psychotherapy and AS

[Louisamay]

Hi. This is my first posting. I would like your comments on psychotherapy and AS. My AS partner (not diagnosed or acknowledged) has been in psychotherapy for the past 20 years. What are your thoughts about an AS being in an interminable psychotherapy? If the therapist has zero knowledge of AS, what would he be missing about his AS patient which then allowed the work to be interminable? and finally, what would an AS person be getting out of this? Thanks in anticipation for your comments. LouisaMay

 

 

[keith1]

Could help. Everyone has issues.

[Tally]

Hi LouisaMay, and welcome to the forum.

 

I am an adult with Asperger's and some mental health issues (mostly depression/anxiety). I have had some very unhelpful psychotherapy before my diagnosis of Asperger's. Since my diagnosis, however, I saw a therapist who had a good knowledge of AS/ASD through previous work with CAMHS, and she was extremely helpful.

 

When a person has Asperger's, it can be difficult to separate the AS issues from the mental health ones. I've had difficulties where, say, I might say I feel like I am different to other people, and the therapist has become fixated on this as a self-esteem issue. Certainly this might be linked to a self-esteem issue if I felt like I was different and therefor inferior to other people. Therapy can involve looking at your feelings and gradually changing the way you think to something that is more realistic. Trying to convince me I am normal is not realistic, but trying to teach me that my differences don't make me a bad person would actually be a realistic belief for me to hold and would be a helpful thing a therapist could help me with.

 

Therapy can be helpful for people with AS who have mental health issues, but often needs to be adapted. After 20 years you've really got to ask yourself whether the therapist is taking the right approach here.

[trekster]

Hello

 

I totally agree with Tallys POV here. There are some forms of psychology that can actually hurt AS folk for example psychoanalysis. CBT is thought of as helpful to some ASD folk and ive had a combination of that and a number of different counsellors. For couples Relate counsellors have had some success but try not to get drawn into the "Cassandra syndrome" belief (some rubbish about NT partners developing asperger syndrome as a result of being with an asperger partner, as though you could catch it from them (sarcasm)).

 

One excellent book ive found is "the anxiety and depression workbook for dummies" mines missing at the moment and im lost without it.

 

Is there a possibility that he could get a diagnosis in your area?

[Karen A]

Hi and welcome to the Forum.

Does your partner feel they are gaining from psychotherapy enough for it to be worth continuing ?

 

There is some research to suggest that CBT can be helpful for individuals with AS.However there is little research evidence to demonstrate that individual psychotherapy long term is effective.The general view amongst professionals is that long term individual psychotherapy for those with AS may not be effective because it is based on one to one work in a relationship which involves exploring emotions and requires personal insight which people with AS may not have or be able to do.

 

Having said that.Ben is 12.He had intensive weekly individual therapy with CAMHS for three years.He benefited hugely from the experience.However he still has many of the Social Communicattion Difficulties that come with having an AS diagnosis.

 

I do not have AS however I have been in long term individual psychotherapy for over ten years.It saved my life and my marriage.I am now very well.However I am not sure that I want to stop.I see it as a very positive thing.I have friends that spend money on home improvements,holidays or beauty treatments.I spend some money each week on taking some time on my mental well being.I think that is a positive thing.

I go to the gym regularly.I realised some time ago that many people use personal trainers.Most of those who use personal trainers look fitter than I could dream of.However they are happy to pay for someone to keep them in physical shape.They do not see it as a weakness.So why should I feel bad about investing in personal mental health.

 

..My therapist has now been with me for over ten years through a mental breakdown,house moves,both my boys going through primary school,Ben being diagnosed with AS and multiple close family bereavements.She knows me better almost anyone.I do not feel the need to stop seeing her.

 

As regards AS and psychotherapy I think one of the most important issues is how open a psychotherapist is to learn about AS.I do not know how much my psychotherapist knew about AS before we found out that Ben has AS.However I think she would be open to listening and learning.

