Help

[lin1223]

Hi, please can anyone help me. I have an 11year old, how has all way had problems. But things are just getting worse. She gets very violent at home and now in school to where she was put in isolation, also excluded for making a comments on what she see. At school she has no friends and the family do not like her, poor social skills, no understanding of others feelings, accuses others of stealing from her, she take things from others, paranoid that people are talking about her, says things as she see it, forgetful, loses things, misunderstands comments of others and takes thing the wrong way, threaten suicide and running away, school work, she does not like going to other class room because of the noise, hate loud noise and has a make believe friend in her head how she talks to. I have been to the GP for years asking for help, The GP has known referred her to camhs. I have asked sencon to do a statutory assessment; with a educational psychologist will be seeing her on the 21st April. Tascc have given up, set me on parenting evenings with were no help. It is putting a lot of strain on my family.

[justine1]

Hi

The school need to help her based on her difficulties.Has she got an IEP?Is she on school action?I would insist that they help her.Saying that, they are getting the ed pysch in and its not much of a wait,my sons school refused to do this until he had a diagnosis.When the ed psych comes you need to express your concerns as clear as possible dont just assume the school will tell them everything you need to give your own version of how she is.

 

Also the wait for CAMHS can be long,my four year old is on the waiting list for four weeks now and we still have 7weeks left!So you need to put pressure on the school to help and if they cant they need to chase up the appt with CAMHS,if she is at risk or putting others at risk she needs an emergency appt,I managed to do this for Sam and he got his diagnosis 2mths earlier because we put pressure on the paed.

 

If needs be go back to the GP and also maybe worth writing to the LEA,explaning whats happening.

[Karen A]

Hi Welcome to the Forum but sorry it due to your daughter having a difficult time. <'>

Although your daughter might have ASD it is difficult to know.There are many other possible causes of the difficulties you describe including mental health needs.It is useful that the GP has now done a referral to CAMHS.They should be able to conduct assessments regarding ASD and other possible causes of your daughter's unhappiness and anxiety.

Youngminds is a charity that promotes mental health for young people.It also supports parents of young people with mental health needs.If you are concerned about your daughter expressing suicidal ideas or paranoid thoughts then the helpline might be useful.

I will post a link for you in a minute.

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

Karen.

Edited April 6, 2010 by Karen A

[JsMum]

Hi, my son has ASD and a lot of what you are experiencing with your daughter I have had similair behaviours too with my son who is 13 and also has mental health and other developmental disorders, I would recommend you look at the NAS website and they also have a helpline too, they can send you more information on AS and ASD, there is quite a bit of information on AS in the link below but the website has more information.

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=2268

 

I would also look into finding a local Autistic Spectrum Disorder parent support group, there you will find further information on symptoms and also knowing your not on your own dealing with this really helps too.

 

so do ask your local childrens centre if there is any local ASD support groups, I also attend the ADHD parent support group in my area and a lot of children have both ASD and ADHD so an ADHD parent support group can also help you further too.

 

A great place I recieve emotional and practical support is Contact A Family, they help with alsorts of support from Educational, to social care to Benefits and grants.

 

They can also put you touch with other parents who are going throw similair experiences.

 

http://www.cafamily.org.uk/families/index.html

 

It is positive step that a Ed Psych is observing her soon and that she is been referred to CAMHS so you are on the right tracks for now.

 

As with reguarding school there is again a number of websites that support parents with SEN information here is a link of those helplines.

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=20381

 

My son can become violent too so we provide him a safe place for him to go to, even if this is a section put aside for your daughter to use such as a bean bag, soft lighting and some music to help divert her away from using violence and running away to escape the situation she is in, so I recommend this also use sports and activities to help her use her excess energy.

 

Thinks about visual aids to help her communicate her feelings and to help her express herself without using violence.

 

I wish you the very best and hope that some of the suggestions are helpful, you are not alone in this struggle.

