Stopped going to school

[Known]

I have seen lots of info on how people have managed to get their children back into school. My son is 12 years old with high functioning autism. My son is currently refusing to engage with anyone to do with schools and also refusing home tutoring. He feels exhausted and tired most of the times and complains of lack of sleep. He does not do much or go out. He has been out of school since March this year. I have following people involved, EWO, home tuition, CAMHS, parent partnership, GP. I am having a common assessment framework prepared. I have also asked for a social worker. Tribunal is due in December. See if we can get an ed psych report done. My son has done a statement detailing his difficulties at school. I am trying to encourage him to come to Tribunal. The schools have said that he is absolutely fine and does not require an assessment and that we are the problem. I have two other boys who do not have problems attending school.

 

Any info will be appreciated. How can I get my son learning again. He is bright but says no one can teach him. He does not wish to do on-line learning as well.

[Sally44]

I think the most important report is going to be the Educatonal Psychologist. They should look at how he learns. What his strengths and weaknesses are. They should carry out standardised assessments and should advice on the kind of educational environment he needs.

Are you thinking of getting an independent report?

 

He will also need an assessment by a SALT for all aspects of speech and communication and SOCIAL INTERACTION. It is very important that social communication and interaction skills are also assessed because school is a 'social' place and if he has difficulties in those areas he will flounder. If he has a diagnosis of HFA as opposed to Aspergers, that would suggest he did not have typical language acquisition and has significant language/communication difficulties to get that diagnosis in the first place.

 

What has the EP and SALT reports said so far?

What input does he have from either of them?

What support did he have in school?

What kind of school was he at?

 

There are timescales to submit evidence to tribunal. Make sure yours is in in time.

 

Is the tribunal about a refusal to assess towards a Statement?

[coolblue]

Hi

 

Has he had any problems attending school before?

 

If he's complaining of lack of sleep and fatigue I would get his health checked out. Following a bout of tonsillitis when she was 12 my daughter was too exhausted to attend school for months. It also severely disrupted her previously normal sleep pattern. If she hadn't had tonsillitis, we would have assumed she was a 'school refuser'. In spite of claims that she had a fabricated illness and that her symptoms were of 'psychological' origins, blood tests suggest she has actually had glandular fever. The autistic spectrum is associated with immune system problems, so it's something worth considering.

 

Also, my son (ASD) used to be sluggish and tired all the time until we switched from cows' milk to goats' milk. Again, casein and gluten intolerances are associated with autistic spectrum disorders, and are worth investigating.

 

cb

[Known]

The tribunal is refusal to assess. You are quite right in pointing me in the right direction. I haven't got SALT after the diagnosis. I have got one that was done before on my insistence. My son was diagnosed aged 10. The SALT reports that Nirav's undertstanding of the language is good, he needs time in processing the information, he finds it difficult to work in noisy environments etc. but this assessment was not carried out after the diagnosis. On the whole it does not say anything negative. We need a recent SALT but my son is saying that there is nothing wrong with his speech and will be difficult for us to get him assessed. He keeps on saying that there are no schools out there for him - bad teachers, bad students, wrong equipment, lessons not challenging etc.

 

My son was at a state primary school and he often refused school then due to bullying. I put him in a small private school for Year 7 in September and he lasted only a term and half. The school did not support my son and I have since withdrawn him from that school. He is on a school roll in a mainstream. It is not a suitable school and he will not be going there, therefore the tribunal. The EP should happen in October and that is what I am waiting for. The primary school refused an EP on my request. I would not be in this position if the schools were supportive. My son is generally a happy lovable child but when he has a meltdown I am sure you all know what it likes. He has only few meltdowns now due to boredom.

 

His anxieties to do with private school started beginning of January. I had a meeting with the school and they assured me everything was fine. It was far from fine, he used to get detentions for not submitting homework, missed equipment, being part of another group who were misbehaving and he just happened to be there.

 

I have read some of your threads and would be interested to know how to get my son motivated to start learning even if it is at home whilst I am dealing with the tribunal.

[JsMum]

Firstly he sounds like he could have a accompanying Depression, the pressure of been forced back into school could well make this worse, he will need a very careful management, he sounds like he is totally disengaged in educational, even home tutition which is serious for his potential and future and again he will need specialised support.

 

Secondly, just because he seemed fine when he was in school 6 months ago, it doesnt mean there wasnt problems for your son, it sounds like the school are been very unsympathetic and laying the blame on you, the parent.

 

If he was given home tuition it is very unlikely there wasnt problems at school, far tooo many schools are saying children especially those with hidden or passive disabilities there fine when there not all because they know the impacting financial implications and it is just so sad becuase the person who suffers the most is the very person where trying to give an education to.

 

My son could not be educated in a mainstream setting, it was too noisy, distracting, too big, he required a tailored enviroement, and goes to a specialist school, where he accesses specialist support for his ASD needs, and other comorbid needs.

 

My son missed 18months of education and a useful booklet I found interesting was this:

 

School Phobia and school refusal.

 

Research into causes and remedies.

 

to get a copy Ring 01753637002

and ask for the ISBN 1 903880 59 9

 

The booklet is £8 including p+p

 

The website is www.lga.gov.uk

 

If I had of listened to school in the past my son wouldnt of obtained a Statement, or be in a specialist school now, some teachers just dont see the difficulties our children have, he has HFA and by the sound of it mental health issues now due to not getting his needs met. dont listen to them, if you feel he has needs that require a Statement then go throw with the assessment at least.

