keith1

You're projecting. The story is plausible, though I agree it's probably fake.

NTs have social thinking, that Theory of Mind kludge. But social stuff was never meant to be thought about at all. That's where we have access to a purer form of interaction. We can sense everything. In the next century I would like Aspergers people to step up and let go of all these rigid forms, words, systems, tricks. At the moment you're all desperately trying to copy something that's fake to begin with! We have access to the real stuff, if we dare to know it.

How should she sound? Should she have angry defensive walls like so many autistics? "Theory of Mind" is a myth, btw. It's an approximation, a trick to use if your direct perception of the world is misfiring. And autism is just extreme sensitivity, nothing more or less. In the right environment with no dodgy pressures, any autistic will appear perfectly healthy. Because they are. We're just sensitive and reactive to an extent that almost nobody is ready to accept yet. The truth is truly mindblowing.

If he isn't actually upsetting you, if the only problem is you worrying yourself, then just stop it. If he can't deal with you that's his problem, AS or not.

We're going to lose our benefits and just have to accept it.

Could help. Everyone has issues.

I'm awesome.

Maybe they have a new policy to refuse all such requests.

The two days between the 2nd round and quarter finals of the World Cup are killing me.

First series I've watched since they brought it back. I like the new doctor but I don't like how it's all about him, like he's a god. His overconfidence is his weakness, imo.

I'm just saying, IF the conflict is about being the alpha male then, out of the AS person and the non-AS person, the AS one has a far better chance of seeing the situation objectively and learning to act in a way that reduces the tension.

Is that what other monkeys do? Talking between human males is a way to establish hierarchy without using violence. Non-Aspergers people don't respond to reason, only to power. Dress it up in whatever comforting social lie you want. This is a specific problem annross is having and deserves to be met honestly, head on. Yes, your husband needs to be the dominant male. Your son can't give him the non-verbal cues to allow this. Your husband will not be satisfied and NO AMOUNT of talking to him will work. Your son, on the other hand, can be talked to. Failing that, just keep them apart when there's a female (including yourself) around - at least until your son is big enough to defend himself.

Aspergers boys don't fit into the power hierarchies that exist in all animal kingdoms. Your husband, and anyone of a nominally heigher rank, will feel a strong need to assert their authority. This will often lead to violence if they don't have the words. You can explain that his authority isn't being questioned but it's his animal instincts, not his intellect, that are in play. It's just nature. You have a better chance of explaining this to your son and helping him act submissive. In these situations it's up to the person with Aspergers to take control because only they can reason beyond their animal nature. Basically, your husband will never stop feeling threatened until your son learns to manipulate him or leaves home.

I'd just keep being nice to it.

Mine too. School was fine. I never enjoyed it until the last year when I gave up on classes and started getting invited to parties. Never got bullied maybe because it was a middle class village and you could always gain coolness if you were good at indifference and sarcasm. University was overwhelming, I dropped out within two weeks (finished an Open University degree years later). Seems a common story, either you stay good academically or you get decent socially, but maybe it's too much to do both.