Hi I'm new and stressed!

[manxgal]

I'm so glad I've found a forum for ideas and help - and I now know I'm not alone in dealing with ASD. My son who is 11 was diagnosed with Atypical Autism, ADD and Separation Anxiety when he was 9. He had a difficult birth, needed oxygen, slow to talk and was completely antisocial in his reception year - hitting and biting others, missing out on any educational learning; absolutely panicked by the bell and any loud noises. At the time, we thought we were bad parents - I'm a teacher - but I'd never come across a child like my son. I blamed myself and I still do..... not sure what for tho! As he became used to school, things started to settle a little - by the time he was year 4, he'd hated school but went...and he'd finally stopped hurting others regularly - just now and then. He struggles with fine motor skills and needed constant encouragement to do any work at school. No one suggested ASD .... his paed told me on his first visit that because he could look her in the eye he wasn't autistic!! However, things changed greatly when he reached 9 - a very close family member died - someone who treated my son like her own child. Since then he has greatly regressed. He is constantly worried I'm going to die and hardly lets me out of his sight. We rang CAMHS in absolute distress because my son said he didn't deserve to live and hated himself for being different - he only realised this when he reached 9/10. He is too scared to sleep and is on medication to help him and is poor with change - Christmas has been hard work. I managed to push for a diagnosis finally and got him 0.4 support in school. Only because I'm a teacher tho - it's not fair is it? He has since started high school which caused no end of problems - the only good thing is he is so exhausted when he comes home from adapting to the constant change, he is asleep quite quickly and I don't have to sit with him anymore! However, his behaviour at home is awful - he hurts his younger brother and shouts, swears and throws things when asked to do something he doesn't want to do - like having a shower! Having read other posts, I realise my problems with my son are no where as bad as others....but I just needed to talk to someone/thing! Thanks for reading my post! xx

[justine1]

Welcome to the forum <'> Its very helpful,I have been on here for a year now.It helps to get advice but also just to vent.

 

I have four boys,my middle two Sam (7) and Dan(4) both have ASD. Sam has aspergers and they not sure where Dan is on the spectrum,but he has speech problems and appears "worse" in many ways than Sam. Sam goes to special school and Dan is in mainstream ,for now.

 

We are always here when you need a chat

[flappyfish]

Hello. I too have an 11 year old with ASD and am a teacher. I have never taught a child like mine either, althoughb I have taught children with ASDs, and I have been mortified by some of his behaviour in school. High school has been a nightmare to date, and he is barely coping, althought the school are being fantastic. As to using what you know as a teacher to help your child, I say go for it. In the light of what I know as a parent, I am far more proactive for the children I teach, and it's what you would want from any teacher of your child. Lawyers use what they know of the law etc. I do however feel strongly that we should stand up for those who don't have the parents who can do this for them. I do hope you mmake progress with your son. It certainly makes for an interesting life, but I'd settle for dull right now! Happy New Year!

[manxgal]

Thanks for those replies - it's just great to chat with people who know what it's like! I still feel I am constantly being judged and found wanting - as a teacher/parent who should do/know better! But it's a very steep learning curve! Happy New Year to you both and here's hoping 2011 will be a kind year to us all xx

[Natterer]

I can sympathise with you. It's so hard to keep on being patient with a child in your home who keeps hurting people, refuses to do anything they don't initiate themselves and is downright rude a lot of the time. (I've no idea if your son is like this but my 8 year old daughter is!). Christmas is especially taxing - change of routine, boredom, too much time with siblings etc etc. I don't have any answers but I know what you mean - I've had the eyes rolled and the assumptions about my parenting (although my younger child is very popular, with adults and peers). I am also a teacher, like you. I don't think being a teacher makes you a better parent but I do think being a parent makes you a better teacher and being a parent of someone with ASD, whilst driving you to distraction on a daily basis, makes you more understanding of other families and their problems.

 

Natterer x

[sky]

hi everyone -i am new to this forum and so glad i found it;i have an autistic boy of 13 who is very challenging at the moment -puberty! i also am a teaching assistant at his special school and i agree thatn my life with him has made me so much more tolerant towards other people. other people can and will judge but no amount of books can provide t6he knowledge that living with asd can.i think you are always struggling against coventionalways of thinking and dealing with childhood problems and it has taken me a long time to get the confidence to stand up for the approaches and statagies i believe in.someone very wise once said to me that you have to look from the inside out -a lot of people just view any problems from the outside in .and every chid is different . hoping i can find like minds to speak with