Some psychotherapists have ideas that may make it difficult to work with individuals with AS in a helpful way.For example the CAMHS psychotherapist that worked with my husband and myself continued to believe that Ben was as he was because he had suffered from childhood trauma even after an AS diagnosis.He was excelllent in some respects but his refusal to accept that Ben has AS has made it very dificult for us to come to terms with the diagnosis.

 

I think that it is very difficult to judge whether your partner is benefiting enough to continue with individual psychotherapy.This is even more the case if you have not been in therapy yourself.My partner is also in long term therapy and we were in therapy together with CAMHS for three years.So my partner is probably more able than most to undrerstand my therapy.However he would not advise me regarding whether to finish or not.

 

We were saying the other day that long term individual therapy cannot really be understood unless you have done it.Even then my partners individual therapist works in a very different way to my therapist.l

 

I hope that is useful.I have many things that I know little about.However having had more therapy input than any family is now likely to get I do have experience in this area.

I thought I would add.If your question arises from difficulties in your relationship then I do think that copuples work may be more helpful than individual work.

I know having done both that individual work by definition will focus on what the individual sees as the problem.It does not give an oppurtunity to explore the partners perspective.So your partner could be in individual therapy and still not address any of the issues that you see as the difficulties.

 

Karen.

 

[Karen A]

Hi again.

I thought that if you want to read more there is a book that might be helpful.

Asperger Syndrome and Psychotherapy .

By Paula Jacobsen.

Published by JKP.

Karen.

[Louisamay]

Hi and welcome to the Forum.

Does your partner feel they are gaining from psychotherapy enough for it to be worth continuing ?

 

There is some research to suggest that CBT can be helpful for individuals with AS.However there is little research evidence to demonstrate that individual psychotherapy long term is effective.The general view amongst professionals is that long term individual psychotherapy for those with AS may not be effective because it is based on one to one work in a relationship which involves exploring emotions and requires personal insight which people with AS may not have or be able to do.

 

Having said that.Ben is 12.He had intensive weekly individual therapy with CAMHS for three years.He benefited hugely from the experience.However he still has many of the Social Communicattion Difficulties that come with having an AS diagnosis.

 

I do not have AS however I have been in long term individual psychotherapy for over ten years.It saved my life and my marriage.I am now very well.However I am not sure that I want to stop.I see it as a very positive thing.I have friends that spend money on home improvements,holidays or beauty treatments.I spend some money each week on taking some time on my mental well being.I think that is a positive thing.

I go to the gym regularly.I realised some time ago that many people use personal trainers.Most of those who use personal trainers look fitter than I could dream of.However they are happy to pay for someone to keep them in physical shape.They do not see it as a weakness.So why should I feel bad about investing in personal mental health.

 

..My therapist has now been with me for over ten years through a mental breakdown,house moves,both my boys going through primary school,Ben being diagnosed with AS and multiple close family bereavements.She knows me better almost anyone.I do not feel the need to stop seeing her.

 

As regards AS and psychotherapy I think one of the most important issues is how open a psychotherapist is to learn about AS.I do not know how much my psychotherapist knew about AS before we found out that Ben has AS.However I think she would be open to listening and learning.

Some psychotherapists have ideas that may make it difficult to work with individuals with AS in a helpful way.For example the CAMHS psychotherapist that worked with my husband and myself continued to believe that Ben was as he was because he had suffered from childhood trauma even after an AS diagnosis.He was excelllent in some respects but his refusal to accept that Ben has AS has made it very dificult for us to come to terms with the diagnosis.

 

I think that it is very difficult to judge whether your partner is benefiting enough to continue with individual psychotherapy.This is even more the case if you have not been in therapy yourself.My partner is also in long term therapy and we were in therapy together with CAMHS for three years.So my partner is probably more able than most to undrerstand my therapy.However he would not advise me regarding whether to finish or not.

 

We were saying the other day that long term individual therapy cannot really be understood unless you have done it.Even then my partners individual therapist works in a very different way to my therapist.l

 

I hope that is useful.I have many things that I know little about.However having had more therapy input than any family is now likely to get I do have experience in this area.