 

JsMumxx

 

 

 

 

 

[lin1223]

Hi

The school need to help her based on her difficulties.Has she got an IEP?Is she on school action?I would insist that they help her.Saying that, they are getting the ed pysch in and its not much of a wait,my sons school refused to do this until he had a diagnosis.When the ed psych comes you need to express your concerns as clear as possible dont just assume the school will tell them everything you need to give your own version of how she is.

 

Also the wait for CAMHS can be long,my four year old is on the waiting list for four weeks now and we still have 7weeks left!So you need to put pressure on the school to help and if they cant they need to chase up the appt with CAMHS,if she is at risk or putting others at risk she needs an emergency appt,I managed to do this for Sam and he got his diagnosis 2mths earlier because we put pressure on the paed.

 

If needs be go back to the GP and also maybe worth writing to the LEA,explaning whats happening.

 

[lin1223]

Hi, Thank for your help. Yes she is on a school action plus, when its time to update, the things on it just stay the same.

[JsMum]

Hi, Thank for your help. Yes she is on a school action plus, when its time to update, the things on it just stay the same.

How long has she had the same targets, is it called an Individual Educational Plan/programme? how many has she had?

 

How long has she been on SA Plus?

 

JsMumxx

 

[trekster]

She sounds like me when i was a confused undiagnosed teenager.

[lin1223]

How long has she had the same targets, is it called an Individual Educational Plan/programme? how many has she had?

 

How long has she been on SA Plus?

 

JsMumxx

 

 

 

She has been on them from year 2 of school, Yeah it is called Individual Education Plan. Not much has change from junior school, I ask them for help but get know where. Know she in secondary school (year 7) thing are just getting worse.

I am getting very scared of the aggressive behaviour, because she is stronger than me. My other child is being affected to, she will not leave me, in case her sister harts me,as we have had knife's pointed at us and hitting, kicking and puching us.

[JsMum]

If the targets have not been changed and there is no sign of progress and there is deteriation I would request an urgent assessment of her SEN for a statement.

Your Daughters behaviour is extream at home and needs further assessments to look at support at home, I am going throw a core assessment at the moment throw social services I recommend one of these as they will identify her needs and what services she requires such as Respite care, safe room, sessional work and home help and support for her siblings as this will have a big impact on their own emotional and mental health.

 

If she is using weapons and physical violence I would contact the emergency team via social service and insist that she recieve urgent support.

 

You can also put in a complaint to social services if you feel you are not getting enough support throw out this process.

 

JsMumxxx

 

 

 

[Sally44]

If you phone your local authority and ask to speak to the Parent Partnership, they can give you advice and come to any meetings with you. They are employed by the local authority, but their role is to support parents and children, especially those with SEN.

IEP targets are supposed to be SMART. That means Specific, measurable, achieveable, relevent and time specific. My son's are reviewed and updated termly. If he has not made progress they discuss why and what can be done so that he does achieve the target next time. There is no way that a child should have the same on-going targets. If your daughter is not meeting the targets that means they should take the next step which would be seeking professional advice from the Speech Therapist and Educationa Psychologist and then asking for an assessment towards a Statement. Ideally you need two IEPs before you can ask for an assessment yourself.

So I would ask the LEA for an assessment towards a Statement and send in all the documentation you have about her behaviour, IEPs, academic progress etc. Are school supporting you in asking for an assessment?

There is a chance that the LEA may throw out your request and say that school have not done enough because they have not followed the SEN process eg. the IEPs are not SMART. But if the LEA refuse to assess then appeal. Many LEAs refuse practically every request to assess just to see if the parents go on to appeal.

 

On this website, at the top of the page, you can download the SEN Code of Practice. That details what should happen at every stage of the SEN process eg. School Action, School Action Plus, Assessment towards a Statement, the Final Statement etc.

 

A Statement is for any child that needs more input, help and support than can be provided by the school. It doesn't have to be just academic difficulties, it can be social ones, emotional and behavioural ones. From your post your daughter sounds like she does have complex needs which maybe down to one or more than one reason or diagnosis.

 

As you are finding, as children grow up they build on basic skills they have. For children with SEN their difficulties tend to magnify as they get older because the basic skills are not there or are poor, so things gradually become more and more difficult for them.