aspergers and ADD. I battled for a year to get assessed and i literally had to shout at my doctor to get her to refer me. It was a great relief to finally be given some sort of explanation for the way i am and it was a huge weight of my shoulders after all these years.

 

Before Christmas 2006 i could barely go in a pub, couldnt talk to people or look them in the eye. I would shy away from any social situation because i couldnt find the words for people. My life was awfull, i would hide upstairs if we had friends at our house and be unwilling to join in. I felt uncomfortable everywhere. Then that Christmas i randomly met a group of people of my age group that had similar interests as me (Football, Music) and i think they took pitty on my and started inviting me out with them. It was a huge struggle at first but i made myself carry on because i could feel progress being made. I would walk to the pub to meet them and literally be shaking and wanting to turn back by the time i got there. Socialising was extremely hard at first and i would find myself sitting there getting slowly drunk saying absolutely nothing to anyone and nearly falling asleep. (Alchohol does nothing for me apart from make me tired)

 

Time went on and i got a lot better but today i'm still quiet unless i can talk about my interests. My social imagination seems to be missing. I have been doing a lot of thinking about it recently and it occured to me that i was unable to do English and English Lit at School, and i actually didnt write a single word on my Lit exam paper because i didnt know what to say. Other subjects were not a problem.

 

I have big problems when i am one on one with people keeping a conversation going and being fluent. I dont think i have explained myself very well at all to be honest lol, but i dont know where to take this from here. I would like to be formally diagnosed but how do i go about it? Its horrid because people think i am a regular weirdo but i know i am not, i can feel my brain trying to work the way it should but it doesnt. I'm not shy or unconfident, i am infact a DJ part time, it seems that when comes to being social my thoughts are not there. (Rather than being to shy to talk, i dont have anything to say)

 

I also have memory problems, i find it very hard to read, i have to read things 5 or 6 times before it goes in. School was hard and i quit college last year due to anxiety and not being able to keep up or socialise with others.

 

Any help would be much appreciated. :-)

 

Hello Steve,

 

Well done on the positive progress you are already making.

The OAASIS website has a free downloadable information sheet about Adult Assesssment and After. Our website is www.oaasis.co.uk

The National Autistic Society also have helpful information which you may be interested in and I attach their links here:

Diagnosis - how can it benefit me as an adult?: http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly....1045&a=8018

Diagnosis - the process for adults: http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly....1045&a=3341

Social skills - an introduction (has further links about starting/ending conversations etc): http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1507

 

There are adult AS groups around the country so it may be worth you putting adult asperger support group for your area in your search engine to see if there is one local to you.

 

I hope this information is helpful for you.

Best wishes,

OAASIS

 

[trekster]

Hi there,

 

My name is Steve, i'm 26 and two months ago i was told that i probably have Aspergers and ADD. I battled for a year to get assessed and i literally had to shout at my doctor to get her to refer me. It was a great relief to finally be given some sort of explanation for the way i am and it was a huge weight of my shoulders after all these years.

 

Welcome Steve, im Alexis, diagnosed 14 years ago age 16. Had to wait 18months (have been told this was the average waiting time) and gran had to pester the doctor to refer me. i think i was the 1st patient in that practice to be diagnosed Asperger at the time. It was also a relief for me but i knew something was missing, now ive got other diagnoses added on (including the self diagnosis of OCD due to hoarding and spending).

Before Christmas 2006 i could barely go in a pub, couldnt talk to people or look them in the eye. I would shy away from any social situation because i couldnt find the words for people. My life was awfull, i would hide upstairs if we had friends at our house and be unwilling to join in. I felt uncomfortable everywhere. Then that Christmas i randomly met a group of people of my age group that had similar interests as me (Football, Music) and i think they took pitty on my and started inviting me out with them. It was a huge struggle at first but i made myself carry on because i could feel progress being made. I would walk to the pub to meet them and literally be shaking and wanting to turn back by the time i got there. Socialising was extremely hard at first and i would find myself sitting there getting slowly drunk saying absolutely nothing to anyone and nearly falling asleep. (Alchohol does nothing for me apart from make me tired)

 

Sounds like me pre diagnosis, i only get like that when im severely depressed which strangely enough was Xmas 05 at our social group xmas meal. It was annoying that one person i was sitting with was morning her fathers death and the other just kept asking me repetitive questions. i had given up university a year earlier due to bullying and was just drifting not really going anywhere with my life. im currently severely depressed but at least it's responding well to 5htp which it wouldnt do to conventional medicine.

Time went on and i got a lot better but today i'm still quiet unless i can talk about my interests. My social imagination seems to be missing. I have been doing a lot of thinking about it recently and it occurred to me that i was unable to do English and English Lit at School, and i actually didnt write a single word on my Lit exam paper because i didnt know what to say. Other subjects were not a problem.

 

Well done for persevering. When i 1st attended asperger teens group in Bristol i was very nervous and had problems talking with others. i settled in within a few months (quicker than other environments) and started to embrace my new autistic social life. My friends have been with me through thick and thin, 2 even kept in contact with me when i had a breakdown at college (ive since come close to one twice). i was also poor at English literature except "pride and prejudice" as i could relate the characters to people in real life.

 

Social imagination is an autistic thing and ive found mine has developed slowly over the years. Strangely enough EastEnders and Coronation street or other soaps have helped. Their social behaviour is severely exaggerated so i notice it better than RL. Neighbours taught me that loving couples (or dating ones) need to have some time alone (i dont mean the bedroom but just not being a gooseberry). Other soaps have taught me it is natural to feel the way i do about things. i cried for a rare occasion when Stacey was sectioned in EastEnders it reminded me of how my friend might have felt at the time of his sectioning.

 

im not afraid to ask questions and work on the motto of "the only stupid question is the one you dont ask". im on many autistic internet forums (quite new to the scene really only last 4 years). i ask questions about social behaviour on there and also with trusted family members and support staff. Have you tried to find a NAS run social group in your area? http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=2176 for details of one in your area. If you get stuck let me know and i will try and find the nearest one to a town you ask for.

I have big problems when i am one on one with people keeping a conversation going and being fluent. I dont think i have explained myself very well at all to be honest lol, but i dont know where to take this from here. I would like to be formally diagnosed but how do i go about it? Its horrid because people think i am a regular weirdo but i know i am not, i can feel my brain trying to work the way it should but it doesn't. I'm not shy or unconfident, i am in fact a DJ part time, it seems that when comes to being social my thoughts are not there. (Rather than being to shy to talk, i dont have anything to say)

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1348 is the NAS section on diagnosis. Some autistic folk have problems accessing their memories and i happen to be one of them. Also social situations can be very overloading for autistic folk. In Bristol we have a quiet cafe group but im not sure if any other social groups meet anywhere other than a pub. Knowing how to start or end a conversation is also a problem for us. Email the autism helpline to ask who can diagnose adults with aspergers in your area www.autism.org.uk/enquiry the ADD can be much harder to diagnose since authorities dont think it affects adults. i know almost as many ADD adults as asperger adults and many have both.

I also have memory problems, i find it very hard to read, i have to read things 5 or 6 times before it goes in. School was hard and i quit college last year due to anxiety and not being able to keep up or socialise with others.

 

Any help would be much appreciated. :-)

 

Ask the NAS for an e-befriender? Also try some books like "how to be yourself in a world that's different", "what is asperger syndrome and how will it affect me?" or even "the complete guide to asperger syndrome".

 

Good luck and let us know how we can help. (by asking questions)

 

Alexis

 

[Steve N]

Thanks for your replies! I have some councelling coming up soon so i will take it from there.