I thought I would add.If your question arises from difficulties in your relationship then I do think that copuples work may be more helpful than individual work.

I know having done both that individual work by definition will focus on what the individual sees as the problem.It does not give an oppurtunity to explore the partners perspective.So your partner could be in individual therapy and still not address any of the issues that you see as the difficulties.

 

Karen.

 

Hi Karen

 

Thanks for this. I too have been in psychotherapy for several years only recently finishing. I would dearly like my AS husband to finish his therapy as it does use up our scarce resources and I do not think that either myself or our children benefit at all. I wonder if you could comment on the following, which I have posted to the site? I'd like your comments on the issue of me(wife and mother) instigating all the experiences/activities outside the regular day to day routines. When I discuss this with my AS (not diagnosed)husband he takes great offence at my suggestion that I always take the lead, despite the fact that it is me who instigates anything as a family or indeed as a couple. Would I be right in saying that by joining in with family interactions, AS are saying "I will go along with this because its a small price to pay for living the rest of my life on my terms, left to my own devices, in self-sufficient contentment"? Is it like being in an institution which says there will be break times for outings and recreation, you will go out and take a walk, regardless of whether you want to or not? Is having a family a way of having a structure in which to hide your self-sufficiency and shelter yourself? If you have no concept of mutually sharing experiences, or feel threatened by this, would you not be even more dependent on a physical/material kind of framework, such as a job, having a family etc? Is it common for Aspie's to neither lead or follow? Leading or following suggests an involvement or interaction with others.

 

Thanks

Louisa may.

 

[markn]

As a psychotherapist, I would think it highly unlikely that it is CBT that is being offered as that is normally considered a short term intervention. However, there is a large school of though that believes that it is the most appropriate model of therapy for someone with ASD.

 

I could imagine, if the client had been attending for 20 years, a humanistic model may be appropriate as the focus would be the client's ongoing personal development, which of course, is limitless.

 

I do agree with the earlier post that psychoanalysis would probably not be helpful as the tendency to interpret through a filter of childhood trauma could be counter-productive. I have experienced this in supervision groups where a colleaue has stuck rigidly to her psychodynamic template without any regard for the clients ASD.

[Karen A]

As a psychotherapist, I would think it highly unlikely that it is CBT that is being offered as that is normally considered a short term intervention. However, there is a large school of though that believes that it is the most appropriate model of therapy for someone with ASD.

 

I could imagine, if the client had been attending for 20 years, a humanistic model may be appropriate as the focus would be the client's ongoing personal development, which of course, is limitless.

 

I do agree with the earlier post that psychoanalysis would probably not be helpful as the tendency to interpret through a filter of childhood trauma could be counter-productive. I have experienced this in supervision groups where a colleaue has stuck rigidly to her psychodynamic template without any regard for the clients ASD.

 

 

Oh no......not a psychotherapist who sounds like they know what they are talking about.

We have never had anyone like that here before.

 

Edited when I realised that sounded very bad.

We have never had a psychotherapist here as far as I know.......not that we had a psychotherapist who sounded like they did not know what they were talking about.

Edited July 25, 2010 by Karen A

[Karen A]

Hi Karen

 

Thanks for this. I too have been in psychotherapy for several years only recently finishing. I would dearly like my AS husband to finish his therapy as it does use up our scarce resources and I do not think that either myself or our children benefit at all. I wonder if you could comment on the following, which I have posted to the site? I'd like your comments on the issue of me(wife and mother) instigating all the experiences/activities outside the regular day to day routines. When I discuss this with my AS (not diagnosed)husband he takes great offence at my suggestion that I always take the lead, despite the fact that it is me who instigates anything as a family or indeed as a couple. Would I be right in saying that by joining in with family interactions, AS are saying "I will go along with this because its a small price to pay for living the rest of my life on my terms, left to my own devices, in self-sufficient contentment"? Is it like being in an institution which says there will be break times for outings and recreation, you will go out and take a walk, regardless of whether you want to or not? Is having a family a way of having a structure in which to hide your self-sufficiency and shelter yourself? If you have no concept of mutually sharing experiences, or feel threatened by this, would you not be even more dependent on a physical/material kind of framework, such as a job, having a family etc? Is it common for Aspie's to neither lead or follow? Leading or following suggests an involvement or interaction with others.

