New career?

[kerryt84]

So, at the moment I'm a primary school teacher. I love working with children because I can communicate with them so freely and they don't judge me like adults do. I have been told that I am an exceptional teacher and because I am such a perfectionist and like to stick to the rules I do think I am more dedicated than most teachers I know. But, I just can't cope with the adults. Communicating with parents and colleagues is so stressful and often I am left feeling confused and upset. I come home exhausted each day and am often in bed by 7 or 8, which my boyfriend moans about. Also I know teachers are lucky to have lots of holidays but I can't cope with them, I need structure and routine and I always end up very depressed every holiday. I really don't think I can cope with being a teacher for the rest of my life. I already tried leaving the profession to try and start my own business but I just didn't have the money to get it off the ground so reluctantly I came back. What worries me is when I have a family of my own, if I can't cope now how on Earth will I cope then?!

 

I feel I am at the age (25) when a career change would be a good option, but the problem is my degree is in teaching and I don't have the money to do another degree. Also I have looked into lots of jobs that I would be interested in and there are points to all of them that I'm sure I wouldn't cope with. For example, I wouldn't cope with shift work, or a job where good communication was vital, or where I would work closely with the genreal public. So, what do I do? I don't want to end up having a nervous breakdown, which I feel I'm getting closer to all the time by being a teacher. It did help when I used to work part time in my old job (having Wednesdays off) as it gave me a chance to recover mid week, but I can't afford to do this.

 

I don't have a diagnosis yet, but am hoping to get one soon, when I have this are there any options to help me? Also I just want to know what others would do in this situation?

[chris54]

I picked up that you say you could not afford to work fewer hours as a teacher, I assume from that that whatever you do you would be looking for an income that would match what you get now.

Well that rules out all my first batch of suggestion I would have made.

 

Myself, when I got to a point in my life when I decided I no longer wanted to and on health grounds would soon no be able to carry on in my then profession, I know that it would be very unlikely that I would be able to earn anything like I was at the time. If I still did what I did 20 years ago I would be on about 3 time what I earn now and would not be reliant on tax credits to make up my income.

 

But these are the choices you have to make.

Do you go for something with out the pressure you now have but maybe but with a much lower income.

 

As I said if that is not a chose you want to make then it rules out what I would have suggested.

Edited February 15, 2010 by chris54

[justine1]

I agree with the above comments,unless you are prepared to take another degree its unlikely you can do fewer hours in a new job for the same pay.

From your post it actually seems you do enjoy your job,just want less pressure,can you not try and find a new job but different location,maybe where you can have more breaks etc making it less stressful.

 

I believe something like teaching is usually a well thought out profession,most people do it for the passion of the job not for the money and it seems it is the case with you,but I suppose with financial burdens its making it difficult.So the second option would be to see how you can reduce your spending, realistically though.

 

I made a mistake a few years back of changing careers,it was a huge mistake.Not only was he new job more stressful,more hours but also less pay!

Then when I returned to my previous emplyment they couldnt give me the same shifts I had before so it was so stressful!

[westie]

If you get a diagnosis I would think that you could approach your bosses and try to discuss ways that you could better manage the issues that affect you because of your disability (for example I am thinking if possible would another adult colleague who you trust be able to be present when you speak to parents etc so that you feel more comfortable?). or there could be another way to help you, that you could discuss together. If you are a talented teacher and good with the children and you enjoy this part of it then it would be sad to move to a job you would be even less comfortable with...

If you are part of a union or if you have a counselling service this could be something to discuss with them?

 

Disability discrimination act thing I would imagine, would think they would have to try to help if you had a formal diagnosis

Edited February 15, 2010 by westie

[westie]

and what about encouraging the school to provide some sort of holiday activities that you can help with? or volunteering to help with another summer scheme with children to fill some of your time during the holidays? my sons school had a few events over the summer, for parents and children to get involved with, making clothes, doing sports on the field etc. it seemed to go down well. Obviously not something you could do alone but it may be of interest to some other teachers or governors or other staff in school. Our school has a parent involvement worker now and she was heavily involved in organising it etc.

 

Would need to be well planned obviously (for you as dont want to be more pressured!), and make some time for you and your boyfriend to enjoy too!

 

Another thing could be maybe trying some other type of work in the holidays (voluntary) which may help you to find another job/ career you like without giving up this one straight away.

Edited February 15, 2010 by westie

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I understand why you may find things tough when communicating with adults (parents and colleagues), however, it sounds like you have a great deal to offer. It would be such a shame if you changed career path. Is it possible that you could confide in your boss (obviously, very difficult to do)? As the parent of an 8 year old son with AS, have to say, I think that you could offer an invaluable perspective/insight/etc working with kids with special needs. Hope I don't sound patronising, but I'm a very different person now aged 37 to what I was as a 25 year old. I wouldn't say booh to a mouse, yet with age I've had to become much more assertive and confident (to a degree my son has made the person that I am today). It may be that you'd experience similar. This may seem insurmountable, but you've got yourself qualifications and a good job that you're obviously good at. Is it worth contacting NAS to see what advice they could give?

 

Caroline.

[baranigirl]

Hi

 

I understand where you are coming from, I like the ideas banded about above too

 

From what you have said, you need routine and structure daily, and money too

 

My DP recently left his well paid job as he had several nervous breakdowns last year (6 or 7) due to working shifts, once we identified that was a large part of his problems we found him a job much more suitable, he now earns £10k less a year, meaning I have had to find additional work to make up some of the shortfall, we also have 4 kids.

 

DP is much happier in the new job, although the stress of having very little money is difficult, he is no longer having breakdowns and is now having mini meltdowns instead, much less scary for him and us!

 

My suggestion would be to go part time in the teaching, get the additonal help with parents evenings etc from other staff and find some holiday clubs to work in (I do a summer playscheme for 4 weeks every summer) your holiday work could be paid to allow for the drop in pay from working part time, or voluntary if you are looking for something to fill your time as such.

 

With regard to coping when you have a family, well tbh who does cope? A lot of us just bumble along and things fall into place somehow, why worry about this at your stage in life? When it happens then seek the help immediately as there is plenty out there you just have to look hard xx

[Shnoing]

Communicating with parents and colleagues is so stressful and often I am left feeling confused and upset.

The communication you mention is probably mostly 'social grooming'. Perhaps, is you read about its meaning/function in (NT) society, it will get easier for you. Try this book: Kate Fox : Watching the English . The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour. ISBN: 0340818867

Also I know teachers are lucky to have lots of holidays but I can't cope with them, I need structure and routine ...

Maybe you can devote your free time to one of your special interests (mine is reading, so I end up with heaps of books). You could make a timetable for your holidays, too. Thomas Mann, e.g., had a fixed time for his writing every day and he sort of dropped his pen when the hours were up.

 

Summary: if you are ok with your teaching the children then you should try to stay there.