Coping at school with bowel dysfunction

[sawjd]

Hello everyone,

 

K actually went into school for the first time in weeks. Even though he clung to the stairs and me and would not let me go (headteacher had to prise him off me)he did stay. Its taken the headteacher to sort out a bullying problem at school which so easily could have been sorted by the class teacher and she was aware of it before the class broke up for easter holidays. NOT ONE PHONE CALL FROM THE SCHOOL, not the head, nor the senco and not even the class teacher to sort this out. I am aware they are busy but not even a 30 second phone call or message to say come in and talk about it after school. Nothing, yet as parents we get the blame for not sending our kids to school. We are told as parents 'keep in contact with the school and tell them what the problem is'. (Sarcasm = Funny i thought dialogue was supposed to work both ways).

 

Anyway, to the question and problem that k is now facing. The movicol is having some effect but not total effect. Sorry for the description but his bowel movements are becoming larger yet he still cannot feel 10p/50p sized faeces and he/we are worried that the children during PE may see his underpants and faeces drop out (not so bad in the playground its PE when its more obvious). When going to the toilet, loads of crustations go everywhere and his underwear is quite matted. He is on two sachets of movicol aswell as having brown bead, beans, orange juice, apple juice and the doctor today said they would do a letter informing the school that he has problems with his bowels. This could take months to for Ks digestive system to sort itself out and his bowel muscle to work again.

 

Just wanted to know how other people/children had managed at school. ( i am going to take Ks underwear up to school and show them today then they will have to believe me). What advice and how can the school help. He is made to wear shorts, i know i could ask he gets changed seperately but how does k avoid the children seeing his toileting accidents. It wasn't so much of a problem before but its much more noticeable and he can't avoid PE forever.

 

K does not want to go in when they have PE (he doesn't like the change of clothes anyway but he had been doing it). Any tips anyone on how we can sort this out.

We have only managed to get him into school as of yesterday and don't want to let this stop him from going to school.

 

many thanks.

 

sarni

 

[julie1]

can your son be excused from pe only in the short term , while the school find a way of managing the problem. somewhere else to change, long trousers instead of shorts. talk it through with them, they might have had a simerlar child before and have a plan that has worked before. i hope you can sort this out as he is back in school now and it would be a terible shame if the school cannot manage this problem.

[chris54]

First, I dont know what age your child is but the school have a duty to take care of his toileting needs.

 

They should have disabled facilities/ toilet and shower/washing facilities to this end and give him whatever help he needs.

 

Believe it or not but this is covered by the disability discrimination act. Schools have to make provision for children who are not continent.

 

Could he use incontinent pants whiles doing PE.

[caci]

Maybe dark coloured pants (not boxers) might make things a bit less obvious in term of marks or poo dropping out of leg holes (sorry TMI) .

 

I think if PE is an issue, you should be able to arrange for him to sit out. Give him a plausible excuse, such as he is taking "special medicine" and can not run around, so he doesn't have to think up answers if his peers start asking awkward questions.

[sawjd]

Maybe dark coloured pants (not boxers) might make things a bit less obvious in term of marks or poo dropping out of leg holes (sorry TMI) .

 

I think if PE is an issue, you should be able to arrange for him to sit out. Give him a plausible excuse, such as he is taking "special medicine" and can not run around, so he doesn't have to think up answers if his peers start asking awkward questions.

 

[sawjd]

Hello Caci,

 

Thanks for the reply. The only problem is K is the one who suffers in silence and says nothing and the school think there is no problem. He hides everything so well till problems flare up big time then he doesn't go to school. He is talking of not going in on Tuesdays as thats when PE is. Dark coloured pants could be the temporary solution until his bowels become regular. If i show the school welfare lady his underwear they might believe me, i have seen K at home picking at his trousers/backside so i know he is uncomfortable and he does try and wipe himself but he gets anxious as it goes everywhere. His poos are adult size, is this becuase he is not eating enough? and when the bowels are full up is that when he is supposed to go?, i am not sure.

 

Not sure if i should chase this up. He doesn't go to the toliet in the morning, has to wear nappies because of irregular bowel movements so he wets in the nappy still. They must have had other children who have similar problems in the past. Its getting the school to understand and help him thats the main problem. He walks around all day with poo in his pants must be very uncomfortable for him. I said this to them (the school) in the IEP we had yesterday and the heateacher was there and said 'if K has a problem then he can go to the welfare lady'. I have tried so many times to explain to her and the others, he suffers in silence and won't ask for help. Its driving me mad. I like to nip things in the bud they like to wait and see things escalate. I am really fed up with this school. They have said themselves he won't do things unlesss prompted so of course he won't go unless someone tells him its ok he can ask for help. Just so annoyed with this school. sorry for the rant.

 

Thanks for the advice

 

Best wishes

 

sarni,

[sawjd]

First, I dont know what age your child is but the school have a duty to take care of his toileting needs.

 

They should have disabled facilities/ toilet and shower/washing facilities to this end and give him whatever help he needs.

 

Believe it or not but this is covered by the disability discrimination act. Schools have to make provision for children who are not continent.

 

Could he use incontinent pants whiles doing PE.

 

[sawjd]

Hello Chris,

 

Thanks for reply. K is seven years old. I asked them about K getting changed somewhere else yesterday (at the IEP) but they said he would have to ask if he felt embarrased about it and he could change seperately from the class. He won't bother asking, even though we have told him to speak to the teachers about his worries, he won't.

 

I will do a email to the SENCO and advise her i think. I really want to move him out of this school, they don't take this seriously.

 

Not sure about incontinence pads, would they show ?. I will look into it, think they have them at boots. Thanks for the info.

 

best wishes

 

sarni

[Paula]

I just wanted to add thet my son used to be like youre son with the soiling of the pants and the wriggleing around all crusty and uncomfortable we thought it would never ever end.It did.

 

I found that my sons bowels improved with age and dietery changes.I used to give him sugar free dilute pop but found that the sweetners in it made his bowels worse so i switched to narmal sugar type pop,i cut out fizz y drinks and processed foods and fed him all fresh products all the time.......it was realy difficult to implement but it did make a difference.

 

hes now 16 and has no problems at all with his bowels and marked underwear and constapatioan and anal leakage are thank god a thing of the past.

 

it will all work out in the end.

 

Good luck and i hope you sort something out with the school

 

[call me jaded]

What about a pad, then cycle shorts with the legs cut shorter and ordinary shorts on top?

 

You should be able to refer yourself to the continence nurse in your PCT - they will be able to put you in touch with the nappy service too.

 

If you're going to cut one thing out of his diet I would try the artificial sweetener aspartame ('no added sugar') first of all.