 

Thanks

Louisa may.

 

Sorry I do not think I know the answer.

I cannot really give you the AS perspective of an adult.

We are a very unusual family.

Ben has AS but he is 12.He is our younger son.

My husband does not have AS and I would never be diagnosed with AS because the professional view is that any difficulties I had were related to childhood trauma.

Have you tried asking your husband to finish therapy and what does he say ?

 

The only other thing to consider is whether your husband has always been the way he is for as long as you have known him.

AS is by definition a lifelong condition.

So if your huband has AS then it would be expected that his family would have been aware of patterns of interactions since childhood.

If your husband has not been as he is for the time you have known him then it could be that there are other reasons behind his difficulties.

There are other causes of difficulties that can appear similar to AS but are not.

It might be worth reading around AS in adults and/or relationships. There are a few books around on the issue.

Karen.

 

 

[zenemu]

Hi. This is my first posting. I would like your comments on psychotherapy and AS. My AS partner (not diagnosed or acknowledged) has been in psychotherapy for the past 20 years. What are your thoughts about an AS being in an interminable psychotherapy? If the therapist has zero knowledge of AS, what would he be missing about his AS patient which then allowed the work to be interminable? and finally, what would an AS person be getting out of this? Thanks in anticipation for your comments. LouisaMay

 

I think by and large it would probably be down to the therapist and how careful the approach and treatment are. I am sure an ASD mind is a fascinating subject for most therapists, as they work in a very unique and individual way. The problem with psychotherapy and AS is that by the nature of psychotherapy you are exploring areas and subjects and going through processes that are extremely uncomfortable for the AS personality to be open about and to truly experience, and although in small doses it can be beneficial, it is all two easy for any good work to be undone and for a situation to be made worse.

 

In general CBT is the preffered model by which most ASD people find the greatest success. By simply looking at midifiying behaviours rather than motivators people with ASD find it easier to arm themselves with an array mental tools to allow them to better cope with unexpected situations and to help reason through emotions which are often otherwise difficult and confusing.

 

I am not dismissing psychotherapy however, I think a skilled therapist with an indepth knowledge of AS would be quite helpful. However I would question the reasons why your husbands psychotherapist hasn't diagnosed his AS (assuming your assumption that he has it to be correct). I should think most psychotherapists could spot a classic aspie within ten minutes of meeting them.

[Karen A]

I am not dismissing psychotherapy however, I think a skilled therapist with an indepth knowledge of AS would be quite helpful. However I would question the reasons why your husbands psychotherapist hasn't diagnosed his AS (assuming your assumption that he has it to be correct). I should think most psychotherapists could spot a classic aspie within ten minutes of meeting them.

 

 

Hi.

I think the chances of a psychotherapist diagnosing AS vary greatly depending on their orientation.

Ben was seen every week for three years by a CAMHS psychotherapist.She only accepted that he had AS when after three years he still had Social Communication Difficulties which she had been unable to resolve.

My husband and myself worked weekly with her colleague also a CAMHS psychotherapist.We had an excellent relationship with him.However he never accepted that Ben has AS and still insists that Ben's difficulties are the result of very early childhood trauma that originated when I had a nervous breakdown in the first two years of Ben's life....when my own recognised and documented childhood trauma caught up with me.

 

.Some psychoanalytical psychotherapists come from a background that has a strong belief that autism originates in childhood trauma.There are still therapists around who will continue to dig for evidence in a way that is not helpful.

In another thread in the last week an adult here who has a recognised AS diagnosis has described how a counsellor has questioned it.This is not unusual.

 

A CAMHS psychiatrist who worked alongside the psychotherapists was asked to do a 3di by them to prove that Ben did not have AS.She was in no doubt at all that he met the criteria.

The specialist ASD outreach teacher and Specialist SALT thought it laughable that the psychotherapists could ever have thought Ben had anything but AS.