 

If you need legal support I recommend you Ring National Autistic Society who can give you a list of solisitor firms that can support your sons needs and for means tested benefits there is legal aid.

 

Be careful not to sign any contracts too so if they mention any contracts come back to me.

 

I will give you links on Attendance and contracts and what the LAW actually is.

 

In the meantime I recommend you ring Youngminds.

 

They have a oncall psychiatrist that you can book and discuss this with especially the symptoms your son is displaying around the depression.

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/parents/parents-intro

 

They send my son some really great little booklets on all sorts of teenage issues.

 

Let us know how things develop, good luck,

 

JsMumx

[JsMum]

 

I have read some of your threads and would be interested to know how to get my son motivated to start learning even if it is at home whilst I am dealing with the tribunal.

 

We had to cut out all educational stuff, what we did was set up a whiteboard with a routine.

 

Something like this.

 

8am Wake up. 8:3Oam Breakfast 9:00am shower/Dress 10:00am Activity, he chooses.

12ish Dinner 1:00pm Relax/chill out 2:00pm Activity 4:00pm Chill out 6ish Tea

7:00pm Activity 8:00pm Bath 8:45pm Pajamas 9:00pm Supper 10pm Bedtime.

 

All visually displayed.

 

Activites can be Swimming, bike ride, a walk in the countryside, photography, baking, art and craft, board games such as scrabble, monopoly, park, adventure playgrounds, gym, running, hiking, rock climbing, anything he is interested in basically.

 

Set up a weeks worth on a weekly whiteboard and it will help give him a routine.

 

That is what we did when J was not in school and we also made a scrap book of what he did.

 

We included day trips too, to eurka, science based interst places, musuem, ect...

 

Education isnt just about a school, if you include a active timetable then your son can actually be learning.

 

You could hook up with your local Home education support group, many children have additional needs and you will be surprised how active the children are and how suddenly they want to actually learn.

 

JsMumx

[JsMum]

Another thing to add what we did when J was not at school was provide theraputic activites too, so Physiotherapy where J recieved weekly massage, Aromathreapy, we paid for a private Child Pyschologist where J recieved intensive Play Therapy and Family councilling for five weeks when we where in crisis.

 

J is keen with horses/animals so we had one to one horse riding lessons, and visited farms too, there is Disabled Horse Riding association so do look into this, there may be scope for your lad to volunteer to help out.

 

There is occupational therapy and other similair therapies to look into, Luckly J now recieves some of these theraputic services for free, so just passing them on incase you can look at doing some while at home.

 

JsMumx

Edited September 27, 2010 by JsMum

[lindy2017]

I have seen lots of info on how people have managed to get their children back into school. My son is 12 years old with high functioning autism. My son is currently refusing to engage with anyone to do with schools and also refusing home tutoring. He feels exhausted and tired most of the times and complains of lack of sleep. He does not do much or go out. He has been out of school since March this year. I have following people involved, EWO, home tuition, CAMHS, parent partnership, GP. I am having a common assessment framework prepared. I have also asked for a social worker. Tribunal is due in December. See if we can get an ed psych report done. My son has done a statement detailing his difficulties at school. I am trying to encourage him to come to Tribunal. The schools have said that he is absolutely fine and does not require an assessment and that we are the problem. I have two other boys who do not have problems attending school.

 

Any info will be appreciated. How can I get my son learning again. He is bright but says no one can teach him. He does not wish to do on-line learning as well.

hI, mY SON IS NOT DX BUT WAITING TO SEE camhs......I HAD TO TAKE HIM OUT OF SCHOOL MID APRIL AS HE WSNT COPING BEING THERE ANXIOU STREAA MELDOWNS........he was suppose to start secondary school couple of weeks ago but have him at home went to meeitng at school this morning to meet tutor and special needs etc., we agreed to ahev tutor for 5 hours a week spread over 3 days.....when i got home and told my son he had another meltdown ...but eventually came round and asked questions about tutor and what she said.....have to wait and see... the school want to eventually have in in school but they are taking baby steps and waiting to see how he copes.....he really wants me to teach him .....and not have strangers come to house....i wish he had a dx and not have to wait but i know it will take time.....i dont think he could cope with the school noise , lights lots of people etc., ........lindy

[coolblue]

I've been home educating my son (12) for three years now. Initially it was only as a temporary measure until school got sorted out, so we had a schooly sort of day with worksheets etc. He would wriggle out of them whenever he could. It was exhausting and uninspiring for both of us, so after a few months I declared a long holiday to have a think about what to do next. That was when he started learning - asking questions about comic books he was reading, so we found out the answers and it progressed from there.

 

Our timetable is now very like J's mum's. We rely heavily on books from the library around his interests and his knowledge has developed organically. He's got into maths really quickly through the 'Murderous Maths' series - after years of struggling with basic addition to fractions and square roots in a matter of weeks, because he's very interested in the ideas, even if he gets bogged down by the numbers.

 

Basically, you need to take your cue from him and work round his interests, at least to start with. And it could take him a long time to recover from what to him is a bad experience.

 

cb

[Known]

Thanks for your replies. I am hoping one day we will get into a routine. I just want the ed psych report done first (privately) which is happening in October. I do want to set up a routine but with everything else happening I have found it extremely challenging. Will update once I have more news. I had a social worker coming yesterday, first she said my son will not qualify for a statement then she ended the meeting my saying he should.

[Known]

To JSmum

 

I have now called Youngminds and am now in the process of ordering the book - school refusal. I was just wondering on what grounds were you able to get a statement and the specialist school for your son. My son is still not ready for any therapies. Like you all said this is all going to take a long time.