Sooo frustrated!!!

[got the tshirt]

Hope this doesn't sound tooo much like a moan but...at the weekend we went out for the day with all 3 girls and granddaughter. The outing involved an asault course which Dd3 has done many times, there was a queue on one obstacle so we suggested that we skip it and go back later !!! I realised straight away that Dd3 was not going to be able to do that because it would mean tackling the asault course out of sequence, she started to make a fuss you know the sort of thing jumping up and down and flapping and saying no I want to do this one. Any way My OH was sooo cross with her and said she had too leave it, which of course didn't help. I stepped in and took her to wait in the queue. Then I felt bad because I had undermind him. I just don't see why it was a problem for him if she wanted to stand in the queue so that she could do the obstacles in order.

Does anyone else have these kind of problems or do you think I was too soft with her and should have made a stand.

I thought OH had started to understand why some things are sooo difficult for her but clearly I was mistaken.

This kind of thing is beginning to damage our relationship.

[Sally44]

No, this kind of stuff happens with us all the time. Sometimes its OH, sometimes it's me.

I think that you should talk with your husband about it, if things are more calm now.

The thing is that, although it might be useful for her to learn how to be a bit more flexible, trying it out first time during a family outting is not really recommended. And I don't know to what extent this type of aim would ever be effective.

My son also tends to deal with new things very well. However get him in a 'familiar' situation and he expects the same thing to happen. If it doesn't then all hell lets loose.

When you discuss the 'why' your daughter could not cope with missing out that aspect of the assault course etc. It might be a good idea to talk through a 'plan B', so that if it happens again you and OH know what the procedure will be. We usually end up splitting up, as you did, with OH and daughter going off in one direction whilst I stay with DS and we arrange to meet up in an hours time.

However, the best laid plans of mice and men!

[got the tshirt]

You are right Sally44 I think we do need to talk. Dd3's inflexibility is causing alot of trouble at the moment and we are struggling. Part of the problem is that when we decided to ask for her to be assessed I think we were both expecting too much. I actually thought we were going to get some help. We have struggled through this kind of controlling behaviour with Dd1 and I am not sure if we can do it again without completely wrecking our relationship. We went away at half term for a break, Dd3 is usually much easier away from home but she is currently obssessed with the key for the new car which has a button to press and then there was a swipe key for the swimming pool at the holiday place, which she imediately became possessive over. Two key obsessions at the same time didn't make for a very restful break and with work commitments and school panics OH and I don't seem to have had a conversation for ages.

Sorry to go on but I have no one to talk to because when I try to explain that a key obsession nearly ruined our holiday, family and friends look at me as if I have lost it. Mind you they could be right

[baranigirl]

Am dealing with a similar thing here, except it is DP causing the issues over his inflexibility with the kids, he fell out yesterday with DD2 over a bottle of tomato ketchup!

 

DD3 is also inflexible and between them all I am exhausted as I also have to work full time to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. DP had an eppy because I was working yesterday and it meant he had to deal with the kids

 

I just don't know what to do anymore

 

Sorry for stealing your post, but I totally know what you are saying and I too am looking for help!

[got the tshirt]

Am dealing with a similar thing here, except it is DP causing the issues over his inflexibility with the kids, he fell out yesterday with DD2 over a bottle of tomato ketchup!

 

DD3 is also inflexible and between them all I am exhausted as I also have to work full time to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. DP had an eppy because I was working yesterday and it meant he had to deal with the kids

 

I just don't know what to do anymore

 

Sorry for stealing your post, but I totally know what you are saying and I too am looking for help!

 

 

Not stealing my post at all! I just needed to get some stuff off my chest and I guess you need to do the same. It is so hard when you feel like you are coping alone. We have ridiculous arguments over things like tomato sauce well actually it is usually peas in our house which OH insists on putting in all caseroles, spag bol, lasange etc and which Dd3 absolutley hates.

Theres one thing about joining a forum like this.... you are garunteed to meet someone who gets what you are going through.

[julie1]

our family life is just the same, dh and son always have problems. my dh just will not give even a little i feel my son is more grown up than my dh. My son is 14 and will choose to stay in his bedroom rather than sit with us down stairs. I asked him why he wont sit with us and he looked at his dad and said because he doesnt like me. My husband just shruged and said well if thats how you feel. I went upstairs and sat with my son last weekend to spend some time with him, i layed on his bed next to him for about 1 hour and he kept moving away from me. I asked him why he said you people have jerms on you and now you have put them on my bed. He slept on the floor that night, i washed the sheets the next day. My husband just said i told you so. I dont think dh can help it either im sure he has ASD and he keeps making the most anoying noises withhis throat when he talks.

[baranigirl]

Not stealing my post at all! I just needed to get some stuff off my chest and I guess you need to do the same. It is so hard when you feel like you are coping alone. We have ridiculous arguments over things like tomato sauce well actually it is usually peas in our house which OH insists on putting in all caseroles, spag bol, lasange etc and which Dd3 absolutley hates.

Theres one thing about joining a forum like this.... you are garunteed to meet someone who gets what you are going through.

 

 

thank you, I did giggle about the peas as my DP insists on cooking me rice which I cannot stand and then moans when I don't eat it

 

tonight I came home from work and he went to bed, happy with that cos it means I don't have to look at him sulking over the blimming tomato sauce from yesterday!

[got the tshirt]

My OH works shifts so had one less to worry about tonight.

I caused confrontation tonight because I sent Dd3 upstairs for shouting at me. She had several warnings and then a final warning and still continued so I followed through. She had a mega tantrum and threw the contents of the landing down the stairs [nothing dangerous]. I shut the doors and finished my meal. Then I went up to talk to her but she hadn't cooled down so I helped her into her pj's and put her to bed. She was still pretty cross with me but went to sleep almost straight away. She must have been exhausted no wonder she was so stroppy.

Anyway all this was done without me getting angry and shouting and she did go up when I sent her. All I have to do now is carry all the stuff back up stairs that she chucked.LOL.