 

Incidently if I am being pedantic unless a psychotherapist is also a DR they are not actually qualified to diagnose anything and certainly not AS.

At the most they might suggest an individual seaks further assessment or they might contribute to a multidisciplinary assessment.

 

I am as I have said a firm believer in the benefits of psychotherapy myself.

However I am not at all sure that most psychotherapists would spot a classic Aspie within 10 minutes of meeting them.

 

Ben and myself were told by a systemic family therapist who co-ordinated a group of users of CAMHS who helped in service development that she had never had a client with AS.

[zenemu]

.Some psychoanalytical psychotherapists come from a background that has a strong belief that autism originates in childhood trauma.There are still therapists around who will continue to dig for evidence in a way that is not helpful.

In another thread in the last week an adult here who has a recognised AS diagnosis has described how a counsellor has questioned it.This is not unusual.

 

I would say that any Psychotherapist that still holds to that very antiquated belief should try reading a few more journals, and should be struck off with immediate with immediate effect until they have caught up with the 21st century. It has been proven time and time again that Aspergers (and all forms of Autism) are pervasive developmental disorders, which almost certainly occur before birth. In fact with the latest imaging technology you can see the physical differences between the Autistic brain, the Aspergers Brain and The neural typical brain. These physical differences in architecture are actually quite significant. We are most definately talking hardware here, not software

 

The childhood trauma theory was thrown around in the mid 1990's for Aspergers just as it was in the 1940's for Autism, and no link has ever been found between the two.

Edited July 26, 2010 by zenemu

[markn]

I am not dismissing psychotherapy however, I think a skilled therapist with an indepth knowledge of AS would be quite helpful. However I would question the reasons why your husbands psychotherapist hasn't diagnosed his AS (assuming your assumption that he has it to be correct). I should think most psychotherapists could spot a classic aspie within ten minutes of meeting them.

 

 

I'm not so sure about that. I've been trying to find an old copy of the magazine you receive each month if you are a member of the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy. Each month, they have a case study and ask three different therapists from different models of therapy to describe how they would work with the client.

 

It was over a year ago now and the case was an autistic man in his early thirties who had been experienecing problems in his relationships with women. Would you believe, none of the responses made any reference to his autism in their "treatment plan".

 

If I can find the article I'll post it up here

[zenemu]

Now you make that point, when I think back I came across a several years ago who had practically testbook signs of Aspergers Syndrome and he had been misdiagnosed as a sociopath and looking at his notes it was almost solely based on his ability to easily lie, which was a mechanism he used as a social crutch to fluidly fit into different specific social groups. Apalling misdiagnosis really, especially tragic as it was one of his "Interests" that had gotten him into a lot of trouble.

[Mumble]

As a psychotherapist, I would think it highly unlikely that it is CBT that is being offered as that is normally considered a short term intervention. However, there is a large school of though that believes that it is the most appropriate model of therapy for someone with ASD.

I've been having CBT for nearly 18 months. It does not have to be a short term intervention but can be the basis of the therapeutic model. Surely that's the point of adjusting to fit the client's needs rather than trying to fit the client to the models available?

 

[Karen A]

I would say that any Psychotherapist that still holds to that very antiquated belief should try reading a few more journals, and should be struck off with immediate with immediate effect until they have caught up with the 21st century. It has been proven time and time again that Aspergers (and all forms of Autism) are pervasive developmental disorders, which almost certainly occur before birth. In fact with the latest imaging technology you can see the physical differences between the Autistic brain, the Aspergers Brain and The neural typical brain. These physical differences in architecture are actually quite significant. We are most definately talking hardware here, not software

 

The childhood trauma theory was thrown around in the mid 1990's for Aspergers just as it was in the 1940's for Autism, and no link has ever been found between the two.

 

 

There are still extremely highly regarded psychotherapists who would certainly not rule out childhood trauma.

I will not go into our family history here because it is much to boring for most here.

However it was thought that Ben had suffered childhood trauma.

We spent three years in psychanalytic psychotherapy weekly as did Ben.

