Peeing in the floor!! And stranger danger...

[Zebedee]

Hi All!

 

Our son is 5 with Aspergers (not officially diagnosed as he is coping so far). From time to time he pee's on the floor. Especially first thing in the morning and if he is unsettled about something. Recently he has done it 3 days in a row. Once in his Nan's washing basket and twice on bedroom floor. The other day, he was upset about something and took himself into the porch and pee'd on the mat.

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm sure some of it is just him expressing his frustration / anger / upset, but I'm not sure if the morning thing is him misbehaving / being lazy. No matter how many times we have words with him, he keeps doing it even though he promises not to do it again.

 

As for Stranger Danger... we can't seem to drum it into him about not speaking to strangers. He's such a sociable chap and will chat to just about anybody. Yesterday, I found him in our back garden chatting to next doors window cleaner. I heard him telling this man his name, our names, his age, our ages - then I grabbed him in doors!

Again, we keep trying to explain about possible dangers to no avail... Is this all part of the Aspergers do you think??

 

Any comments much appreciated, but please be gentle, I'm feeling a bit fragile about the whole thing!

 

Zeb xxxx

Edited July 18, 2010 by Zebedee

[coolblue]

Children with ASDs often have problems developing bladder control. So this could be a case of being 'caught short' - especially if he's upset.

They also often have sensitivities to smell, so it could be that your son doesn't like the smell in the bathroom - it might not be a bad smell, might be a cleaning product.

Boys also have problems with their aim. This has been a big issue for my son. It wouldn't have surprised me if he got so fed up with being told not to miss the loo, that he took his custom elsewhere.

 

I wouldn't bother about 'having words'. He has almost undoubtedly got problems with processing language, even if they are not obvious. You need to get the message across in a positive way. Give him a reward every time he uses the loo. Chocolate buttons are cheap and work well. In our son's case it was a penny each time. He soon had a massive collection and thought he was very wealthy! If he gets into the habit of using one particular place, like his bedroom, give him a bucket instead and reward him if he uses the bucket, then after a while call time on the bucket and move the target to the loo.

 

You can get stickers to go in toilets that change colour if the child has a direct hit. They can help make using the loo more interesting. Hope this helps.

 

 

cb

[coolblue]

Oh, and the chatting to strangers: what's common in AS is difficulty in controlling speech. Long rigmaroles about whatever the child happens to be interested in at the time. Because some children with AS aren't good at recognising faces, it can be difficult for them to work out who is a stranger, and who isn't. The social rules about who you can talk to about what and who might do what to you, are immensely complicated and typically developing 5 year-olds struggle with them.

 

He's only five. He will learn. It will get better. It will be a while before he's going anywhere on his own anyway, and by the time he is, he will probably understand the issue of strangers better.

 

cb

[KezT]

Our son is 5 with Aspergers (not officially diagnosed as he is coping so far

 

a bit confused here - your post is all about probems you see where he is not coping..... is he under dx/paed/ed pysch at all? what makes you so sure it is AS?

 

As to the toileting thing - a lot of children use this as a way of controlling/geting attention, or just as a protest (often subconscious) against something they don't like. Have there been any changes in his life recently? At 5 years old it is quite normal for children to react to a change in this way. If so,the text book way of dealing with it is not to make a big deal out of it, and wait for him to get bored. I found that offering rewards for getting to the toilet worked beter tho;)

 

Have you tried asking him why he hasn't gone to the toilet? There could be a physical reason for the change in behaviour - an infection which meansi t comes suddenly asnd he doesn't have time to get anywhere else.

 

stranger danger is also a difficult concept for a 5 year old - speaking to the windw cleaner isn't really a problem tbh! children ought to feel they can speak to adults and that their opinion an thoughts are worth sharing. If you teach him that he must never speak to anyone he doesn't know, he will run into tremendous difficukties in many future situations! Stick to making sure he knows he must never GO anywhere with anyone (even people he does know) without speaking to you first - remember, 98% of all child abuse is by family members or family friends!

[justine1]

a bit confused here - your post is all about probems you see where he is not coping..... is he under dx/paed/ed pysch at all? what makes you so sure it is AS?

 

As to the toileting thing - a lot of children use this as a way of controlling/geting attention, or just as a protest (often subconscious) against something they don't like. Have there been any changes in his life recently? At 5 years old it is quite normal for children to react to a change in this way. If so,the text book way of dealing with it is not to make a big deal out of it, and wait for him to get bored. I found that offering rewards for getting to the toilet worked beter tho;)

 

Have you tried asking him why he hasn't gone to the toilet? There could be a physical reason for the change in behaviour - an infection which meansi t comes suddenly asnd he doesn't have time to get anywhere else.

 

stranger danger is also a difficult concept for a 5 year old - speaking to the windw cleaner isn't really a problem tbh! children ought to feel they can speak to adults and that their opinion an thoughts are worth sharing. If you teach him that he must never speak to anyone he doesn't know, he will run into tremendous difficukties in many future situations! Stick to making sure he knows he must never GO anywhere with anyone (even people he does know) without speaking to you first - remember, 98% of all child abuse is by family members or family friends!

I agree with the above I wouldnt jump to any conclusions about the AS.My six year old has AS and he would wee on the upstairs landing and twice in the lounge but it was due to stress because of school.It didnt last very long but even though he has a diagnosis the behaviour was not excused.He had to clean it up himself and was told that it was wrong and he should use the toilet.So I would say it maybe a good idea to set about laying down the rules,if he doesnt wee on the floor for a week then he can get a treat.I didnt punnish my son but by cleaning it up himself he realised it wasnt fair on me.He was very distressed at the time and was going through alot.

 

 

[LS2242]

I have been told to put a ping pong ball in the toilet bowl. Makes going to the toilet more fun and helps with aiming.

 

As for stranger danger - If he was in his own garden then I am sure he would preceive this as ok with him being in his own territory. Some people do however have no/little sense of danger.

[Zebedee]

Evening all! Our little sunshine has been under hospital review for 18 months now, with the consultant person - not entirely sure of her title. She is without doubt that he has AS although mild but is reluctant to diagnose yet as he is not struggling at school.

 

Thank you all for your comments. I am going to do the stickers and the ping ball!! It's a great way to gain incentive and it sounds fun!! He wet himself at school today. I think it may be because of moving to year one with new teacher in Sept.

 

I will emphasise to him about not GOING anywhere with strangers, those comments from you were helpful. He is such a dream son, perfect in every way and I wouldn't change him, just wanted to know if others had experienced the same... Thanks everyone,

 

Zeb xx