keeping a lid on my emotions

[Paula]

I just want to scream and scream and shout and then run away...............

 

Utterly fed up with dealing with my son......not helped i know by the fact ive spent 3 months 24/7 with him due to him leaving school.............im sick to death of him i realy am..........im fed up with him controlling ever aspect of the day,of bheing an awkward so and so an imovable object theres no reasoning with......I keep it all bottled up i try to remaine calm and 99% of the time i do i try to remember hes got aspergers ect ect...........but sometimes you just want to shout for gods sake enough !!!!!!!!!!! and shake him........whats the point though,it would solve nothing.......its the hopelessness of the situation at times that gets me down.

the knock on effect on my own health is terrible,im a manic depressive anyway but the constant stress is makeing my own symptoms especialy the depressions worse than ever...........

 

 

Im hopeing today will bring some sort of sucess.......hes of to see someone about a volunteer project where he would work alongside a mentor doing gardening jobs ect........fingers crossed it works out......sounds rotton but i just want him out my haire even if it is just 1 day a week.........

 

I feel at times like such a bad mum for thinking these things about my own son.......but im human and it would test the patcience of a saint at times and that im not.

[JsMum]

Hi Paula

 

Do you recieve any additional support for your Manic Depression,(which is now called bipolar disorder)I would look into contacting you local mental health services to see if there are any theraputic services that you could accesss, if there is not anything available, write a complaint to your mental health providers.

 

What about looking at services that provide Living skills, such as semi independance living, where he will learn cooking, laundry, shopping skills with support of trained carers that understand AS/LD exct...

 

National Autistic Society can help you search your local area or out of county if its the nearest to you.

 

Have you had any assessments from social services to look at support within the home, sessional work, respite?

 

I understand its a battle, just gone throw it myself but we do now recieve respite even though J doesnt want to go, if he doesnt we will not be able to stay together anymore.

 

I would defo look at getting further support via NAS, or Contact a Family.

 

And Im sure others here will give you further support, I am going throw some emotional issues myself but realise its because I needed a break, that is probably the biggest thing you do need at the moment.

 

Hugs, and thoughts xxx

 

JsMumx

[trekster]

Sounds like your son is having difficulty adjusting without the routine of school.

 

"Huddersfield and Halifax Network" http://www.autism.org.uk/directory/search-results/pg=1/resources/1208.aspx

is a supported living scheme and residential service in your area.

 

http://www.unitedresponse.org.uk/

 

"Huddersfield support group for autism" http://www.autismhuddersfield.co.uk/

Holds monthly meetings attended by parents, professionals, and children,

young adults and adults with autism. There is sometimes a speaker.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/directory/search-results/pg=1/resources/759.aspx

Kirlees adult placement scheme for short breaks and respite.

[Paula]

Thanks sometimes you just need to go arghhhhhhhhh and then start againe...........

 

yes i know manic depression now goes by the term bi polar but either way its the same thing isnt it........I used to be under a physciatrist years ago and medicated up to the eyeballs on everything going but youre unable to function when youre that drugged up you cant stay awake at times.....after years of liveing with the condition i now self manage ,i avoide or try to avoid triggers and do other stuff that helps.......

 

Ive been out with me son today and he starts a scheme next thursday run be the local mencap so fingers x it all goes ok and then after he initialy does 1 day a week he can attend up to four days a week but i dont want to pile on the load in case like someone said a while ago it becomes too much and he refuses to go.......

 

Today has been a better day thankgod.........Swings and roundabouts all the time.

 

treckstar thankyou for info i have heard and been invovled with the support group.......Im not at the stage yet where id want him liveing away from home.......hes a paine but hes our paine and i love him hes happy enough its just sometimes you think ive had enough luckily i bounce back just as quickly you have to dont you else youd go under and you cant go under.........