In our case it was known from the outset that I had an extremely traumatic history and that Ben had been with me in the first two years of his life when I was very unwell.

Ben as it turned out did have AS.However if you want to read about how he is doing you can read about it elsewhere.

We believe that the progress Ben has made is due to some extent to the three years of psychotherapy.

 

Things are much more complicated than might be thought.

The latest research on very early childhood trauma demonstrates that it also may cause differences in brain development which show up on imaging technology.

 

''Live Company: Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy with Autistic, Borderline, Deprived and Abused Children'' by Anne Alvarez was recommended to me.

I do not subscribe to many of her ideas and hate some of her use of language.However she is still very highly regarded in some quarters.

 

I should say very clearly that I am not defending these beliefs.It is just that I know that far from needing to read those journals some individuals who subscribe to those beliefs to some extent contribute to them

 

[Louisamay]

Hi Karen. Thanks for your comments. What I have not told you is that my AS(undiagnosed)H, who is in an interminable analysis is an analyst himself! I am also a psychotherapist and Anne Alvarez was my supervisor. In my 20 years experience I am constantly shocked by the lack of information about AS in my therapy/counsellor colleagues and in trainee psychotherapists. How can they begin to spot this if they do not learn about it. I am increasingly of the opinion that just as Silicon Valley and Cambridge Uni are hot spots for Aspergers, so to is the British Institute of Psychoanalysis and the (SAP)Jungian equivalent. It is the perfect institution for an AS. All contact with others is limited to 50 mins! Plenty of time to recover before the next encounter. No eye contact, you neither lead nor have to follow, unless you have something you want to say. If you don't know what to say you can say nothing! It is as highly stuctured a setting as you could wish for. You can hide your Aspiness. You can feel very important, needed, special, ETC etc. My ASH puts all my issues with our marriage down to my relationship with my mother. We are now in couples therapy, but not with someone who is familiar with AS. However he is very experienced and at least he is listening.

 

 

 

''Live Company: Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy with Autistic, Borderline, Deprived and Abused Children'' by Anne Alvarez was recommended to me.

I do not subscribe to many of her ideas and hate some of her use of language.However she is still very highly regarded in some quarters."

Edited July 27, 2010 by call me jaded
to fix quotes

[Karen A]

Hi Karen. Thanks for your comments. What I have not told you is that my AS(undiagnosed)H, who is in an interminable analysis is an analyst himself! I am also a psychotherapist and Anne Alvarez was my supervisor. In my 20 years experience I am constantly shocked by the lack of information about AS in my therapy/counsellor colleagues and in trainee psychotherapists. How can they begin to spot this if they do not learn about it. I am increasingly of the opinion that just as Silicon Valley and Cambridge Uni are hot spots for Aspergers, so to is the British Institute of Psychoanalysis and the (SAP)Jungian equivalent. It is the perfect institution for an AS. All contact with others is limited to 50 mins! Plenty of time to recover before the next encounter. No eye contact, you neither lead nor have to follow, unless you have something you want to say. If you don't know what to say you can say nothing! It is as highly stuctured a setting as you could wish for. You can hide your Aspiness. You can feel very important, needed, special, ETC etc. My ASH puts all my issues with our marriage down to my relationship with my mother. We are now in couples therapy, but not with someone who is familiar with AS. However he is very experienced and at least he is listening.

 

 

 

''Live Company: Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy with Autistic, Borderline, Deprived and Abused Children'' by Anne Alvarez was recommended to me.

I do not subscribe to many of her ideas and hate some of her use of language.However she is still very highly regarded in some quarters." Quote

 

 

Thankyou.

Both of our boys are on holiday from school.

They are 12 [ben AS] and 14.

My husband does not finish work until Friday.Hence I am spending more of the day than I am used to in the house.

I came on the Forum this morning read your post and it will make me smile at periodic intervals all day.

I did post the last post thinking that the psychotherapy world is probably not so large and that it was a bit of a risk.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh no......not a psychotherapist who sounds like they know what they are talking about.

We have never had anyone like that here before.

 

 

Edited when I realised that sounded very bad.

We have never had a psychotherapist here as far as I know.......not that we had a psychotherapist who sounded like they did not know what they were talking about

 

When I posted the above I obviously had not guessed that you were a psychotherapist .

Karen.

 

 

 

[baddad]

Hi Louisamay -

 

I don't really know much about the benefits or pitfalls of long term psychotherapy, but one thing that does concern me is that assumption that your partner has AS. If he has been in psychotherapy for 20 years or more then obviously he has psychological issues, but who has concluded that the implications of these psychological issues 'add up' to, or even include AS?

Does your partner feel he is undiagnosed/unacknowledged AS, or is this your diagnosis? Has this ever been mentioned to his psychotherapist (who even if he isn't an autism 'expert' must have some knowledge of autism through his work, surely?), and if so what did he/she think? If not mentioned, why not - is this because your boyfriend doesn't agree with your diagnosis of him, or that he doesn't feel it is relevant to the issues he is seeing his psychotherapist about, or some other reason?

 

I won't go into my own feelings regarding the value/dangers of psychotherapy itself - other than to say that often it seems to have more to do with the 'connections' made between the therapist and the patient than the realities of the outside world - i.e. if the therapist's views 'clash' with those of the patient the patient just finds another therapist whose views don't 'clash'. The reason I make that point is that it does seem as though that could be central to the dynamic you are describing - i.e. you have decided that the problems your boyfriend has/you have in your relationship can be ascribed to your boyfriends (and your own? I wasn't sure on that point) undiagnosed autism, and your boyfriend and his therapist don't share that view. You are now seeking a different therapist/therapy that does reinforce or accommodate your views, and trying to steer your partner towards it.

 

Re-reading your post - I notice that you say you are 'constantly shocked about the lack of awareness regarding AS among your colleagues'. I too find that quite shocking, but perhaps for different reasons(?) My own concern is that a lack of awareness among professionals offering counselling to people suggests, at the very least, a major flaw in the whole 'disciplne' of counselling, because it totally flies in the face of 'holistic assessment'. Sadly, that only reinforces my view that it can all be very 'wishy-washy' - little more than two like-minded people sitting in a room and reinforcing one another's 'world view'. The second issue your assertion regarding your colleagues raises for me is that of perspective - because while I have no problem believing that psychotherapists may be very uninformed regarding autism (or any other medical/health issues that might be affecting their patients) your interpretation of their skills (or lack thereof) is based on your own entirely subjective evaluation. You could have many colleagues who feel that their understanding of autism is equal to or even greater than yours, but because you disagree with their views on autism you reject them.

 

As I said, I don't really know the in's and outs of long term therapy of any kind, but my opinion on this situation is that if your partner feels it is 'helpful' and his therapist thinks it is 'helpful' then maybe you just have to accept that. It is, of course, possible that even if your partner thinks his therapy is helpful it's actually not, or maybe even counterproductive or destructive, but even if that is the case it is, ultimately, his choice. He should certainly listen to, and respect, your opinions - that should be part of any relationship - but if having done so he disagrees with you then you can really only 'agree to differ'.

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

[Karen A]

Hi Louisamay -

 

I don't really know much about the benefits or pitfalls of long term psychotherapy, but one thing that does concern me is that assumption that your partner has AS. If he has been in psychotherapy for 20 years or more then obviously he has psychological issues, but who has concluded that the implications of these psychological issues 'add up' to, or even include AS?

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

 

Not all individuals who are in long term therapy have issues.

My husband is an extremely mentally healthy individual who feels that individual therapy allows him some personal space.

I admit he is in an extremely stressful job and has been married to me for twenty two years so he probably needs some help.

 

I have also continued with individual personal therapy although I could easily finish if I wished to do so.

As I said earlier people use personal trainers at the gym when they are fitter than the personal trainer in order to stay in physical shape.

Being in therapy can be exactly the same.

I have friends who spend money on home improvements,holidays,nights out or beauty treatments.

I have opted to spend some of the money my mum left to me on therapy.

Far from being a symptom of being ill or having issues it has been a very wise investment.

 

Also psychanalysts and psychotherapists remain in therapy as part of their supervision and continuing development and not because they have issues.

The fact that you assume an individual has unresolved issues because the happen to be in long term therapy demonstrates that you certainly don't know much about it.

 

.

 

Edited July 27, 2010 by Karen A

[baddad]

Also psychanalysts and psychotherapists remain in therapy as part of their supervision and continuing development and not because they have issues.

The fact that you assume an individual has unresolved issues because the happen to be in long term therapy demonstrates that you certainly don't know much about it.

Karen.

 

My apologies - apparently psychotherapy can also be a hobby or part of an ongoing training programme for psychotherapists. The latter I was aware of - i.e. most psychiatrists have psychiatrists themselves - but the hobbyist side of it, I admit, is new to me. It doesn't seem that far, too me, removed from the point I made in the last paragraph of my original post, but as the distinction has been made I'm happy to put my hand up and declare my lack of knowledge regarding recreational psychotherapy is minimal.

 

L&P

 

BD

[Karen A]

My apologies - apparently psychotherapy can also be a hobby or part of an ongoing training programme for psychotherapists. The latter I was aware of - i.e. most psychiatrists have psychiatrists themselves - but the hobbyist side of it, I admit, is new to me. It doesn't seem that far, too me, removed from the point I made in the last paragraph of my original post, but as the distinction has been made I'm happy to put my hand up and declare my lack of knowledge regarding recreational psychotherapy is minimal.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

 

No.

Sorry I cannot call it a hobby.

Far from being a hobby it is a discipline, a lengthy commitment,extremely hard work,exhausting and not helped by the fact that unlike one of your other ideas about therapists mine does disagree with me and challenge me much of the time.

I will shut up now.Having discovered in the last few days that there are two psychotherapists here who knows whether she is reading this too.

Karen.

Edited July 27, 2010 by Karen A

[trekster]

I've been having CBT for nearly 18 months. It does not have to be a short term intervention but can be the basis of the therapeutic model. Surely that's the point of adjusting to fit the client's needs rather than trying to fit the client to the models available?

 

i wish i could get long term CBT, but i cant get any form of counselling on the NHS.

[Mumble]

i wish i could get long term CBT, but i cant get any form of counselling on the NHS.

I think I'm lucky because as a student my student health centre has a full counselling and psychiatry centre attached (not sure what that says about students mind you! ). I have one year to go on my course and they're working now to look at transitions to other longterm services within the NHS. It may have been difficult to get this if it hadn't been proved effective already.

 

[Blaise]

Hi everyone. This is my first post outside of the 'saying hello' bit.

 

It's of great interest to me as I, too, am a psychotherapist and have recently been diagnosed with AS, at the ripe old age of 52. Due to some specialist training I've undergone, I often work with adults with AS, and it gradually occurred to me that the reason I 'got' them when the rest of the world seemed not to, was because they were just like me! Now that I'm getting used to the idea of being AS (which I have never seen as a disability; more another way of looking at the world) I am getting loads of 'flashbacks' to situations in my life that absolutely screamed "AS!" - just can't believe I didn't see it!

[Karen A]

Hi everyone. This is my first post outside of the 'saying hello' bit.

 

It's of great interest to me as I, too, am a psychotherapist and have recently been diagnosed with AS, at the ripe old age of 52. Due to some specialist training I've undergone, I often work with adults with AS, and it gradually occurred to me that the reason I 'got' them when the rest of the world seemed not to, was because they were just like me! Now that I'm getting used to the idea of being AS (which I have never seen as a disability; more another way of looking at the world) I am getting loads of 'flashbacks' to situations in my life that absolutely screamed "AS!" - just can't believe I didn't see it!

 

 

Hi.

Welcome to the Forum.

......and then there were three. <'> <'>

This is one of the most interesting threads I have ever read.

I know from having been here so long that adults with AS are very keen to find psychotherapists that understand them.

Karen.

Edited July 30, 2010 by Karen A